#i love my snake boy with all my heart and soul

[oceanicwriting]

you... love me?

part one. part two.

summary: it's been months since your relationship with theodore nott turned into hell. every week there was something to argue about, being fixed with sex to avoid the awkward conversation. you were tired, so you make a decision that could hurt the rest of your life.

pairing(s): theodore nott x fem!reader

a/n: i was thinking of a second part for this one, but i don't know... i'll think about it better ;-).

angst, toxic relationship

ㅤㅤㅤyou look at him, sitting among his friends in the stinky snake common room. they're smoking and talking so animatedly with each other that you hesitate to go meet him for fear of spoiling his peace. however, draco malfoy, one of his friends, waves in your direction with a nod that catches the attention of the entire group.

ㅤㅤㅤ—hey! what are you doing standing there? —mattheo asks, extending a half-finished cigarette in your direction—. you haven't been around here for days, how are you?

ㅤㅤㅤyou shake your head and, ignoring the boy's questions, look at theodore. in all this time, he hadn't turned to look at you even by mistake.

ㅤㅤㅤ—can we talk?

ㅤㅤㅤonly then do his blue eyes rest on your body. there was nothing in his gaze that would help you understand what was going on in his head, but he nods.

ㅤㅤㅤwhen he passes by you, inviting you to follow him, the scent of his perfume mixed with the cigarette in his fingers hits thousands of memories chained to the back of your mind. you feel your stomach twist, swallowing the urge to vomit as you take two big breaths of air. now that you were getting closer to the imminent end, you didn't think all the preparation was enough.

ㅤㅤㅤas you reach his bedroom, there is a silence that surrounds you with discomfort, making you lose all the sanity you had accumulated. he doesn't seem to notice the great effort you make to stand in front of him without bursting into tears, much less with those confident movements in the room.

ㅤㅤㅤ—so? —you knew that voice. the way the words stagnate in his throat, coming out hoarse and thick—. what do you want to talk about?

ㅤㅤㅤeverything felt familiar from that moment, making you fear that the succession of events will rush your bravery.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i know you're angry with me for...

ㅤㅤㅤhis sour laugh interrupts you, making you shut up to say—: angry? why would i be angry to see you strutting around with oliver?

ㅤㅤㅤyou roll your eyes, moving closer to him. his empty eyes remind you of all the other times things happened like this, repeating themselves over and over again to make your chest ache with anguish.

ㅤㅤㅤ—how many times do i have to say it? i explained it to you a thousand times —you say, feeling your cheeks redden from the rage that rises inside you—. oliver is my classmate! we were just talking.

ㅤㅤㅤ—do you think i'm going to believe that? —he faces you with the same rage you had built up—. do you think i'm an idiot?!

ㅤㅤㅤhis scream makes you step back, making his bitter gaze soften for a second, but your cynical laugh doesn't help lighten the rage he contains in his clenched fists.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i just can't believe it...

ㅤㅤㅤit was always the same. theodore would start to reproach something that had twisted in his mind, blaming you and yelling at you to make you feel enough guilt that would manage to subdue your anger. within a minute, he would regret it. he would say things that sound like achievable promises, but they are nothing more than lies that you had already tasted before. he knew exactly how to play with you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what is it that you can't believe?

ㅤㅤㅤyou look at him, angry from the depths of his soul and playing with every sensitive part of your mind.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i can't keep doing this, theodore.

ㅤㅤㅤin an instant his gaze, strong and hard, transforms into a soft and confused one. your heart starts to beat hard, forcing you to hold back the accumulation of tears that threaten to run down your face. your head hurts with the simple exchange of glances that loses more and more fierceness.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i-i can't keep fighting with you. —your trembling lip betrays all your emotions, but you try to stay strong—. i can't keep listening to you...

ㅤㅤㅤ—bella...

ㅤㅤㅤtheodore tries to get closer with his hands determined to caress your face. he wanted to comfort you, repent, and find a solution that doesn't involve losing you, although he didn't know that nothing could make you fall again before his empty words.

ㅤㅤㅤ—no! —you scream, making him look at you perplexed—. don't come near me.

ㅤㅤㅤyou and theodore nott had met four years ago. for a whole year, you were nothing more than friends, getting to know each other more deeply every day and losing yourselves in each other's safety. the lines became blurred soon after, when you began to lose yourselves in tender caresses. you never thought that getting to know him much more would be so torturous.

ㅤㅤㅤyou remember the first time you two argued. it was because you had sat next to fred weasley in class, and thanks to his personality, you laughed more than you should have. you had cried so much that night that you promised not to make the same mistake. so afterward, it wasn't just about laughing at someone else's jokes because you weren't allowed to talk to, look at, or meet another man.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i came to break up with you —you say, theodore freezes. you were walking away right in front of his eyes—. we can't keep doing this to each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ—no, you can't...

ㅤㅤㅤ—yes i can. —your hands clench at the bottom of your vest, pressing your nails into your palms—. i can walk away from you. we're not doing anything right, theodore. you have to understand.

ㅤㅤㅤfrom one moment to the next, his cold and familiar hands hold your face. your tears running down your cheeks are erased by the softness of his thumb, trying to chase away any fear outside. your heart couldn't take it.

ㅤㅤㅤ—but i love you. —you deny, slowly removing his hands—. don't do this, please.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you... love me? —you question, perplexed. you search for all the strength possible inside yourself, ignoring the lit charm in his gaze—. if you love me, you would trust me. if you love me like you say, you would listen when i tell the truth. theodore... if you love me, you wouldn't hurt me so much. no, you don't love me.

ㅤㅤㅤhe looks at you, so close but far away.

ㅤㅤㅤ—nothing can save this.

ㅤㅤㅤtheodore could see the obvious. he could see all the times he hurt you, flashing through your eyes. his mistakes were marked on every part of your body, like tattoos he could now see.

ㅤㅤㅤyour hand reaches for the door handle, escaping in complete silence. you couldn't bear the softness of his words attacking you once more, and that forced you to escape down the hall with speed. you wanted to believe that if you ever met again, everything could end differently.

[daintylovers]

Moments in Love

Stiles Stilinski x Reader

A/N: based off of a request from @beyond-the-stars-fairy

"Hey, can I request a season one stiles falling in love with the reader!"

ur wish is my command <3

Summary: Glimpses of Stiles falling in love with you, throughout Season One.

1.

If anyone were to ask Stiles who the girl of his dreams was, he would say you in a heartbeat. It felt like you had always been the one for him. An unrealistic fantasy that every teenage boy has. Except at this stage, most of his peers were moving on to more attainable girls. Not Stiles though, never Stiles. You could hit him with your car and he would thank you for it, the lovesick idiot. It didn't help either that you were oh-so-sweet to him. You guys weren't friends, more like acquaintances. But in his dreams, you were more than anything he could imagine.

So, even though Scott had just shown him a nasty "wolf" bite, his attention was stuck on you as you waltzed up the school's front steps. He called out your name in greeting and was pleasantly met with a smile and a wave.

Scott, did you see that. I mean we're practically set up for a slow-burn love affair. I swear to you, one day, she will be my wife.

Stiles, can you focus on something other than her for like five seconds! Jesus man, I show you I got bit by a freaking wolf last night because of you, and you don't bat an eye. But she wiggles her fingers and it's like your brain is fried. Get a grip.

The spaz manages to do as Scott says, until later that day he spots the new girl hanging around his girl. By the way, his best friend is looking at the new girl, he can tell that Scott is just as screwed as he is. Serves him right, it's time for someone else to feel the way he feels all the time.

Stiles learns that her name is Allison and remembers the class they share together. He won't lie, she's pretty, of course she is. But she's nothing compared to you in his eyes. Seeing the pair of you talking and giggling like long-lost friends from across the hall only makes his heart hammer harder. Even Scott comments about how Stiles' heart is seriously racing against his chest. Almost like Scott could actually hear it? Weird, but whatever, just means that Stiles has more than homework to do tonight.

But the newfound discovery about his best friend takes a toll on Stiles's mind, suddenly finds himself obsessed over werewolf lore rather than the smell of your shampoo when you sit next to him in math.

Stiles, are you listening?

Fuck, he was totally ignoring you. He obviously didn't do it on purpose, but what if you thought he was.

Stilessssssss, hellooooooo

Your fingers waving in front of his eyes is what causes him to come back to the land of the conscious.

Yes, sorry, yes, I am totally listening 100%.

Really? Then, what did I say?

You said, Stiles, hello in a way that a snake would if they were real. Like a cartoon snake with really good-smelling hair.

God, was he cursed to be the most awkward boy alive or something.

You aren't wrong, but you aren't fooling me Stilinski. I was very kind-hearted and I know you weren't listening. Guess I'll have to ask someone else.

No! No, don't ask someone else. I'm sorry. I promise I am paying attention now.

Good, because I won't ask again. Are you doing anything this weekend?

Was he dreaming? He had to have been dreaming.

No-no, nope, nothing. Yep, I am totally doing nothing this weekend by myself. Why do you ask?

I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party with me? Lydia has Jackson, and Allison is going with Scott. So I figured we could go together since our friends are coupled up.

And just when he thought his heart might explode, you added, Not as a date or anything. I just don't want to show up alone, you know. Plus, you shouldn't have to show up alone. We can show up alone together!

Yeah, that's great. Totally not soul-crushing to hear. God, you probably thought he was into boys. Which is fine, of course, Stiles was anything but homophobic. Yet, it's a tough spot to be in when the girl of your straight(?) male dreams thinks you swing for the other team.

Yeah, I would love to. Do you need a ride or something?

Which is how he arrived to now, driving with you in his passenger seat. Thank god it wasn't awkward. Sure, the small talk could have been better, but he could tell you were nervous. He just didn't know why. He knew why he was nervous, you were fucking gorgeous. And his best friend was surely going to kill your new friend tonight, but whatever. Live in the moment is what everyone says. And if he could, Stiles would stay in this moment forever. Getting to peek over at you softly singing along to the radio, windows down, the streetlights hitting you just enough to make you look like a dream.

Arriving at the party, you guys immediately got drinks and went to say your hello's. Turns out, you knew a lot more people than he did. But you never let him leave your side, always ready to introduce him to whoever you were talking to.

After you had finished, you suggested beer pong. Stiles opted out on condition of driving you home safely but promised to watch from the sidelines. So you were partnered up with some other guy, and Stiles could feel his envy choking him.

Even though you smiled at him when you would score, Stiles's stomach was sick at the thoughts he was having. You looked good with him, fit in with him. Self-loathing was a bitch.

Yet, when you won, you didn't run to the other guy's arms and hug him. No, it was Stiles who received your affections as if he had helped any. The boy was quick to catch you as you catapulted yourself into his arms. You were saying something to him, but he was focused on the way you fit in his arms.

You pulled away quicker than he hoped but stayed at arm's length. Which is where he could smell the alcohol on your breath, and his illusion was shattered once more. You were only clinging to him because of what was in your system.

With your wide eyes staring at him and the little puffs of air leaving your nose, Stiles had to force himself to look elsewhere. Anywhere else. Cause if he didn't, he was sure to kiss you. And that wouldn't be good for anyone.

This is when he spotted Scott tearing himself away from Allison, and rushing outside. Stiles turned his attention back to you and fought every muscle in his body not to kiss you.

I've got to go, I'll be right back.

Then he left because he knew that if he stayed and explained, someone might die.

What he didn't know, is that you were quick to follow him. The guy was your ride home after all.

As Stiles searched for Scott, he noticed Allison getting into Derek's car. This is when you practically slammed into his back, not realizing he had come to a stop.

Stiles jerked forward a little not prepared for your momentum, and then looked to see who had just body-slammed him.

Where is she going?

Even in your drunken stupor, your protectiveness for your friends was overpowering.

I don't know, but I have to go find Scott. Can you get a ride with someone else?

No.

Then you marched yourself to his car, him following behind like a puppy dog.

I'm coming with you because, after Scott's, you're taking me to Allison's to see if she's okay. No teenager has that nice of a car unless it's Jackson.

Fair enough.

Your persistence gave him hope that one day, he could be someone that you would be protective over. Maybe being friends with you wasn't the worst thing in the world. Because then, at least, you would love him in some capacity.

2.

The next few days after the party had been a bit of a blur for Stiles. Allison had been alright after all, and you had ended up staying at her house for the night. Stiles had received a text from you a few hours after he found Scott, saying thanks for the night- even if I was more than a little drunk and bossy.

From that point on, you guys texted a little here and there each day. It was a little slice of heaven away from the supernatural drama that had brutally invaded his peace of mind.

For example, Scott had convinced himself this morning that he had practically eaten Allison alive last night. Turns out, Allison was safe, but Scott had definitely eaten someone alive, judged by the amount of blood the bus had contained.

Stiles had been ready to discuss the details he had gathered through the day with Scott during lunch. But his plans were stopped when someone who wasn't Scott sat down at the table. In fact, a lot of people who weren't Scott had started sitting down.

It wasn't until you sat down next to him that Stiles decided he wasn't irritated at the intrusion. This was actually a really great intrusion.

Did you hear they found out who the body was? It was this old bus driver. The police think it was an animal attack again. Has your dad said anything?

No, I haven't asked him yet. But, I'll tell you if he says anything worse than an animal attack.

God, could you imagine being the bus driver. The fear he must have felt? I stopped going for walks in the woods because I didn't want to have a bite taken out of me. And now it's happening at school? What's next, the movie store?

It's probably for the best that you stopped going into the woods. Dangerous stuff out there. If you're really that bored, at least bring someone with you.

Are you volunteering, Stilinski?

Then, someone interrupted his tranquility, Hey lovebirds, are you in or are you out?

Stiles felt his whole body turn red looking at you, he could see your cheeks start to flush at the implication.

Fuck off Jackson- what are you even talking about?

Thank god you said something in response because Stiles was sure his voice would have cracked.

Me, Lydia, Allison, and her new little friend are going bowling. Are you and your new little friend coming? Or will I be forced to play with people who suck at bowling?

You turned your head back to Stiles, bowling? He shook his head, he would not fall into the same ploy that Scott had landed himself into.

Nah, Stiles and I are going to just work on homework. Thanks though, think of me when someone else kicks your ass, Jackson.

Jackson gave you a fake laugh before going back to his original conversation. This time, Stiles and you were listening, not wanting to be caught. The bell rang shortly after, and Stiles was eager to get Scott alone. But you had other ideas.

Stiles, wait up!

Stiles waited up, as you caught up to him.

Since our friends are going bowling, do you actually want to hang out? Be alone together type of thing again? We could hang out at your house and I'll bring snacks!

Yep, being friends with you was definitely better than nothing.

Of course, Stiles said yes, which is how he ended up with you falling asleep on his shoulder. You had let him pick the movie, shoving homework aside. Naturally, he had picked Star Wars, after you had said you hadn't seen any of them. The two of you had already been hanging out since 4pm, so when he put on the movie at 9pm, he knew there was a chance that you might get tired.

But there's that saying, that people only sleep, like truly sleep, when they feel safe. Seeing the soft rise and fall of your chest, your body unconsciously seeking out the heat from his body, had Stiles feel at peace for the first time since this shit had all started. His chest warmed at the thought that you trusted him enough to be this vulnerable with him.

So he shut off his laptop and debated on waking you, but he could feel the lack of sleep on his part rapidly catching up to him. A nap wouldn't hurt. He could set an alarm for thirty minutes and then wake you up to go home. It wouldn't be totally weird if he fell asleep next to you, right? His eyes made up his mind, as his eyelids became heavier and heavier the longer he had this internal debate with himself. Just thirty minutes to be selfish and envision a life where this was every day, and then he would be fine.

3.

Thirty minutes turned into a lot longer than thirty minutes, the two of you waking up to being tangled in the arms of the other. Stiles being Stiles, made it awkward by trying to not make it awkward. But you handle it like a champ, much to Stiles's liking.

Oh my god, stop freaking out Stilinski. I sleep with all my friends. this just means your status has risen from schoolmate to friend level three.

Yeah, being your friend is 100% better than nothing. Especially if that first part was true.

After Stiles calmed down, you guys got dressed and went out for breakfast.

Stiles should have known that something this great would only be followed by literal horrors. For starters, everyone's least favorite werewolf, Derek, decided to involve Scott and him in his pity party bullet hole wound. Stiles was sure that he would never forget the vision of holding a bone saw and being prepared to cut a guy's arm off. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw that moment.

You, however, would have the same type of moment a few days later, at the movie store. You had been searching for a new movie for movie night with Stiles. Hanging out with him had become your own personal brand of heroin, soaking up the minutes like a sponge.

It was in the romance aisle, that you heard a familiar voice calling out for help.

The Notebook? Really Jackson, I never thought you were a sentimental type of guy.

Jackson spotted you in the aisle adjacent, coming up to look with you.

Trust me, I'm not. It's for Lydia.

For some reason, this store had every movie but The Notebook. And there was not another soul around. It was after that realization, that goosebumps rose on your arms. Something was wrong.

The lights started to flicker and Jackson held out his arm, to keep you behind him. He felt it too.

But you guys couldn't just stand there, so you swerved and started walking in front of him. Turning the corner, you felt your breath catch in your throat. Someone else had been here, in with you guys. But from the way his body was crumpled like a piece of paper, he wasn't really here with you guys anymore.

You felt Jackson come up behind you and let out a gasp. Turning to face him, you said, We gotta leave. Like now.

Jackson turned around, ready to take the lead, when a monstrous figure emerged out of the very aisle we had just been in.

The size of its body was a quick indicator that this thing was definitely not human. But, way too beefed up to be any animal you knew of. Jackson started taking tiny steps back. Maybe the thing was blind and hadn't spotted you yet.

You guys quickly made your way into a different aisle, with you holding a hand over your mouth to silence your breathing. Jackson made sure that this time you wouldn't sneak around him, his chest and arm locking you in place, with his head turned around to keep a lookout.

The thing completely walks past you guys, and for a second you believe that it really might be blind. But then the shelves start a domino chain and Jackson only has a split second to decide whether he'll save you or himself.

The former jackass, shoves you out of the aisle, as the shelf next to you guys collapses on top of him, crushing his legs.

Your head swerves around, trying to locate the beast, but you come up empty. It wasn't blind, it was playing with you guys. The way a child plays with its food. You stand and bend down ready to try and lift the shelf off Jackson.

Stop, stop, stop, he whispers, Just go. I'll be okay, but you won't. Go.

Shut up, you whisper back, I'm not leaving you.

It's then that a growl erupts through the air. The creature has come back to finish you guys off. Out of fear, you try even harder to lift the shelf as the animal slowly starts to approach you guys.

Fuck, fuck fuck, you chant, the furniture not budging.

With a final tug, you stumble back and fall onto the floor. This is where you die, on a dirty floor while your friend watches, probably also about to die.

But the creature does the strangest thing. It walks over to Jackson, paying you no mind as your instincts take over and you scramble a bit away. It digs its claws into Jackson next and the boy lets out a guttural scream, both out of terror and pain. The beast removes its claws and turns to face you.

Quick as lightning, it's crowding up your space, breathing its hot breath on your face. Its eyes are red as red can be, almost glowing with intensity. Its coarse hair tickles your neck, as it leans down, smelling you like a dog. It looks back at you and you swear your heart stops. It just stares at you and you stop breathing.

Then it stands up straight, breaks into a run/crawl, and bursts through the glass doors.

You're out of it until the ambulance arrives. But even then you can't fully decipher their questions. It isn't until you see Sheriff Stilinski talking to Jackson, that your mind sobers up a bit. The man walks up to you, telling the paramedics to check on Jackson one last time.

Are you alright sweetheart?

With Stiles and your newfound friendship, you've met Sheriff Stilinski more than enough times to have formed a little bond with him. He likes you, thinks you're great for his son, and tells you every chance he gets, despite Stiles' complaining.

You don't even get the chance to answer his question, because his son starts causing a frenzy in the crowd. Of course, Stiles was there. Thank god Stiles was here.

The boy bursts forward, eager to see his dad, but falters when he notices your shriveled form sitting in the back of the ambulance.

Are you alright? Is she alright?

I'm okay Stiles, just a little shaken.

Thank god, he says, then goes to hug you, overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of something harming you.

But he stops himself when he sees you flinch. Your eyes drop to your hands sitting in your lap and guilt consumes you.

Stiles, once they do a final check on her, can you take her home?

Of course Dad. See you at home.

The sheriff shares the sentiment and then walks off, leaving you and the boy alone.

What happened there? he questions softly, afraid to scare you off.

You won't believe me.

When he doesn't respond, you look up at him. His head is tilted, offering you a chance to explain even if it's absurd. It's when he clutches your hand and flips it over to trace your palm, that you tell him. And you tell him everything, even the part about how the attacker was not human.

He lets you finish, and when you do, you look up at him with wide, glossy eyes.

Stiles, I thought I was gonna die. I should have died.

A tear rolls down your cheeks and he tries to hug you again. This time you accept it, and start weeping into his chest. He rubs up and down your back with one hand, the other cupping the back of your head.

It's okay, it's okay. You're fine, just a little shaken like you said. You just need some rest. Let me take you home.

He signals for the EMTs to check you one last time before he gets the okay.

It isn't until you're halfway home that you realize, he didn't say if he believed you or not.

Do you think I'm crazy?

And it's because he loves you, that he avoids the question.

I think you just need some sleep.

You take that as a neon sign saying yes you are completely crazy, and keep your mouth shut the rest of the ride. When you arrive at your house, you thank him for the ride and then quickly leave to go inside.

Stiles thinks nothing of it. Why would you want to stay and chat after something like that? In fact, he's proud of himself for dodging your question, cause he thinks he's spared you from any harm.

He texts you before he goes to bed, and wakes up to nothing from you. No biggie, you're probably still asleep.

4.

Monday rolls around, and you haven't responded to any of his texts. And trust me, he has sent a lot of texts. A concerning amount. He's holding on to hope that you're just waiting to say something to him in school, but you don't show up.

He isn't your boyfriend or anything, so he doesn't show up to your house.

Until Tuesday comes and you still haven't responded and you still aren't at school.

As first period starts, he realizes that everybody but him is not at school. What the fuck? So he takes that as his sign to fake sick and also not be at school.

The excuse worked well enough with the nurse, who waved him off with a note for the day like she was giving them out like candy. Whatever, that worked for him.

He tried calling Scott first, which went to voicemail. He wasn't close enough with Allison so he wouldn't call her. Plus he had a feeling that the two lovebirds were with each other anyway. He didn't have Lydia's number and doubted Jackson would give a shit if Stiles checked in.

That just left you. You who had been avoiding him for days. For someone so intelligent, he couldn't figure out what had happened between you guys. Was this your way of shoving him aside, bored already?

Stiles wasn't a quitter though, so he tried calling, but to no avail.

Fine, be that way. If you won't answer, he'll make a house call. With his nerves on fire, he made it to your house quicker than he should have. Your car was in the driveway and so was another car. Probably your mom's. At least he knew you were home.

He parked and went to knock on your door. Your mom answered a minute later, greeting the boy with a polite smile. He hadn't met your parents yet. You had chosen his place as the hangout spot, so it just hadn't happened.

Hi, I'm Stiles, a friend of your daughters. I was just coming by to check on her. May I come in?

Your mom let him in, telling him that she would go see if you're awake first. They had you on meds for the shock, real hard stuff.

But what your mom didn't know, is that you hadn't been taking them. Just hiding them in your cheek until you could spit them out. You weren't crazy. That thing wasn't a goddamn mountain lion and screw everyone who kept trying to tell you it was. You knew what you saw.

Instead, during the hours you were supposed to be knocked out, you spent researching everything you could about the creature. With only a description, it wasn't easy at first. But after putting some papers together, you began to connect the dots. All of the deaths blamed on animal attacks, Stiles telling you to stay out of the woods, using Scott's regular wolf bite as an example, the other weird shit you had seen since living in beacon hills, everything was adding up.

Your mom knocked on your door and you hid your laptop under the covers, lying down and closing your eyes. She came in after a moment and gently shook you.

Fluttering your eyes open, you made your voice raspy, asking her what?

You have a friend here to visit you, his name is Stiles. Do you want him to come up, or should I tell him a different time might work better?

A flurry of emotions clouded your head. Of course, you wanted to see him. You missed him, even though it had only been a few days. But he wasn't telling you something, you couldn't trust him until you got your evidence that you weren't crazy. If you didn't have proof, he would shut you down like last time.

Can you tell him another time, please? I don't feel too well.

Your mom obliged, leaving you alone again.

Stiles' leg hadn't stopped shaking. He was nervous like how he used to be around you. You were friends now though, he reasoned, he shouldn't be so nervous.

Seeing your mom come down the stairs, he burst out of the chair. At his eager reaction, your mom gave him a pity smile, and he knew.

She's still out of it. A different time would work better, if you want I can give you her number so you guys can text.

He visibly deflated, No, it's okay. I have her number so I'll keep in touch. Thank you.

The ball was in your court, and he had never felt sicker with want.

5.

You woke up from your nap and checked your messages immediately. Just because you weren't responding to Stiles, didn't mean you weren't reading them.

But instead, your phone was barren aside from one text from Scott. That was weird considering you guys weren't super close or anything.

Opening it, you felt your heart drop.

Stiles is in danger. You need to get to the school, the creature is back. Please help him.

All common sense went out the window as you read those first words, Stiles is in danger.

You didn't question how Scott knew about the creature to why he wanted you specifically to save his best friend. Or even why at the school? The only thing in your head that had alarms going off was Stiles being in danger.

You throw a sweater over your shirt and put on some shoes. Attire really was the least of your concerns right now. Thankfully your parents were asleep, so you snuck out the door and drove to the school.

You arrived at the same time another familiar car did.

Jackson, what are you doing here? You said, after getting out of the car.

Allison answered, I got a text from Scott telling me to meet him here. We were all going on a double date again. But he's like an hour late.

This was a setup, and you guys were screwed.

You guys have to get out of here. I got a text from Scott too, saying Stiles was in danger. But it's not real. Jackson, it's that thing.

Allison jumped in before Jackson could, What thing? Also no way are we leaving you here, Let's just investigate together, Jackson and Lydia stay out here, and if we aren't back in 15 minutes, call the police.

How could you explain to the girl that if she went in there a possible werewolf would eat her alive. And that her boyfriend and his best friend have also probably been already eaten alive. You couldn't. But Allison wasn't one to take no for an answer, and you weren't about to leave with them. So you compromised.

Call the police in ten if we aren't out. You told Jackson, and then began walking with Allison up the steps.

The school was dark and cold. We made our way to the pools before our silence was interrupted. Allison's phone went off, and it was Scott who was calling.

She looked to you, as if for permission, and you just nodded your head, eager to see if Scott was actually behind the phone call or if it was something else.

They have their little chat as you stalk away from the girl, walking on the other side of the pool.

Hey! He said to get to the lobby now, and he sounded really worried.

You guys made your way to the lobby and were greeted by Scott playing his own game of 20 questions.

But you stopped listening when you saw Stiles move from behind Scott. He rushed to you, gripping your shoulders.

What are you doing here? She didn't say you were with her?

You shrugged his hands off, He asked us to be here. but gave very different reasoning to both of us.

Stiles was hurt by your action but covered it up with more questions. Who Scott? What do you mean he asked you to be here? What did he say?

Jesus, Stiles slow down. You said, shoving your phone at him. he swiped it immediately and read the message that his best friend definitely did not send.

He didn't send this.

Obviously, you deadpanned.

Listen, you need to leave now. You need to drive to the station and get my dad. Tell him I'm in trouble at the school.

What the fuck? No, you tell him.

And then on second thought, you added, I know you know who sent this text. What the fuck is going on here? Is it connected with the werewolf?

Stiles' eyes almost popped out of his skull at your closing comment. How did you know?

As for you, you finally got your confirmation. You weren't crazy after all. Now why was he hiding it from you?

Wait- why was he always at the wrong place at the right time? No way that was a coincidence.

Was Stiles the fucking werewolf?

You weren't about to out him as a supernatural creature. Because what if you did and then he killed the other in front of you as some sort of bonding ritual before turning you? A week ago you would have begged to be sent to a therapist for having thoughts like this. But now? It was so unlikely as it should have been.

All you said was, I knew it.

He was quick with a reply, You don't know anything. Stop it.

I knew it, you laughed a little. I fucking knew it, I'm not crazy.

You don't know it. You're crazy, bat shit insane, please stop. His commands turned to begging at the end. He really didn't want you to know.

You guys were cut short when Lydia and Jackson burst through the doors. But even they were cut short when a loud thump came from the roof.

Soley out of fear, you moved closer to Stiles, and he wrapped a palm around your wrist.

You watch as Stiles and Scott share a look, then Scott yells, RUN!

Stiles practically yanks you behind him and you barely make it up the stairs before the ceiling collapses. You turn your head to look down and see it.

An odd mix of relief and terror fills you. It isn't Stiles, which is very good. But it is going to kill you this time, which is very bad.

We make it to the cafeteria and Stiles pulls me into a corner while Scott and Jackson bolt the doors. Then everyone starts moving chairs to barricade the door. You go to help, eager to not be eaten, when Stiles, whose hand is still clenching your wrist pulls you back. You turn, sending him a questioning glance, and he jerks his head to the twenty-foot wall of windows.

Stiles tries to get everyone's attention, yet no one listens to him. Irritated and beyond terrified you shout, HEY!

That gets everyone's attention, which allows Stiles to speak.

He informs the group of the windows and Allison cracks, Can someone please tell me what's going on here because I'm really scared. What is happening?

Scott and Stiles share another look. And even though the question was directed at Scott, Stiles answers, Somebody killed the janitor.

What is he talking about Scott? Is this a joke? Allison tries.

Who killed him? You questioned, waiting to see if the boys will give up the werewolf.

Scott panics at all the attention, everyone's eyes waiting on him. I don't know alright. But whoever it is, they are going to kill us too.

Why is he protecting the werewolf, you think? Then another thought hits you, Is Scott the werewolf? Is that why it didn't kill you, why he sent the text saying Stiles was in danger? Had he been planning to kill us all and then second-guessed it? But that couldn't be it because Scott was in here now. Fuck man.

One question still remained, Why were both boys protecting the werewolf identity?

Who is it? You asked, and Stiles knew you weren't talking about the alleged killer. You were smart and he loved it, but now was not the time to be smart.

No one answers, so Allison tries again.

It's then that Scott says, It's Derek. Derek Hale.

I look to Stiles who looks at Scott like he's the stupidest person alive. It's not Derek. Scott's a liar.

Everyone starts questioning and Scott continues, I saw him, alright. Derek killed all those people. Starting with his own sister. It's been Derek the whole time. He's here, and if we don't get out now, he will kill us too.

Call the cops, Jackson demands.

Stiles snaps out of his stupor, No.

If it really was Derek, Stiles would have no problem with his dad and a shooting team hunting him down. It's not Derek. Or maybe it is, but Dereks not fully Derek. You know?

Stiles and Jackson argue as you try and unravel the mystery. It isn't until Lydia gets hung up on that you tune back in.

Why does Derek want to kill us specifically? You question. Just a few days ago, you had no clue about anything. Content to believe it was all animal attacks. So why would he be going after you now?

Allison seconds your question and adds a few more, which prompts Scott to yell in anxiety. The girl sulks away, opting to not ask any more questions for fear of his reaction.

Scotts goes to a corner and Stiles moves to follow him. You stray not too far, eager to hear their conversation.

Don't you want to see if Allison is alright? Scott's kinda a dick, and you probably don't want to hear me scold him. Stiles tries.

She's a big girl, she can handle herself.

Please, he tries again.

No. You say and stand right next to Scott. The aforementioned boy sends you a curious glance.

If looks could kill, Stiles might have had you dead. All he was trying to do was protect you, and you were being a brat about it. You didn't know anything, but if you wanted to know so badly, then you would.

First off, throwing Derek under the bus? Nicely done.

Scott's eyes widen and his best friend outs him as a liar in front of you.

Stiles continues, Secondly, she knows so don't give me that look. I don't know how she knows but she knows alright.

Scott looks to you for confirmation, I know.

Fine, he starts, I didn't know what else to do plus, he's dead so it doesn't really matter. Then he turned his attention solely to you, I just bit her head off didn't I?

You look to Stiles in disbelief, who just sighs in disappointment.

Scott, I'm sure she'll be fine. Just apologize later. You try.

Stiles, who had enough goes, Bigger issues at had people, like how are we not going to die?

A thought strikes you, But if it wanted us dead, we would be dead already. It wants something else. It's like when it didn't kill Jackson or me even though we were very killable.

So what, it wants to eat us at the same time?

Scott jumps in, No- Derek said it wants revenge.

You start, Revenge against what? Why lure me and Allison here? I know I didn't do anything to cause something like this.

Both boys have the same thought at the same time, Allison's family.

Allison's family? What the fuck did they have to do with you?

Jackson breaks our circle, New plan asshats. Stiles calls his useless dad and he comes down here with a bunch of guns.

Stiles is quick to shut that idea down, but Scott prevails, Stiles, you might have to tell him.

No way, I am not watching him get eaten alive. It's bad enough she's here, and he points to you, I won't lose them both.

Jackson shoves Scott to the side and tries to yank Stiles's phone out of his hands. Stiles is quick on the recoil, knocking Jackson's jaw back.

But it was just for show, as Stiles tries to call his dad himself. He gets voicemail and it sinks in that you might be dead in the water.

Banging erupts from the doors, both Scott and Stiles move to be in front of you, taking slow steps back to herd the rest of the group. You reach out to grab Stiles's hand, which rests behind his back, and he grips yours in response.

Our only option is up, Stiles says.

You answer, Up is better than here.

Screws start falling out of place and your heart beats at the tempo of the banging. That was the cue for everyone to hall ass upstairs, and as you guys make it, the creature breaks down the doors. The chairs in the way slow him down and you thank your idiot friends for placing them there.

You run into the nearest classroom, locking the door as if the werewolf couldn't just rip the door off its hinges. Everyone tries to slow their breathing when a figure ghosts by the frosted glass. Out of instinct, Stiles crowds your space, holding you against him. The figure stays for a beta too long before leaving. It knows you're here. What the fuck.

You turn in Stiles's arms to stare up at him, and he just sighs, wishing this nightmare would end already.

You feel the same and leave his warm embrace to search for a way out, Could we unlock this and leave?

Stiles whispers, It's a deadbolt.

The janitor will have it though, you reason.

His body will have it. No way.

I can get it, Scott announces. He comes closer to us, I can find him by scent. By blood.

Scott is a werewolf. But not the werewolf. Does that mean Stiles is one too?

Scott decides for himself, I'm getting those keys.

It's Allison who says what's on everyone's minds, Are you kidding? You can't go out there unarmed.

Scott picks up a ruler and thankfully Allison doesn't slap him upside the head. Looking around, you realize which classroom you're inside.

He won't be unarmed, you say making a move to the cabinet. You start pulling out supplies and Jackson isn't amused.

What are you gonna do? Throw acid on him?

Lydia answers, Yes, that's exactly what he's gonna do. Sort of. There's everything you need to make a self-igniting Molotov cocktail.

Stiles stares, dumbfounded, while you and Lydia work on the concoction. Jackson tries to help, but you don't let him, eager to finish yourself.

In record time, you hand Scott the bottle, sending him off with a thank you. He is risking his life after all, even if he's a werewolf. He smiles in appreciation and Allison steps in, not prepared to see him die.

Scott, just stop. Do you remember when you told me you knew whether I was lying or not, that I had a tell? Well, you have one too and you've been lying this whole time.

You look to Stiles and he can feel the angst bubbling in his chest. You don't say anything and it makes him feel worse.

Scott looks to his best friend, in similar anguish, Lock the door behind me.

Allison pulls him in for a kiss and you look to Stiles yet again. For a split second, he envisions that it's you two in that scenario, that you're kissing him goodbye with all the passion you have. It helps that you stare back at him, but your face is cold.

You turn away, angling yourself out of his space, and go to sit with Allison.

Later on, after you've been saved by Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles catches up to you. He starts to open his mouth but you cut to the chase, Please don't. I don't want to hear any bullshit excuse.

I promise I won't try to dick you around right now, okay? But we have to talk about what happened there.

Do you want to talk about the werewolf who has almost killed me twice? That you knew was lurking around and didn't think to mention to me? Instead, just giving me cryptic messages about being safe and staying out of the woods?

Well- yeah, kinda. He loses his momentum.

I already know Stiles, I don't want to talk about it. Especially if Scotts is one of them. Do you realize that he could have killed us too? Why didn't you tell me? Why lie?

His momentum kicks back up Because I was trying to protect you? Are you kidding? If you knew it would only place you in more danger. You didn't have to know, everything was fine without you knowing. Now it's just more stress, another problem to add to the list.

That's what I am to you? Another problem to add to the list?

No- that's not-

No, whatever Stilinski. Consider me, not your problem anymore. I can take care of myself. And I promise to protect your friend's little reputation. Just stay the hell away from me.

And with that, you walked away, and for once, Stiles didn't try to follow you.

6.

It's Friday night, and Stiles wishes that he had followed you. Argued with you about your safety. At least then he would have had more time with you. The friendship that had been cultivated now turned to ash. He had tried texting the morning after. Nothing. He had tried talking to you in school. Nothing. It was like he didn't exist all over again.

And it was unbearable.

Stiles only had one solution, learned from years of living with his dad. Alcohol could solve any problem, albeit temporarily. And because of Scott's recent return to loser-ville, Stiles figured the boy would also need some liquid courage to get back on his feet.

After more than a few sips, (try half the bottle), he could safely say that he was feeling pretty damn good. As long as he didn't think of you. Which was hard. But doable.

Scott on the other hand had discovered that because of his supernatural abilities, alcohol had no effect. Bummer. But not Stiles' problem.

You also weren't Stiles' problem anymore.

Fuck, no, don't think about her, he told himself.

Dude, don't think about her alright. She's one girl in a fish of a million seas.

Scott just laughed at his drunken friend's antics, but Stiles was on a mission to cure himself and the other boy.

I'm serious alright. Fish are like girls and sometimes in the sea, you want a specific one. And she's everything, the perfect fish. So you go fishing in the fish sea. And you manage to catch her. It's not your fault if she hops out of your hands, you know. You just have to keep fishing and hope she comes back. I really want her back.

Scott punched Stiles in the arm, and the boy yelped like a dog, What the hell man? he whimpered.

You told me to hit you if you talked about her. Said the pain would clear your mind.

Right, yeah, Stiles nodded his head. It's just hard not to think about her. Or talk about her. I really miss her- OW. Being alone is way worse.

Scott agreed, saving his friend from another bruise-earning hit. Stiles definitely was worse without you.

7.

You really hadn't wanted to go dress shopping today. But Lydia had convinced you by saying it was a girl's day and that you had to get out of the house at some point.

She was annoying but she wasn't wrong.

So here you were, looking for dresses for a dance that you definitely wouldn't go to. Turning your head, you felt someone's gaze. Locking eyes with the one person in the entire world you didn't want to see, you cursed aloud.

The lady next to you looked appalled by the profanity and you squeezed by her, eager to get away.

Stiles felt his heart shatter all over again- you couldn't even look at him? Was it really over?

Ducking into a separate section, you found Allison who looked at you skeptically. You told her who you saw and she had the nerve to laugh at you. If you really didn't care about him, you wouldn't have run away.

First of all, Allison, you sneered, I didn't run. I walked politely away. And second of all, I don't care about liars. And he is a liar.

I wonder if he's going to the dance too? Allison questioned.

Probably not, he hates school functions.

Perfect, so you wouldn't mind me setting him up with Lydia as a little revenge right? Your jaw dropped.

Like I said Allison, you recovered yourself, I don't care about liars. Or who they go to this stupid winter formal with.

You did care. Like a stupid idiot, you cared very deeply about who stupid liars went to the goddamn winter formal with.

8.

It was the day of the stupid winter formal and Lydia and Allison had to drag you out of bed. They wouldn't take no for an answer. They also wouldn't take, get the fuck out and I'm going to punch you guys as answers either.

They dressed you up like a doll, despite your protest of having no date.

Don't worry sweetheart, I found you a date, Lydia replied.

You wished she wasn't so well prepared.

They finished and you had to admit, you looked fucking great. A sneaky part of you hoped Stiles would see you.

Shaking that thought off you drove Lydia to the dance, Allison having already been picked up by Jackson.

Arriving at the function, you had just parked when a gigantic blue jeep pulled up right next to you. You've got to be fucking kidding.

Stiles and you climbed out at the same time, yet the boy didn't even realize it was you until you made your way behind the cars.

Fuck, she's beautiful, was his first thought.

Your first thought was, this goddamn idiot can't park for shit.

You look really beautiful. And Lydia you also look pretty.

Lydia scoffed as you said, You can't park for shit.

Thank you, he said not taking a beat.

There he is, Lydia said, pointing to a tall guy in a tux. He had soft brown curls and a sheepish smile. He was cute, you had to admit.

You walked over to your date and introduced yourself, eager to leave Stiles' puppy dog eyes.

Yeah, I know who you are. I'm Issac. Issac Lahey.

Nice to meet you Issac, you said looking back to see if Stiles was watching, he was.

You hugged the boy for show and then suggested heading inside.

Issac was truly nice and you were having a fun time. But still, you couldn't help but search for Stiles in the crowd.

What happened between you guys, Issac asked, spooking you from your longing.

He lied to me about something serious.

Judging from the way that he also won't stop looking over here, I think it's safe to say he regrets it.

He's not looking over here, is he?

Every time you look away, he looks back. It's like you guys are agents or something. The push-pull is insane. My feelings should be hurt, but this is more painful to watch.

I should talk to him, shouldn't I?

Only if he apologizes the second you get over there, Issac laughed out.

I'm sorry, you deserve a lot better, you told him.

Maybe, but if I were you, I would do the same thing. Just make me a promise.

Anything.

When you see me in the halls, say hi. Or if we have a class where we can pick seats, and he isn't there, sit by me. We could be friends, and I really would like to be.

This time you hugged him because you wanted to, Of course, Issac. You really are nice and very cute. I'd love to be your friend, we can exchange numbers in class or something.

Yeah, I'd appreciate that.

With that, you made your way over to Stiles' who had just been abandoned by Lydia.

His eyes bulged as you made your way to stand in front of him. Get up.

He was quick to obey, but nervous to speak.

Wanna dance?

Yes, he breathed out, taking hold of your outstretched hand.

The pair of you walked onto the dance floor, getting into slow dance positioning. His arms were hesitant once you waist, as you encircled yours around his neck. You looked at each other for some time before he broke the silence.

I'm sorry for lying to you. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't even know if you wanted to know. I know you shouldn't have known. Knowing is what caused you to be at the school. God, you were in so much danger for nothing. I'm sorry.

As he spoke, Stiles' hands tightened their grip. Please forgive me. I miss you. I miss you so much. Can we please just be friends again?

Promise not to withhold any more vital secrets?

Pinkie swear, cross my heart, and hope to die.

I missed you too, you admit.

His smile grew wide, Really?

Of course, genius. You're pretty cool to be around.

The two of you dance for the rest of the song until Jackson breaks the moment. Have you guys seen Lydia?

That sends you three into a manhunt for the strawberry blonde. You luck out when you go searching outside, seeing her figure illuminated by the lacrosse field lights. You call out her name and she meets you halfway.

I thought I saw Jackson.

Jackson's looking for you, with Stiles and I. Come inside, it's freezing out here.

No, I swear I saw somebody.

It's then that you notice, that you see someone else too. Lurking beyond the treeline. Goosebumps find your arms once again, and you can't deny that their cause isn't the chill in the air. It's the werewolf. He's here.

Lydia, we have to get inside, now!

The two of you try to run, but the man/werewolf is in front of you in an instant. He grabs Lydia and slices her in the stomach before launching her body into the air. It slams onto the ground as you hear Stiles in the distance begging for you to run. But you can't. That's Lydia he might have killed.

Not carrying a weapon, you use what you have, your fist. It connects with the dude's cheek but he seems unfazed as his claws plung through your dress and into your abdomen.

Pain blossoms through your body, your muscles on fire while they are torn apart.

LET HER GO!

Stiles skids to a stop, just in time to catch your falling body as the werewolf lets go. Blood bubbles up, staining the dress and Stiles' hands as he tries to put pressure on the wound.

You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay, he chants like a prayer, more for himself than you. This was his worst nightmare.

Doesn't look that way to me, the werewolf remarks. Then he crouches down to be level with you two. He listens as both heartbeats skyrocket at his presence, fear radiating off them both. But different kinds of fear, both over the same reason, your life. This should be interesting. He takes his claws out again, and you gasp, moving closer into Stiles' arms. Where's Derek?

I don't know!

The werewolf hears Stiles' heart skip a beat, You're lying.

He moves to grab your throat. claws ready to puncture through your skin. Let's try this again, where is Derek?

Stiles panics, I'm not sure! I have an idea but it's not 100%.

Well, if you want your pretty little girlfriend to live, then you're going to take me to him. The werewolf hears the boy's heart skip a beat again.

Taunting him, he continues, You really like her, don't you. Better hurry up before she bleeds out on the field. Though she would make a pretty corpse, wouldn't she.

Stiles locks eyes with you, worried that if he leaves, you really will die on this field.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. Go. Please.

The boy reluctantly places you on the grass and goes to walk with Peter. It takes everything in him not to run back to you and stay with you. He can't even let himself look back at your crumpled form, because his resolve would shatter, and then you really would die.

You don't make a move to stand until after his body has disappeared into the trees. You manage to stand as Jackson calls out for you. You take a couple of steps before blacking out. This time, Stiles isn't there to catch you.

9.

Stiles instead finds you at the hospital, struggling to breathe on your own,, hooked up to various tubes and machines. As if his heart could take anymore.

It's then that his dad calls out his name. He only has time to face him before the older male slams him into the windows of your hospital room. The glass vibrates at the intensity, but Sherif Stilinski's voice booms louder, Where were you? What happened to these girls?

They were attacked Dad. I didn't do it, I swear. Come on, you know I would never hurt her like this.

And the Sheriff does know because you literally are the girl of his dreams. Always has been. The man calms down, wrapping his arms around his son, Are you alright?

I'm fine. Is she?

Whatever attacked her, cut her pretty deep. Same with Lydia, plus both girls are having an allergic reaction. Maybe venom in the claws but I'm not sure what kind of animal could have venom and wal on land to attack them this way.

Stiles can't tell his dad that it's not venom. Can't tell his dad that their bodies are rejected by the werewolf curse that's now been placed upon them. Can't tell his dad that now you're really fucked. Can't tell his dad that his best friend is missing. Wait?

Has Scott been by?

No, he's MIA as well.

Which means that Stiles is pretty sure he knows where to find the boy. Maybe he can convince Scott to stay a werewolf for your sake. Beg for your life. Anything to spare you from what Scott has been through. Anything for you.

When Peter asked if Stiles wanted the bite, he had a moment to think of how his life would change. He would have the strength to protect you, speed for lacrosse, and be able to tell if people were lying which could help his dad on cases. Yet, he still denied it.

Maybe he should have accepted. Would it be easier if you both were werewolves?

10.

After Peter had been successfully killed, Stiles wasted no time rushing back to the hospital. He wanted to be there for when you first opened your eyes. Hug you and tell you how sorry he was. Tell you how Peter had been killed so you would be safe.

But your body still was fighting, and his hopes were dwindling by the second. There was no cure. If you turned, you turned. But also if you didn't turn, you died.

The thought had him on the verge of tears, which began their descent down his cheeks when you squeezed his hand.

Looking to your eyes he saw them flutter open. He helped take the breathing machine off your face, so you could talk. Yet he jumped ahead, I'm so sorry.

It's okay Stiles, I'm fine, you croaked out, totally not sounding fine.

Do you feel magically healed? he asked through tears. You just gave him a look of confusion, so he continued, Do you feel fine as in you could run 10 laps?

Definitely not, why?

He cut you pretty deep.

I know, I can feel it, you deadpanned. What was he not saying?

You don't get it. You can turn into a werewolf from the bite, or if the claws go deep enough.

Your heart rate monitor spikes and Stiles feels his do the same.

Oh god, am I turning into a werewolf?

Stiles offers what little comfort he can, I'm not sure. But at least you'll have Scott and I to help you through it. You'll be alright.

That settles you slightly but leaves Stiles with a pinched heart. Cause, he is sure that you'll be fine. And doesn't want to tell you that you only have two unsavory options. Death or the supernatural.

All that is he 100% certain of, is that he will do anything to make sure that you live as peacefully and happily as possible. So if that means withholding the truth now and suffering for it later, so be it. Because if he suffers for this later, then it's because you're alive and healthy enough to argue with him.

****

A/N: omfg this took me all day- but it was fun I can't lie. let me know if you want a part two or something like a season two version with the same pairing! love you all and thank you for reading!

[vipwinnie]

Love letters

Lorenzo Berkshire x reader

Summary : Someone keep sending you Love letters

Words : 1k

It all started a few weeks ago when I found a love letter in my locker.

This morning I opened my locker as usual to pick up my belongings, but I was surprised to find a love letter written for me.

My love,

I can't help thinking about you every day. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. Your beauty inside and out leaves me speechless. Every time I'm with you, I feel alive and happy. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how important you are to me. I'm lucky to have you in my life and I can't wait to spend every moment with you. You're the person I've always been looking for, my soul mate. I love you more than anything in the world. With all my love

X

I couldn't help but smile as I read every sweet word and felt the delicate fragrance that emanated from it. The letter was not signed, which made the situation even more mysterious.

At first, I thought it was a joke from my friends, but when I looked closer, I realized that the letter was serious. My heart began to beat faster as I read the sweet words written on the letter. I was both moved and intrigued. Who could have written that letter? Is it someone I know? Or is he a secret admirer?

After you get your things back, you'll go to Hermione and tell her everything.

- Hi Hermione, you'll never guess what happened to me today.

_ Hi Y/N, what happened?

-I found a love letter in my locker this morning.

- A love letter? Oh wow, who wrote it?

-I have no idea. That's what makes it even more mysterious.

- What does the letter say?

-She was very sweet and romantic. She said how beautiful and smart I am and how much that person would like to spend more time with me.

- That's so romantic! But how are you going to find out who wrote the letter?

-I don't know yet, but I'll investigate. I'll look for clues and see if I can find people who are behaving strangely around me. Hermione: -You must be so romantic, a secret admirer. I'm sure you'll find out who he is.

-I hope so. But it's also kind of scary to think someone's looking at me without me knowing it.

- I understand. But I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll find out who that person is. In the meantime, enjoy the attention!

- Thank you, Hermione. I'll keep you apprised of my progress in the investigation.

So I went to my classroom .

The next morning you were once again going to get your belongings , and once again you had the joy of finding a letter .

Dear Y/N,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you how much I'm in love with you. Ever since the day I met you, I haven't stopped thinking about you. You have illuminated my life with your presence and you have become the most important person to me. I admire your beauty, your kindness, your intelligence and your strength. You inspire me to be a better person every day. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and that I would do anything for you. If you accept my feelings, I promise to cherish you and take care of you for the rest of my life.

With all my love,

X

I then began to pay more attention to the people around me. I noticed a boy who always seemed to look at me in a strange way. It was a snake from my DADA class, Lorenzo I think. I started to wonder if he was writing me those letters. I began to observe him discreetly, looking for clues about his behavior and habits. He was sitting behind me in class.

And as the days went by I began to cross her gaze a lot whether it was in class or even in the big hall At first, it made me uncomfortable, but the more I saw him, the more I began to wonder why he was staring at me so much. As the days went by , I kept getting so many letters . One day, after class, I decided to talk to him. I approached him and asked him if he needed help with anything. He blushed a little and stuttered before telling me he just wanted to get to know each other. We started talking and I discovered that we had a lot in common. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship and maybe even a crush.

Dear Y/N

I can't hide my feelings for you anymore. Ever since I met you, you're the only person that matters to me. I think about you all the time, and every moment I spend with you is a moment of intense happiness. I wanted to write you this letter to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You're the most important person to me, and I can't imagine my life without you. I'd like to offer you something. If you don't mind, I'd like to set you up somewhere. I don't want to pressure you, but I really wish we could spend some time together, just you and me. If you say yes, I suggest you meet us this Saturday afternoon at 2:00 p. m. , underneath the tree by the lake. We could walk, talk and maybe even have a picnic together. I understand that you may have doubts or fears, but I want you to know that I will do anything for you. I look forward to seeing you Saturday afternoon.

I love you more than anything in the world.

with all my love

X

Oh, my God, that was a surprise. My secret admirer had just given an appointment. Were I going to go? Of course.

I waited all morning impatiently . Who could it be? asked you

When it was finally time, I didn’t waste a minute and left almost running towards the meeting place. I finally slow down when you get close to the place .

And there was Lorenzo Berkshire, the stytherin was near the tree, waiting for you

You're going to join him

He then explained to me that since the beginning of the year, he had feelings for me but he didn't dare tell me. The love letters were his way of showing me how much he cared about me. I was touched by his sincerity and realized that I had feelings for him, too. We started seeing each other and being together. 

[whitedarkmoonflower]

You are good

Pairing: Sihtric x reader (female)

Authors note: I refuse all responsibility for this and blame @foxyanon and this post for planting this idea into my head. I think you will recognise your quotes. 😅

Warnings: SMUT 18+

Word Count: 3,3 K

Tags: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @hb8301 @zillahvathek @alexagirlie @gemini-mama @verenahx @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @willowbrookesblog @thenameswinter99 @ellabellabus07 @mcbuckyyyy @kirtseinw

If you want to be added to or removed from the tag list - write to me.

Uhtred's tail, you had silently dubbed him. "Yes, lord" and "No, lord" were nearly the only phrases to escape his lips. Most of the time, he seemed to vanish, only to reappear as if conjured by a magic wand at the mere sound of his name, his head tucked into his shoulders, hunched forward, eyes fixed on the ground, avoiding any direct gaze. Horses need to be readied – Sihtric will do that. Not enough wood for the fire – he’s already gone searching. Pretty face and large, alerted eyes. Suspicious eyes.

You didn’t trust him. Uhtred apparently did, but your brother had always had a far too big and soft heart, he tried to hide behind his loud talk about destiny and honour. So, you kept a watchful eye on Sihtric.

You saw him conversing with the horses in hushed, gentle tones, telling them about his day, treating them as if they were his best friends, meticulously brushing their backs. You witnessed him sitting in the darkness, far from the reach of the fire's flickering light, leaning against a tree or a cart, his form curled up, arms wrapped around his legs, chin resting on his knees. He would startle at the sound of raucous, drunken laughter piercing the air. You noticed him shudder when his name was called,  jumping to his feet as if he'd been bitten by a venomous snake, and wince when someone unexpectedly placed a hand on his shoulder.

But you saw other things as well. You observed him reach into his saddlebag, generously distributing all his provisions to the beggars who sat at the city gates as you entered Winchester. You saw him remove the silver ring recently bestowed upon him by Uhtred, gifting it to a small, emaciated boy whom he had caught attempting to steal his pouch just moments earlier. You even saw him step in and kick out a drunkard from the alehouse, who was about to take a swing at the serving girl.

"Here, have a drink," you offered him a mug, settling down beside him. He flinched and looked up at you in surprise. A hesitant smile graced Sihtric's lips as he accepted the drink from you, his eyes filled with warmth and gratitude. That's how it all began – your quiet chats away from the noisy laughter and banter by the fireplaces. You were just plain curious and cautious, or so you kept telling yourself. You wanted to learn more about the reserved and timid warrior in your brother’s service. And with each moment, each story he shared as he gradually opened up to you, revealing bits and pieces from his life, your fascination with him never wavered.

Your own path hadn't been a walk in the park either. You'd lost everything except your brother. You both survived that Danish assault, but life played a cruel trick on you, and you didn't luck out like Uhtred who found a new family. Fate turned you into a warrior, fueled by anger, rage, and an unquenchable thirst for revenge. Sometimes, it felt like your heart stopped beating the day the Danes yanked you from your old life, leaving you with an empty, pitch-black hole in your chest. It changed when you reunited with Uhtred. It was like you finally fit into this world again, and your brother's love warmed your heart. Yet, in the quiet of the night, when you were alone with your thoughts, that dark hole in your chest still haunted you, making you wonder if you were really alive.

And now, you'd crossed paths with someone whose journey had been even more rocky as yours, whose soul seemed like an open, bleeding wound. But within him, there still was a warmth that felt like it could rekindle the spark of life within your own heart too.

—----------------------------------------------------

"What a pretty thing!" the guard sneered, his fingers digging into the flesh of your cheeks as he pulled you closer, his foul breath assaulting your senses. It had been your fault; your recklessness had landed both you and Sihtric in this grimy dungeon. But not a single word of reproach had escaped Sihtric's lips. You had a sense that rescue might be on the horizon, as the boy who had been with you had escaped and was likely delivering the news to Uhtred. However, for the moment, you were stuck here.

"Don't touch her!" Sihtric hissed, his voice quivering with anger as he swatted the guard's hand away from you.

"What the hell! Hold that rat for me," the guard grumbled, turning his attention away from you, while the other two forcibly twisted Sihtric's arms behind his back. You winced as the first blow landed on Sihtric's face, jerking his head to the side, followed by another and another. Not a sound escaped his lips as he stared back at the guard, his eyes burning with pure hatred.

Another punch, this time aimed at Sihtric's abdomen, caused him to double over with a grunt, gasping for air. The guards released him, and Sihtric's knees and hands crumpled to the ground. A heavy leather boot struck his stomach, sending him sprawling. Arms defensively wrapped around his head, Sihtric writhed on the floor, convulsing under the brutal onslaught that was shattering his body.

"I hope this serves as a valuable lesson, you filthy heathen. Next time, think before you open your mouth," one of the guards spat, then turned to leave, motioning for the others to follow suit.

"What was that? Are you out of your mind?" you whispered sharply to Sihtric, rushing to his side and kneeling beside him to assess the damage. His nose was bleeding, and his lip and eyebrow were cut. Gently, you placed his arm around your shoulders, wrapping your arm around his waist as you helped him back on his feet and guided him towards a heap of straw in the corner of the cell. He sank heavily onto it, leaning his back and head against the wall.

"At least they got distracted," he shuddered, shoulders quivering, spitting blood and wiping his chin with his sleeve.

"That was incredibly foolish of you. It seems you don't have any broken ribs, but it could have turned out much worse," you tore the lower edge of your tunic and reached out to clean the blood from Sihtric's face with the makeshift rag.

"It's not too high a price to pay if it keeps their attention off you," Sihtric replied, raising his eyes, and for perhaps the first time, your gazes consciously met. "Besides, I'm used to it," he added, a sad smile playing on his lips.

"I can handle myself," you hissed, but your eyes were brimming with gratitude, while Sihtric merely shrugged his shoulders, wincing when your fingers touched his split lip.

—---------------------------------------

Your blood ran hot, adrenaline surging through your veins, a loud thump of your heart in your ears. Your senses sharpened to an almost painful degree as it seemed you could hear the trampled grass beneath your feet crying out. Your fingers clenched tightly around the shaft of your axe, tracing every line and wrinkle carved into the wood, as you melded seamlessly with your weapon, becoming an extension of your arm. There was no escape from the thick, intoxicating scent of blood that hung in the air, clinging to your clothes, seeping through your skin, intensifying the thrill. You sank to your knees, using the shaft of your axe for support, the taste of iron and ashes lingering in your mouth.

"Are you injured?" you flinched at the touch on your shoulder, raising your head only to see Sihtric quickly retract his hand.

Today was the first time you had witnessed him in battle, his eyes ablaze with excitement, his body a coiled spring of taut muscles, moving with purpose and precision. He resembled a young wolf on the hunt, thrilled by his own strength and agility, seamlessly blending with the chaos around him.

A brief, lingering gaze at the young Dane fighting alongside you had cost you dearly. A sudden swing of an axe caught you off guard, your step back too hurried and unsteady, causing you to lose your balance and tumble, releasing your own weapon. The stench of death filled your nostrils, the axe poised in the air, ready to strike, etching itself into your senses as you desperately fumbled to find something to counter the blow.

Too late, a single thought pierced your mind as you watched the blade descend, moving so agonisingly slow that it felt as if time itself had altered its pace just to mock you. A clank of metal and a scorching splatter of blood across your face brought the world back to its normal tempo, as the lifeless body of a red-faced Dane thudded to the ground beside you. A hand reached out, and you grasped it, allowing it to yank you back onto your feet. You met the piercing gaze of two mismatched eyes, filled with anxiety and something more, something profound and indescribable, yet so intense that it sent shivers down your spine. There was no time for words as you both were drawn back into the intricate dance of life and death surrounding you.

"I'm fine," you growled, breathing heavily, your body trembling as you pushed yourself upright with the aid of the axe's shaft. A deep ache surged through your tired muscles. You seized Sihtric's hand, which hung hesitantly in the air, and pulled him along with you, striding towards the trees at the edge of the clearing. He followed, eyes wide with surprise but offering no resistance.

You plunged into the forest, not stopping until the battlefield's clearing had long vanished from view, leaving behind all its chaotic sounds. Silence, you needed silence—to quiet your racing mind. 

A startled crow fluttered away, its caw echoing through the trees and your ears. Coming to a halt, you turned to face the utterly bewildered gaze of Sihtric. Pushing him against the nearest tree trunk, your fingers frantically fumbled with the laces of his breeches.

"What... what are you doing?" he gasped, as your hand slipped inside his pants.

"Feeling alive," you whispered, a mischievous smile appearing on your lips as you felt his cock hardening under your touch. 

You had grown tired of those lingering glances and deep sighs, of him becoming more like your shadow than even Uhtred's. You had had enough of his trembling fingers and flushed cheeks, his hand brushing against yours when you passed him an ale mug, and the way he held his breath when you sat beside him, your thighs touching. 

You wanted him, and you were aware that he craved for you just as intensely. You could feel his blood running hot at this very moment, just as yours did. You had seen it in his eyes, in that brief, fleeting moment after he helped you back to your feet, and you didn't want to wait any longer. You knew him too well by now to realise he wouldn't make the first move, so you had to be the one.

"I... I can't... we can't... Oh, damn it...," Sihtric stammered, a loud, almost desperate moan escaping his lips as you pulled down his breeches, freeing his already fully hard cock,  wrapping your hand around it and giving it a few slow, teasing strokes. 

“Don’t tell me you haven’t been dreaming about this. I’m not blind. I can see how you look at me,” you purred, biting your lower lip, while your hand kept moving. 

"I... Oh gods, fuck... You're Uhtred's sister, and I... I... He'll kill me if..." The words caught in Sihtric's throat, his breathing quickening and growing more erratic, his hands balling into fists as your fingers moved to the tip of his pulsing shaft, collecting the precum and spreading it along its length.

“You just saved my life,” you murmured, going down on your knees before him and licking your lips at the sight of Sihtric’s long and thick, perfectly formed cock, tip slightly red and dripping, “and I haven’t even thanked you for stepping in that time in the dungeon.” 

Feeling Sihtric's entire body tense, you glanced up at him from beneath your lashes, savouring the sight of him. Head thrown back, eyes closed, breathing shallow and ragged, he leaned heavily against the tree, his arms hanging somewhat awkwardly by his sides. You were surprised that he still hadn't made a move to touch you.

"This isn't your first time, is it?" you suddenly inquired, raising an eyebrow. You smiled as Sihtric vigorously shook his head. "Good. Then you know what to expect, don't you? You know how good it feels," you teased him, pressing your mouth to his upper thigh, trailing a path with your tongue and placing soft, wet kisses on his naked skin. Sihtric exhaled sharply, but didn’t answer.

“Talk to me,” you ordered, giving a teasing, quick lick to the tip of his cock.

“Aaahhh, y-yes,” Sihtric whimpered, gasping for air, pressing both his palms against the tree.

“But you said, we couldn't do this. Have you changed your mind?” you asked, your tone taunting. “Tell me, do you want me to take you in my mouth? Do you want to feel my lips around you?” you circled his tip with your tongue, your hand jerking him, so teasingly slowly. You could tell you were driving him mad by the way, his breathing was picking up with each gentle lap of your wet and hot tongue and each movement of your hand.

You were aware that you were a brat, torturing him, testing his self-control, but you wanted to know how long he could hold back.You had seen his eyes glint with passion and fervour on the battlefield and you wanted to see them glint the same now. You wanted him to lose his composure and fully surrender to the pleasure you were eager to offer. 

"I don't hear you," you pulled back and released your hold on him, causing Sihtric to whine in frustration. 

“Yes, yes… fuck, by the gods… I… I want it … I want you…,” he breathed, a mortified look on his pretty face, his cheeks crimson, “I have wanted you since the first moment I saw you. You are so beautiful and so … so strong, but … fuck, ahhh, please, please touch me,” he whined. 

“Ask me nicely,” you purred, moving your mouth back closer to his throbbing cock.

“Please, just touch me again. Please, I need you …,” Sihtric begged, his voice shaky, a slight desperation creeping in it. He was finally looking down at you as he reached out, cupping your chin with his rough tattooed fingers, his thumb gliding over your lips, eyes darkening with lust and longing. 

You kept your gaze locked with him as you bit your bottom lip and wrapped your fingers around his  length again.

“Good, you are such a good boy. Just relax and enjoy. Can you do that for me, handsome? I want you to feel good,” you purred, a satisfied smile on your lips as you heard Sihtric gasp and whimper at your touch.

Sihtric moaned loudly as your lips closed around the tip of his cock, your tongue lapping at it teasingly, and then you moved up taking him in your mouth almost completely. You sucked gently at first, then harder, relishing the soft whines and moans rolling over Sihtric’s lips as your head started to move up and down his length, your palm firmly around the base, stroking the part that didn’t fit in. 

Sihtric’s hands were in your hair, not pulling or tugging, just holding on to you, gently and carefully, his trembling fingers caressing you, brushing your hair out of your face. He looked so sweet trying to keep his eyes on you, trying to keep still. You moaned, feeling his grip in your hair tensing, as you fastened your movements, wrapping your lips even tighter around his cock, watching him lose his uneven struggle. It didn’t take long for him to become a whimpering, moaning mess, his hips thrusting forward, eyes half lid, breath heavy and panting as he finally lost himself in the pleasure your mouth was giving him.

“It feels so good…,” he moaned, as his hips started to move faster, fucking your mouth harder and deeper, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he chased his release, the grip of his fingers in your hair tightening, “I’m close… aaahhh, I can’t take it much longer! Slow down… stop … please, let me … ” he whined through his panting breath, looking down at you questioningly, but you kept sucking him like your life would depend on it, tears bursting into the corners of your eyes, moaning lewdly your mouth stuffed with his cock as your core throbbed in burning need for him. 

You loved the desperate, wanton sounds rolling over his lips, the sight of him falling apart, all shaky and whiny, his limbs starting to tremble, because you made him feel so good, because you had this power over him. You and only you!  You didn’t let go of him, didn’t allow him to pull out and after a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock twitched in your mouth, his head snapped back and with a loud moan Sihtric was spilling down your throat, cursing under his breath.

“Oh gods… fuck…,”  Sihtric looked down at you, breathing heavily and slumping his back against the tree. You let him come down from his high, sucking gently and letting your tongue slide over his sensitive tip, making him moan and twitch a few more times. 

Breath panting, Sihtric reached out to you, pulling you off your knees into his embrace as he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, his fingers gently brushing through your hair.

"I...," he began.

"Shh, don't speak," you interrupted him, leaning into his embrace and listening to his racing heartbeat beneath your ear. "Can you hear it?" you asked, placing your hand on his chest. "It's beating; you are alive. Isn't it wonderful to be alive?"

A deep sigh escaped Sihtric as he continued to hold you to his chest, his body quivering slightly. "Why are you so good to me?" he finally asked, cupping your face with his hands and lifting it to meet his questioning gaze.

"Because you are good, Sihtric," you whispered. "I have seen the goodness in you, I have felt it, and I want to be a part of it. I want to be yours."

"You want to be mine?" The surprise in Sihtric's voice was evident, his large, beautiful eyes reflecting the disbelief that his tone betrayed. He couldn't bring himself to believe it. After a lifetime of being resented and despised for who he was, he simply couldn't accept what you were saying.

"Yes, I do. Do you want to be mine?" you asked, taken aback by the quiver in your own voice. The silence lingered in the air as you awaited his response. You had finally found him, a man you were certain you wanted in your life not just for fleeting moments of pleasure but for a lifetime. Someone you had come to admire and wished to care for, someone from whom you wanted to receive care. His kindness and inner strength had captured your heart in an unexpected way. You felt certain that in Sihtric you had found a man who possessed the strength and warmth to fill that dark void in your chest.

"I'm already yours," Sihtric murmured, "I'm yours. I've always been yours," he repeated more resolutely, leaning in to capture your lips in the gentlest and most tender of kisses. Without breaking the kiss, Sihtric spun you around, pressing your body against the tree, and a soft gasp escaped your lips as you felt his already firm arousal pressing against your thigh.

"If you are mine, then I'm allowed to make you feel good too," he purred. "Will you be a good girl for me?" he asked, his bashful smile turning into a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he went down on his knees before you.

[calypsocolada]

213 DAYS | f. dostoevsky

(click here for part two)

synopsis: you seek out a demons help not realizing just how long he’s waited for you.

authors note: LOL this was completely out of left feild. I binged bungo stray dogs in less than a month and CANNOT stop thinking about this man (and every other character) who would definitely manipulate me to death. LOL anyways enjoy this mess, i didn’t have much of a plan just kinda wrote.

cw: suggestive, soft!fyodor, lovesick!fyodor (he’s literally obsessed with you), manipulative, fluff, making out, cussing, plot convenience lol

wc: 3.9k

————————————————————————————————————————

Your hands were shaking terribly so you clenched them tighly as you followed a guard down a long, long hallway. It’s lights sickly, everything looked the same, the doors, windows, ceilings and flooring. All without a single identifiable difference. You took a steadying breath as the guard a few feet in front of you slowed. He turned slightly to talk to you over his shoulder.

“No one comes to visit this guy, your the first since he’s been here.” He says. You knew a lot about said prisoner. A bit of a complicated past, very, very complicated. “He doesn’t have any existing family, or so I’ve heard.” You could tell with the way this guard was talking he was sweet on the prisoner. That didn’t surprise you, the man you were about to see for the first time in months had a lot of things under his belt. He was manipulative, he could trick the soul right out of your body. The guard rounded one last corner and you knew which padded cell was his. Your hands shook even worse as the guard approached the door.

“I’m sure you know how dangerous he is.” The guard starts as you give him a sharp look.

“I do. Do you?” He looked caught, like the jig was up. He cleared his throat.

“Of course, ma’am. Our city thanks you for capturing him.”

“Just open the door. Oh and,” you take a step towards the guard. “Whatever he’s promised you, I advise you to not take it, or you’ll have me to deal with.” You threaten, the guard's eyes go wide as he slowly nods his head. “Good boy.”

The doors swung open and you saw him just mere feet away, locked tight in the middle of a room.

Fyodor.

There were countless scraps of paper littering the white walls. A various drawings of you. You walked forwards, eyes catching each piece. He started to not remember your face after some time so on some papers there were just hazy outlines but you knew it was you.

Your heart sped like crazy, his sharp snake like eyes met yours and a wicked grin spread across his lips. HIs eyes dragged every inch of your body, probably thinking this was a once in a lifetime visit and he had to memorize your features all over again. He told you you’d come back to him someday, you didn’t think it’d be so damn soon.

All alone the giant room seemed small. You walked forwards, feeling all sorts of things, sickness and anxiousness from seeing Fyodor again. You’d been driven right into the hands of a demon. You could feel his grip beckoning you to come closer. A dangerous energy swirling. You'd felt that since you first met him, unexplainable and new.

“213 days was all it took for you to come back to me.” Fyodor greeted as you walked the distance towards him. He’d counted the days, it wouldn’t surprise you if he knew it all down to the second.

“That’s quite some time.” You answered and Fyodor cocked his head to the side just barely, coal black hair falling over his shoulder.

“It is, my love, too long if you ask me.”

“Not long enough.” You quipped. Fyodor’s eyes locked onto yours. He was devilishly handsome, whatever pull to him back then you still felt in the pit of your stomach when you were around him. Like a magnet or a string tied from you to him. Everywhere you went didn’t matter because it all led back to him. Something kept you thinking of him for those 213 days just the same as him.

“You say that but your eyes tell a different story.”

“Mhm, is it the same story you so crave for me to want.”

“You will want it in due time, my love, but until then a new story is being written.”

“What story is that?” You ask. Fyodor grinned, eyes lighting.

“Well, the story of us.”

“It looks a lot like a tragedy.” You said and Fyodor sighed, amused with your comebacks.

“Now it does, but that’s just the first act. Can’t have a resolution so early on.” He’d wave off if he could. He was currently in a straight jacket, chained to the floor beneath him. He was a dangerous man and this was the only way to keep him from trouble.

“You’re smart, I’m sure you know why I’m here.” You say, you were now mere feet from him, his coal back hair looked like silk, his red crimson eyes looking up at you with something like amusement. You knew he was going to play dumb just for the sake of you talking more to him.

“I’m sorry, you might have to catch me up.” You needed his help and there was little Fyodor wanted in this word, but the biggest, most glaring thing he wanted was you. He’d been infatuated the moment he saw you fighting alongside the detective agency, he’d even foiled some of his comrades plans just to make sure you weren’t hurt in the process. Still, he was a highly dangerous criminal and should be treated as such. You needed to remember that. You slowly sat on the chair across from him.

“Dazai’s been captured and has been missing for three days now. The kidnappers have given us a week. If they were smart enough to trick Dazai they’re well over our heads. I’ve exhausted every avenue, I can’t sleep, I’m scared they’re going to kill him. I'm alone in all of this. If anyone is close to Dazai’s level it’s you.” You explained, Fyodor’s face morphed into something you hadn’t seen much except in your loved ones faces. He looked worried. “What is it?” You asked, scared that he knew something you didn’t and that he couldn’t help you, this was really a last resort.

“You haven’t been sleeping?” Fyodor asked, genuinely concerned. Your lips parted in surprise.

“What?” Was all you could say, he’d surprised you.

“How long have you not slept, my love?”

“That’s- that’s not what’s important here, Fyodor.” You dismissed.

“That’s what’s important to me. How long?” He asks, a bit more commanding this time.

“I- I don’t know. Two days at least.” You answer. Fyodor’s face goes serious.

“I will help, but you will not. You will sleep.”

“We’re working this together. Faster you solve the faster I can sleep.” You counter, wondering if this really was the only stipulation he needed in exchange for his help.

“Deal, we should get started at once.” He says, hastily working something behind his back until suddenly his damn straight jacket clicks and falls to the floor. You gasp, shocked. He could’ve broken out of that this whole time. You wondered what other measures put in place to keep him here were really just laughable to him. If he could escape so easily why hadn’t he before now? Was he really just waiting all this time for you to come back to him?

“That’s- that’s it?” You stutter as Fyodor stands, holding a hand out to you to take.

“Your precious company is more than enough to repay me for my services.” He beams and you know he means it. You're not sure what is it about you that has him to utterly captivated, whether it's all a lie and a part of some plan of if he really, truly cares for you.

Cautiously you take his hand and gently he pulls you to your feet, tugging you against his chest, long white fingers tucking hair behind your ear.

“You’re still as beautiful as the day I met you.” He says and you feel a traitorous blush creep across your cheeks. His eyes look hazy this close, you could feel on hand ghosting your cheek and another around your back. "Now, listen closely love, I own three out of four of the guards outside my door, plus the warden. You use those powers of yours on the last one and we can escape peacefully." He says, hands sliding off your body as he knocks a serious of knocks on the door, most likely some sort of code. Your mouth drops open.

"You what?" You burst out. He really was just relaxing here, not confined at all. Fyodor cocks his head at you, confused as though he hadn't just told you he practially owns the prison.

"I like to play games, dear, you know that. As long as I'm back in the morning no one will know." He says. Your jaw ticks as you strut across the floor, closing the distance between you two. You grab him by the front of the shirt.

"I'm not bringing you back here just so you can break free behind my back!" You growl, he looks at you as though you claimed the stars in the sky.

"I'm quite content here for now, but here, I'll make you a deal." He offers as you furrow your brows.

"A deal?" You echo and he nods his head. You let go of the front of his shirt.

"You visit me once a month and I'll stay put."

"You're crazy." You breath out, but the conviction on his face was real. He'd rather see you once a month than be free. It was fucking insane. You bit your lip in contemplation. "You give me the names of every worker here under your payroll as well." You say and he instantly nods his head.

"Do we have a deal?" He holds out his hand for you to take, and for the second time today, you take it. His cold hand envelopes yours, fingers gripping you gently as a smile spreads across his lips.

"We gotta go." You say and Fyodor nods his head.

"Swipe your card and put the guard with the blond hair to sleep." Fyodor says and you nod. You do as told, the door sliding open. There were four guards, three with dark hair and one women with blond hair. She looks up and smiles when you walked out. You smile back.

"Sleep." The power drips from your voice and the other guards are startled when the girl falls to the floor snoring lightly. They jump up, guns at the ready.

"Gun's down," Fyodor directs coldly, walking out behind you. The guards do exactly as told.

"Sorry, boss." The guard from earlier says, eyes meeting yours. You felt like an idiot, warning him earlier to watch himself around Fyodor and now here you were aiding his escape.

"We're going on a little date, keep things quiet while I'm gone." Fyodor says as the guards salute to him. You stroll out of the prison, Fyodor a step behind you.

“If you had an ounce of malice in your body you could destroy anyone that you ever came across, you know.” Fyodor said when you loaded into your car, the look in his eyes like a kid looking at their favorite superhero. Like he truly admired you. You had a hard time believing that but he was here and if he tried anything you could shut it down with your powers quite quickly. You had the power to control anyone with just your words. You were the one who captured him all those months ago, you could do it again.

“You're over estimating me.” You say as you turn down a backstreet that led towards the agency. Everyone else was out on various tasks, you were on this job alone. Everybody else just assumed he’d find a way to save himself, you didn’t like taking that chance. Dazai had saved you millions of times and you’d try your hardest to repay him.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself, dear, your agency friends would agree. You could be completely devastating.” Fyodor says as you roll your eyes.

“Well you must all be so lucky.” You wave off, pulling into the agency. You met Fyodor at the front of the car. Giving him a serious look.

“Don’t try anything, I really don’t wanna have to kill you.” You say tiredly, too tired to stop his hand from crossing the space between you two, tucking your hair out of your eyes. You freeze at the contact.

“To die by your hands would be bliss to me dear, but you won’t be rid of me yet.” He says, the look in his eyes like admiration, he looked at you the same way your father looked at your mother. It makes you feel unwanted things.

“When will I be rid of you?” You ask, but it was a loaded question and you weren’t sure what you meant. If you meant physically or mentally because you thought about him all the time when he was gone. Fyodor’s eyes slide down to yours, his hand lingering on your cheek.

“Dear, when we’re done here you’ll be begging me to stay.”

“In your dreams.” You challenged and he just smiled.

“Yes, those too.”

You swallowed and waved Fyodor forwards. As you walked, Fyodor turned to speak with you.

“You could’ve used your powers to bring me here.” Fyodor points out as though you didn’t know that.

“Yes, I could’ve.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Maybe I did, then I told you not to remember.” You jest.

“Oh dear, how I would love you to manipulate me. But alas you are nothing like me, but that’s what I like the most. The purest of intentions.”

You slide the key into the lock, pushing the door to the office open. Fyodor gives the place a once over as you lead him towards your desk.

You slide into your chair, taking out the letter that was sent to the agency about Dazai’s disappearance. Something you’ve looked at time and time again, it almost made you dizzy with exhaustion seeing it again.

Fyodor leans against your back, face close to yours as he reads the note over your shoulder. Your heart speeds at the contact. Fyodor’s hand slides down your shoulder to the note as he points to something.

“Dazai sent this himself.” Fyodor says quietly next to your ear. You snap your head to the side to look at him. He’s so close as he slowly slides his eyes to meet yours.

“What?” You force out.

“Look there, love,” you look at where his finger is pointing. It’s small so you bring the note just a little bit closer. A smile smiley face. You hadn’t noticed that before.

“What the hell?” You ask.

“Some letters are darker than the others, it reads out, ‘be back in two weeks, Dazai’.” You feel like a complete idiot. Anger builds fast in your chest. You rip the note in two and push yourself up from your desk.

“I just helped break a highly dangerous criminal out of a maximum security prison to find out Dazai’s on vacation.” You huff, falling back down into your chair. You hear a soft chuckle behind you. “Screw this.” You growled, storming out of the office towards your car. In your anger you totally forgot Fyodor but that didn’t matter because he followed you just a few steps behind. It was later in the day now, you were so tired and so angry as you stormed to your car. “Get in.” The power slipped into your words as Fyodor tripped over himself to get in the car, you hadn’t even noticed you did it, sometimes that happens when you lose control of your emotions. This was still so new to you. When you slipped in beside Fyodor, you pressed your head against the steering wheel, sighing heavily. “I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot.”

“Don’t say that, dear.”

“But it’s true. It took you seconds! I haven’t slept in days, searching that note night and day.” Frustration built in your chest as angry tears formed in your eyes.

“Dazai’s lucky to have a friend like you, someone who would lose sleep to help. Doesn’t matter how fast I figured it out, you would’ve gotten it out.”

“The note said a week till he was dead.”

“And you still had four days. Stop being so hard on yourself.” You slowly lifted your head off of the steering wheel, eyes fluttering to Fyodor’s. His voice was so calm, so non judgmental, it was messing with your head. You clear your throat.

“It’s too late to take you back now, we’ll have to go in the morning.” You say, trying to snap yourself out of whatever spell Fyodor was casting onto you. His face softens.

“Okay, dear.” He says, settling into the seat. You were hesitant bringing him to your home, he could kill you. But some stupid part of you thought differently of him, some part told you he wouldn’t hurt you. And that stupid part, driven by exhaustion had you driving back to your place, leading him inside and locking the door behind you too. You turned to him in the dim light of your hallway, his eyes shining red.

“Do I have to make you behave yourself?” You ask, the tightness of the hallway had you two quite close.

“You do whatever you like to me.” He whispered, his pale lips smirking in the dark. You swallow against the dryness in your throat, something tugs in your stomach. This was a terrible idea. The way he was looking at you was more dangerous than anything. The space between you both was barely existent. He was so tall, so handsome, all dark and magnetizing. You felt it all washing over you now. A invisible pull. A terrible turn. You let out a breath in your chest, eyes locking with his. Your hands had their own mind, reaching for the front of his shirt, his eyes watch over you. Your fingers knotted in his shirt and you stepped in his space. His lips parted. “Love, you’re crossing a line.” He whispers and you pause, drunk on something you weren’t sure of. Clearly you weren’t thinking straight but sobering up felt like going against yourself. It was strange.

“Should I stop?” You ask. His hand slides up your arm to tuck under your jaw, cold fingers pressing there.

“Never.” He says huskily. “But if you kiss me now then throw me in prison in the morning I’ll be quite hurt.” He jokes, his accent thickens. The air in your chest that you didn’t know you were holding exhales. You leaned into him and watched his eyes drift close, felt his body slack in anticipation. He was completely whipped, he was the one under your spell.

“You thought I was going to kiss you?” You ask, gaining a bit of attention back. Fyodor cocks his head just a bit, eyes fluttering open.

“You weren’t?” He asks, his lips slightly pouting. You grin sharply, slowly rocking on the tips of your toes to pull him down to your lips. A soft press, an answer. Something shoots through your body at the contact. You wanted this. You’ve wanted this since meeting him. He’d wanted the same. You pretended it away the best you could but you couldn’t fucking help it. He wasn’t a good person but he was to you. It was like he was two different people. One made for you. Fuck, you couldn’t help yourself any longer. Your hands dragged up into his hair, tangling. He groaned into your mouth, letting you walk him back into the front door, pressing your body against his, pinning him. You pulled back, kissing his jaw down to his neck, he whimpered at the contact, melting against your touch. “Love, you— you can’t,” he panted, unable to form a coherent sentence. Your cold hand slide under his shirt, feeling warmth beneath it, he gasped at your touch. His hands held you softly, as though you’d realize who you’d be kissing if he held you even tighter. But you knew who he was, what he’d done. But fuck it. You kissed him all over, his neck and jaw and cheeks and lips, you couldn’t stop. He shivered and his fingers slowly dig into the fat of your hips as he pulled you closer to him. He sighed, head falling to the side to give you better access. You kissed softly at his open throat and he made a low sound.

“I’ll show you to my room,” you whispered into his neck, hand sliding into his. When you went to tug him he didn’t move, you turned to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“We shouldn’t.” He says and your heart dips.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” you say, dropping his hand but he catches your fingers, shaking his head.

“You misunderstand me. I want to. But not right now, you’re not- you’re tired and it’s been a long day, I’d rather you sleep then keep you up all night.” You find yourself blushing at his words. You swallow.

“What if I want that?” You barely whisper as though your words held too much gravity. You watch his jaw tick, something flashing in his eyes. It was clear what he was thinking about.

“Love, please, I have just a shred of chivalry left, don't test it.” God you wanted to test it so badly but you felt light headed, exhaustion plaguing you now.

“Alright,” you say softly, he closes the distance between you both, pressing a soft and quick kiss to your lips. When he pulls back he pauses a hair’s width from your lips and when he speaks you feel his breath tickling you.

“Let’s go.” He says. You fumble through the darkness, Fyodor’s arms around your body, pressing soft kisses to you shoulders and neck as you push open the door to your bedroom. You strip down, changing into a large t shirt, letting Fyodor borrow something to change into. Something an ex left at your place, you decided not to tell him that. You both fell into the bed together, exchanging tired kisses in the dark. His body on top of yours, the weight of it heavy, you brought your hands to his sides pulling more of him on top of you. “For someone who hasn’t slept in days you have a lot of energy.” He mutters against your neck. You shutter.

“I want you so badly.” You say before you can stop yourself.

“Trakhni menya…” he groans softly, rolling off of you. You roll to face him, blushing and hot. “You have to sleep.” He says, his hands sliding around you to pull you into his chest. You settle in his arms, his heart beating steadily against your back. He presses a kiss to your shoulder. You close your eyes, listening to his steady breathing. How things escalated was beyond you but you’d never felt more comfortable in your damn life. He pulled a cover over the both of you, reaching to flick off the light. He brushed your hair back out of your face as you wondered what the hell you were going to do in the morning. Taking him back made your stomach twist. You realized for those 213 days you were looking for a reason to seek him out. That when an opportunity fell into your lap you grabbed and ran with it because despite everything you tried lying to yourself about, you wanted him badly enough to break him out of prison. You settled closer to him, sleep slowly tugging you deeper. You tangled in bed with Fyodor, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair.

One last thought formed before you were taken by sleep.

You weren’t taking him back. He was yours to keep now.

[sugar-glaze-donut]

you know what, fuck it

*proceeds to name every dating sim/ otome game I know*

(somewhat in alphabetical order + description with spoilers)

A date with death You get your soul targetted by a grim reaper, but you instead steal his soul and made him into your pookie wookie snookums <3 BTW you can get a pet in the game. Mine is a snake called Noodle :)

Blooming Panic it's Discord but with hot characters, a variety of side characters, a cute story, and Chat GBT but it's a sentient being. I think the last part spoiled one of the routes... oopsies :3

Bonely Hearts Club (Undertale AU Dating sim) They basically become your neighbour. The AUs in this are Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, Swapfell!Indigo and Horrortale! {it's still in its demo stages but it is very well made!}

Error 143 you, an adorkable hacker (who is your rival and you're salty about it), cheesy Romeo and Juliet dream the MC has but it has a high school twist to it

I love you! You like asparagus. ...oh! You also have an option to make multiple boys fall in love with you. By the way, did you know the MC (you) loves asparagus? There are friendship routes, romance routes, and a bad ending except it's not bad. This game is the English translated version of the original game (The original game is in Japanese. The link for the original game is here --> ❤️)

Killer Trait You get accused of committing a murder, and you team up with a person who is a serial killer himself. (The serial killer in question only kills criminals so... I think you're safe...?) Your bear cream bun gets run over :( {The game is still in its demo stages. The creator of the game announced that this game will NOT be completed during 2024 since they are currently concentrating on a different game. DO NOT ASK THEM "Oh! But can't you just do this game first?". IT'S VERY ANNOYING, ESPECIALLY TO THE CREATOR}

KLEIN V.01 "Just Monika" but Yandere isn't named Monika, nor are they human. They are an AI. A fucking AI. Like bro, I understand it's hard to talk to people but really? An AI Boyfriend app that tells you to ruin your sleep schedule for him? An AI Boyfriend app that hacks your phone? An AI Boyfriend app that KILLS one of your family members and almost kills your neighbour??? RED FLAG. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE {this game is in its demo stages. The creator is slowly updating this game in chapters, so it might take a while to finish}

Light the Way (Luxiem fangame) The game remembers what you did. All of the hearts you've broken, your sins, and your actions. There are lots of achievements, memes, Romance, friendship and BAD ROUTES. This time, the bad endings actually hurt. 0/10 would not recommend doing the bad routes unless you want to be stalked by an alter ego of Yamino Shu :(

Obey Me (Original and Nightbringer ver) Original - You become the therapist of many men with trauma and insecurities. The men in question are fucking demons that have the power to shred you into grated cheese, but they instead decide to simp over you as the story goes on. (also did I mention that you'll die? No? Oh fuck-) Nightbringer - A continuation (?) of the Original Obey Me but in a completely different universe. That's right! You slip into the past, way before the main story happens, WAY before you were even born! Idk if there is a way to go home but hey! At least you have your wizard friend from your timeline with you :D

Our Life (Now and Forever & Beginnings and always) Both stories consist of you growing up with your love interest since childhood. There are many paths to take, lots of assets to use to customize your character, and many side stories for you to read! Personally, this is one of my favourites :D (Our Life: Beginnings and Always is complete but Our Life: Now and Forever is still in development!)

Please don't hate Christmas A Yandere x Christmas x Urban Legend Otome game. Do you like Paranormal stuff? Do you like lore that connects with the story? Are you alright with MCs with a sprite that is impossible to remove from the screen? Well, look no further! This game is perfect for you! (by the way, the whole game was made by the creator. Only by themself! Even the CGs and character sprites!! Isn't that amazing!?)

Saint Spell's Love Guide A normal week of magical school... you can be friends with someone, or fall in love with them. Wait... there's lots of CGs for each character? Complicated world-building and lore!?? Angst and cruel bad endings!!?? SHROOMS!?!?!? {Oh by the way, there's multiple ways to get killed in this game. Just make sure to be careful sweetie :3}

Where Winter Crows go A crow and a scientist named Crowe... cute Another one of my other personal favourites! The love interest is a very squeezable and adorable (yandere) scientist who cooks you good food :D All of the endings are well-written! And if you're a crazy bitch like me, you'll love one of the endings >:)

THIS IS PART 1 SINCE I CAN'T FIT EVERYTHING IN 😭

[ac-schryver]

Mama, I killed Adam! Angelic knife to his back Mama life’s just begun~

Alastor grunted lowly as he entered the east parlor of the hotel. He could feel Lucifer’s eyes boring into the back of his skull. Across from Lucifer sat Heaven’s delegation lead by a man only two inches taller than Lucifer with brown hair but the same agitating face.

“Wow, talk about a pretty face,” Michael giggled. ���Too bad about those, 8, 10?, murders. Heaven would have had a field day with you, handsome.”

“Michael, brother dear, is please refrain from flirting with the busboy,” Lucifer ground out, with a pout

“It was 15 murders actually,” Alastor spoke as he lowered himself into a chair watching as the other elder Seraphim flinch at his admission. “They tasted lovely once I turned them into andouille and boudin.”

“You’re not feeding us that are you?” Lucifer asked.

“Of course not, my King!” Alastor’s grin turned feral. “Don’t worry you pretty little head! I respect our dear Charlie too much to soil her palate that way, but I can give you a taste if you like.”

“Oooh kinky!” Michael chirped.

“Michael, sir, please!” Sera hissed.

“but it is!” Michael whined.

“Your saintliness ain’t so bad,” Angel grinned.

“Not so bad your self, doll!” Michael flirted back.

“Michael, please!” Sera hissed.

“ALASTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“That would be my cue to leave,” Alastor chuckled only to fall back down into his chair by a yank at his neck.

“Where do you think you’re going?” A purple snake demoness with heart patterns down her tail marched into the parlor, heels clicking, blue hair wild. “I told you to watch over Lucifer and Charlotte, not get killed fighting my stupid ex husband, who’s here now! Hi, Luci. Now get your skinny ass over here so I can fix you again!”

“EVE?!” Lucifer asked, then whipped around to Alastor. “You sold your soul to Eve?!”

“Hush! Do you know how stubborn this man is? Had to make a damn deal to let me heal him seven years ago and to make him rest!” Eve hissed and poked at Alastor’s face. “Asked me to stitch that smile to his face too!”

“Hey, girl!” Michael grinned. “How are the boys?”

“Michael! They’re good, invested in something call the Immediate Murder Professionals? It’s going well!”

“Abel and Cain are invested in I.M.P.?!” Sera gasped and the groaned.

“This has been so productive! When do I get to meet Lottie?”Michael asked. “Dad and I have a present for her!”

—————

It’s either Eve or Roo and boy do I want the Mama’s boy to pick the Mother of all Moms! Also I’m tired of mean Michael! I want chaos gremlin who’s Tired TM and just wants to visit his brother and niece also art of Michael and Eve, how I think they look until official art

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

*knocks the door* Hello there! 💙 I hope you're doing great, because an idea came to my head again!)))

I apologize in advance, because my post will be long and it will be about my OC and his city, so the request will only be at the end. And here's the idea...

I was thinking of a story where my OC would finally be able to feel helpless again and learn to appreciate more that Hualian is around, and at the same time learn to ask for help. A old and basic idea came to mind, BUT... I like it. My OC, a demon and the god of Quiet death, manages his city as your OC and Hua Cheng do. Only for me his city at first looks like a large dark forest with lights of blue flame and animals whose fur is highlighted.. You know, like in Avatar, if you've watched it, or in Skyrim, there are such animals in one of the missions (google the "skyrim vale deer" and that's it)). And then the main part of the city is hidden under the arches of a cave in a huge mountain, where plants and tree grow thanks to magic. And plants highlighted too. It looks like an elven town in the Lord of the Rings, only in Chinese style. A very quiet place where demons and souls come to seek peace, a life they might not have had before death.

The main palace in black and blue tones, dark wood, elegance, expensive, but not fancy things around... HUGE collections of fans and poisons...

And of course, a temple for Xie Lian... It is not big, but extremely cozy, quiet, almost personal, as if the person who created the temple did not show how much he is ready to give to his god, but rather is ready to give extremely little, but no less valuable... His own heart...

So, near the city, an unknown creature began to rage in the village and my OC went to deal with it. Alone. Because, why not actually. Nobody wants to put loved ones' lives in danger, even if they are much stronger than you. And he defeated this creature... But he was cursed and turned into a child. Like... A newborn baby... (If you are not comfortable with children, then you can make him a kitten, small, white fur, frightened eyes and trembling from any rustle)

And just imagine, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are worried that their beloved has disappeared, and then snakes come to them (pets of my OC, you can change it to birds if you feel comfortable) and bring them their beloved under a curse...

And I wonder how you see Hualian care and how they will remove the curse from their beloved reader X))

Cursed headcanons

Hua Cheng x M!reader x Xie Lian

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorryyyyyyyy 😭🙏 I was taking a small break from writing so plz don't get impatient with me guys. However he's I love that so much? Like the detail? The settings? The animals? I love it wtf? You are I fear. Anyways I hope you like this and I hope it makes you for the long wait😭

And I really, really, really hope you don't mind that I wrote him as a toddler 🫠🙏🖤

Also you said like, how your OC was giving his heart? So I used ashes instead.

Also I rlly am not liking my writing rn so I'm rlly sorry if the quality is awful

____________________________________

When Hua Cheng and Xie Lian saw you again they did not expect to see you as a toddler. As in a little boy. As in not your normal form. . .

You were all supposed to meet up at Puqi shrine, just to hang out, cuddle. You know normal lover stuff.

It seems you didn't make it peacefully, in fact it doesn't even look like you remember them.

Your snakes had apparently led the way.

They knew it was you because of the snakes of course. Also not just any little boy would be okay with snakes roaming over his arms, and neck

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian take you inside and start doting on you immediately

They've found nothing out. You don't remember them, or what happened

Sigh

Xie Lian is worried, initially he doesn't know how to fix it. They don't know anything so how can they fix it?

Hua Cheng is worried but more so angry. Who did this? Was it a heavenly official or maybe a ghost? Whoever it was he'll track them down and take care of them for you

The important part is getting you back to normal first though

Xie Lian asks Ling Wen about what curses it may be

Hua Cheng is trying to think if this might be like the time he turned into a kid too but they crossed that out

At the end of the day they come up with. . . Nothing. Yet.

Xie Lian decides for the three of you that maybe rest is what you all need

So that night in bed a toddler lies between the two of them.

You look comfortable in their arms so at least you aren't crying from fear

Hua Cheng was very happy when you were not scared of him.

The next day Xie Lian and Hua Cheng decide something different.

They know you were at your abode so maybe the problem happened there?

Soooo that's where they go, of course with your snake's help, seeing as you don't remember anything

The whole time you're either in Xie Lian's arms or clinging to Hua Cheng's legs.

They're actually having fun with this whole, you being a toddler thing. Not forever though.

All of you get to your city with no problems. . .

Except when they get to the "city" it's a cave.

At first Hua Cheng is debating to tie your snakes together by the tails but Xie Lian calms him down.

Then they both panic because suddenly you're missing.

The little you ran into the cave!

They give chase and then suddenly are wowed when they see your city.

It was hiding in the cave the whole time. Huh, no wonder.

They also find you petting some strange deer with highlighted fur, like literally glowing.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have never seen something like this before, they've never had the chance to see your city.

You're always too embarrassed to let them in

They quickly pick you up and Hua Cheng keeps you in his arms this time.

After admiring the city they follow the snakes again.

This time they've been led to a temple.

Who knows what's going through those snake's minds but apparently they're giving your lovers a whole tour

Because the next stop was a temple.

It's not gaudy but not out of shape either. It's elegant, definitely meant for a well loved god or goddess

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng find out who it's for when they see Xie Lian's statue in the temple.

They look around a bit, surprised there aren't many offerings at all. But they notice why when they look at statue Xie Lian's hair.

A hair pin

It's the only thing that isn't a part of the statue, it's not the same material or anything. So what is it then?

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian carefully look at it. After a few minutes Hua Cheng confirms that the hair pin is made of ashes.

Your ashes.

A hairpin, in Xie Lian's hair, you gifted, your ashes

Oh my

Xie Lian is flustered and puts it back where it was. Hua Cheng is smiling at toddler you

You don't know what's going on just yet but they know what a hairpin means

Once they're done appreciating all the fine details you've made for Xie Lian they're led away once again.

Finally to the spot where you were cursed

Xie Lian guess by the dead creatures carcass you must have been cursed by it.

This won't be a hard curse to get rid of, just destroy the creatures body and get rid of the ashes. Then you should turn back to normal.

So Xie Lian hopes.

Hua Cheng does all of it though he wouldn't dare let Xie Lian touch something so dirty. He places you in the safety of Xie Lian's arms so he can do so

After that's all gotten rid of, toddler you poofs and turns big again

They catch you up to speed pretty quickly, then you get ganged up on by kisses and teasing.

They want to see more of your city before you guys leave

____________________________________

Bro

I'm so sorry if it's bad

just tell me in the comments I might try writing something better. I love you guys 🥰🖤

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter Summary:

Four years later and Joel cannot believe the way his life has turned out. As he prepares for what he hopes is one of the best nights of your lives, will his fears get in the way of his future?

Warnings: Fluff, Smut, Soft! Joel, Possessive! Joel, Talks of Past Trauma and Character Death (Minor), Neither Joel or Reader Need a Hug For Once, Talks About The Future, Love <3.

A/N:

Hey y'all, I've missed you and this story so much that I decided to write an epilogue. This has a bit of a time jump and we are checking in on them four years after the last chapter. I won't ruin it for you but heads up, this is a whole lot of fluff and a whole lot of smut. I do fill in some blanks for you all since the dust has settled a bit, but I also wanted to feed my readers some filth after tormenting you for twenty chapters. If you guys want to see this pair again, my requests are always open but until then, that's all folks! I will starting a new series soon so stay tuned if you liked this one. Thank you for reading my first fic, I know it isn't perfect, but it has been a blast. Love ya <3

Epilogue: Alone and Forsaken, No More!

An amused grin stretched over Joel’s weathered face, his eyes following the little girl with a wild mane of curls as she chased a stocky boy across the backyard. Ellis’s chunky little legs worked hard, hard enough to keep him safe from the snake Alba was taunting him with, but he wasn’t quite as nimble as her. She screeched in delight as she gained on him, laughing maniacally at his terrified screams. If he were a better parent, perhaps he would have scolded her antics, but it was hard to do that effectively when he himself couldn’t hold in his own laughter. 

Even after four years, Joel found himself in constant awe of the dumb luck he had stumbled upon. Finding you had changed everything, leading him down a path that was more interconnected than he could have ever imagined. It had been almost ten years since he lost Ellie to the fireflies and condemned himself to a lifetime of solitude, and even longer since he had lost Sarah. Although the two girls still held their rightful places in Joel’s heart, he no longer let the sting of losing them eat him alive. Ellie and Sarah hadn’t been squished to the side with the arrival of the twins, rather his heart had expanded so that it could fit everyone inside. 

There were still days where Joel missed them so much that getting out of bed seemed impossible but instead of keeping it all in, he talked about it. Speaking about his girls breathed life into them once again and allowed their siblings to get to know their sisters better. He smiled with each question the twins threw at him about their favorite colors or their favorite books, willing to go on for hours if they wanted him to. The simple act of remembering, a feat that had once terrified him, was the thing that patched the holes in his aching soul. That, and the love of the one person who had been able to peel back the steel welded around his heart. 

Without his mate, Joel would be nothing more than the grieving shell of a man you had found waiting to die in the woods. It was bizarre for him to think about that day, and how different his life had become because of it. That morning his nightmares had pulled him out of sleep, just like they had for the past twenty four years. What had he been dreaming of? Joel couldn’t remember, all he knew was that whatever it was had served as yet another painful reminder of his failures. The morning was a blur to him now, but he would never forget standing over that trap, lifting his nose in the air as notes of lavender and peppermint drifted over to him from the river. With so much time in complete solitude, Joel remembered thinking he had finally gone insane, before a quiet whimper had smacked him in the chest and dragged him towards the rushing waters. 

After that day, Joel was in a constant state of awe at how ridiculously fortunate his life was. How could a sad sack of shit like him happen upon someone so beautiful, so understanding? It seemed impossible. And the fact that you loved him back? Well, that was a shock that he was sure he would never shake off. During the time at the cabin, the first home you shared together, Joel felt like he was always waiting for you to change your mind, like at any moment you might come to your senses and abandon him. But now? After everything the two of you had been through, he was pretty sure he deserved this slice of peace. He deserved to grow old with you at his side, watching as his children actually surpassed their teenage years and became adults. 

Five years ago, with a fresh bite mark proudly adorning his neck, Joel had gone to the river to refill the bucket after a failed breakfast attempt, only for the but of a rifle to slam into his face and knock him out. The next few weeks had been hell, followed by even more hell once he finally found you hacking soot out of your lungs as you crawled out of a burning chapel. He shivered, thinking about how his heart had broken in two as he cracked your ribs under the weight of his CPR compressions. It was like Joel was dying alongside you but the second you opened your eyes, gazing upon him for the first time in weeks, he felt himself come back into his body once more. 

The chaos that ensued after your near death experience was still something Joel couldn’t quite wrap his head around. Paul’s remaining men coming after the two of you as you healed in a lumpy childhood bed was one thing. But the cult that had stripped you naked and tried to bleed you dry in an abandoned pool? If Joel hadn’t seen it himself he would’ve thought it was bullshit. And just when he was sure he had you secured within the safe embrace of Jackson’s walls, his future had almost been snatched away again. First by the ghosts of your shared pasts, and then by the residents who had shown up to the house with pitchforks. 

Joel chuckled, thinking back on that day with kinder eyes now that a few years had passed. One thing about life was that it was filled with ups and downs, with hard losses and victories. And it just so happened that for whatever reason, mother nature had been on his side that day when the both of you were thrown face first into carnal need. Nobody could have predicted it, especially since you had only gotten the go ahead by the former town doctor to get down and dirty if you so dearly pleased. But for whatever reason, your heat had come back with a vengeance, tearing a rut out of Joel like it was nothing. He remembered you climbing him like a tree in front of the frustrated group of locals, growling at them and begging him to take you inside regardless of the crowd. 

The brief interview the both of you had been forced to sit through after Maria sent the residents away was a blur now. All Joel could remember was feeling extremely uncomfortable that his little brother and sister in law were around to see his cock straining against his jeans as he tried to muscle through the biological response you had ripped out of him. Meanwhile, he had also been tasked with trying to keep his heat fueled mate from ripping everyone’s throats out. Luckily, the small group of people you called family had come to defend Joel’s family, an act of loyalty that he would never be able to fully thank them for. 

With the looky loos dispersed, the next three days had been intense, filled with Joel trying desperately to stake his claim on you, as if he could somehow fuck a protection spell over you in case the worse came to pass. And you were no different, spouting possessive words as you marked in any way you could. He wasn’t entirely sure, but the event seemed to have prolonged the experience, so much so that the two of you had been dehydrated and exhausted by the time it finally petered off. There was no conversation about the situation during the relentless bouts of pleasure, only a silent understanding that whatever happened, you would deal with it as a team. 

Nevertheless, Joel had been sure that he would be lugging bags across Wyoming when the dust settled. Of course he never told you that, preferring to leave it until you had both regained some sanity, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he was running out of time in the home the two of you had made. The anxiety that had plagued his being had fueled his depravity, as he tried not to think of the impossible task of keeping his two newborns warm and above all else, quiet, as the two of you returned to the cabin. Joel didn’t even want to go there, he wasn’t sure what sort of state it was in or how many supplies he had left, but it seemed like the only option if Jackson ousted his family. Nevertheless, when the dust had settled and his rut had finally quelled the heat raging inside of you, he was surprised to find that the sky had not fallen during his time away. 

Joel had prepared himself for a war to protect his family from the scorn of Jackson. He had grimaced when you suggested a walk to the center of town, preferring to get it over with rather than wait it out, but what else could he do? After picking up the twins from Jake’s house, another factor that had him on edge, the two of you had set off to find Jackson’s fearless leader. Joel held Alba tight to his chest, so tight that the normally feisty newborn seemed to sense her father’s discomfort and relaxed in his arms. 

Every passerby was a possible threat and Joel remembered asking you multiple times if you needed him to take Ellis. It wasn’t because he thought you weren’t strong enough to carry an eleven pound sleeping pup, it was because he was convinced the both of you would be sprinting out of town the second Maria caught wind of your freedom. Joel was the muscle, but you had all the speed, which meant that the twins would be safer in his grasp while you covered him from any incoming danger. As much as he hated to think about going to war with his mate, he trusted in your abilities to fend for your family. Except the fight that Joel was so sure of never came to pass. Upon reaching the main square and approaching his brother’s terrifying mate, he was shocked to find that his family was old news. 

The incessant complaints of more than a few residents had dogged Maria at every turn while the two of you were indisposed, which had forced her to make an executive decision. There weren’t many options, either she tore her own family from their homes in the middle of what was the most intimate of times between mates, or she followed the path of least resistance. Maria had swiftly dismissed the two of you outside the dining hall that day, ignoring the questions sent her way about what the future would hold. Although she had been quick to dismiss any questions about nepotism, given the fact that the path she chose to follow just so happened to benefit her own family through marriage, Joel had his doubts. 

Tommy too left the two of you wondering, as the beta was uncharacteristically silent on the matter when approached thereafter. Maybe Maria wasn’t quite as unbiased as everyone believed Jackson’s fearless leader to be, or maybe she just hated the thought of separating two pups from their parents. Either way, Joel knew that he’d spend the rest of his life being thankful that she had opted for the option that kept his family away from the horrors of the outside world. 

The tale that had been concocted was just what the Jackson residents needed to spice up their monotonous lives, like something out of one of the many teen dramas Sarah used to make him watch. It featured the classic archetypes. There was your mother, the woman who had abused for so long that when her daughter went missing, she finally snapped. And there was Cooper, the incessantly disparaged younger brother who had almost had everything taken by Paul. A deal was supposedly made in secret once the two collaborators within Jackson were found, one which led to their eventual deaths. The entire town ate every bit of it up and gossip about the incident flooded the streets for months afterwards, each version getting more extreme than the last. 

Joel almost wished he had been there to see the trial, but he knew that it was probably for the best that he had been too wrapped up in his rut. It would have been hard to watch two innocent people take the blame for the crimes he had committed, and even harder to keep you from jumping to their rescue. Not that they needed saving. 

Much to Joel’s amusement, the town didn’t blame either parties for slaying the men that had worked alongside Paul’s former group of assholes and Aspen’s remaining faithful followers. All they got was a sharp slap on the wrist in the form of community service and a quick rise to the status of local legends. He tried not to be too miffed about it, reminding himself that he should be thankful that the two were willing to brave the extra attention for the sake of the people he held dear. Plus, Joel couldn’t get around the fact that at that time, his track record in Jackson was pretty awful, with everyone still remembering his grief fueled, drunken antics from years before. Still, the fact that they would’ve easily written his family off because of him had agitated him a bit, but he let it go. 

Luckily, since that fateful day four years ago, Joel’s image had been slightly refurbished, which he attributed a large chunk of to his family’s reputation. It was hard to believe that Joel was a complete monster when his mate was the town doctor and the twins were so damn cute. And with his slight reputational rehabilitation, came a small perk in the form of a new job. Taking on the role as the handyman for Jackson was not something Joel had seen himself doing, especially with how most residents had avoided him like the plague during the first year of coming back to town. But after the relentless fighting he had faced for decades and two backbreaking years with the twins running circles around him, he was exhausted, and not just physically. 

Joel was tired of kissing you goodbye, knowing that you would be worried sick until he rode through those gates again. He was tired of the forever changing patrol schedules, of leaving his family alone in the dead of night or on hectic mornings when neither of the twins felt like cooperating with their parents. He was tired of missing things whenever something went bump in the night outside of Jackson’s walls, like the time he had missed Ellis standing for the first time while he was taking down a wayward group of infected. So, after a long conversation with his beloved sister in law that had ended with him literally begging her, he gave up his spot on the patrols for simpler employment, the kind he had done before the outbreak. 

There was a never ending list of things for Joel to tinker with in Jackson and for the first time in a long time, he was actually proud of his work. Sure, it wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it was what he knew, and he was good at it. He spent his days filling an endless supply of work orders, fixing broken things and supervising construction jobs until he could sprint home to his family. It was a perfectly uncomplicated life, one that he had assumed to be off the table for him since that devastating day in 2003, and he fucking loved it.  

Despite the fact that raising two rambunctious kids was at times back breaking work, Joel tried his best to rise to the occasion. There had been multiple occasions where he felt he might crack under the pressure, but luckily he had a good foundation. He had you, someone who walked by his side, unshaken by the things that would make even the mightiest of alphas shake in their boots. It was because of you that Joel was sure he could do it all and more. The two of you had formed a united front for the rowdy pups that were weaving between the trees in the backyard, giving what the other lacked so that the twins would never go without. Which was why Joel wasn’t surprised to hear your concerned voice come from behind him as Alba shoved Ellis into the dirt with a wicked grin. 

He didn’t blame you for worrying about their wrestling, you had never had a sibling to fight over toys with. If only you had seen him and Tommy at their worst; practically strangling each other over shared action figures, or shoving the unexpecting party into a pile of horse shit when mom and dad weren’t looking. Perhaps then you would understand that the harmless tussling of two four year olds with weak limbs was nothing to write home about. In fact, as long as it didn’t get too rough Joel sanctioned it, knowing that it would make bedtime ten times easier. 

“Shouldn’t we be doing something about that?,” you asked, making him turn from the scene unfolding outside. 

Joel lit up at the sight of you clad in a set of light blue scrubs, beautiful as ever. He smiled wide, unable to tamp down the giddiness he felt as he stepped forward to embrace the woman that had set his soul ablaze. Dropping a loving kiss into your hair, he indulged in a heady whiff of your scent, as if it had been days rather than hours since he smelled it. There was a slight bite of chemicals, likely from the antiseptic used at the clinic, but he ignored it in search of a hit of the good stuff, of the delicious smell of his scent nearly overtaking your own for the first time in four years. Joel’s scent mostly cloaked your own as it pumped out of your pores, signaling to everyone in town that it was his pup you were carrying. And if his scent wasn’t enough, the swell between your hips was getting harder to ignore, proudly boasting yet another addition. 

This pup, much like the last two, had taken you both by surprise. Except that it wasn’t like before, when Joel had deluded himself into thinking everything would be fine each time he spilled inside of you, only to freak out when nature came knocking. He didn’t fear being a father anymore and after the twins had surpassed the terrible twos, he even humored your subtle hints about adding another to the mix. However, after four years of constant lovemaking, whether it was fueled by hormone induced mania or not, there was no sign of another life. It didn’t matter that Joel had stopped trying to pull out mere months after the twins were born, or that you locked your ankles around his waist to keep his cum plugged inside almost every time; your womb remained empty. 

Joel had chalked it up to his age, assuming that his swimmers had probably gone dormant with time. He was aware that before the outbreak there were some alphas who were crazy enough to have kids well into their eighties, but after a lifetime of endless physical injuries and the inability to test his sperm count, he convinced himself that his reproductive abilities had somehow been compromised. Who knows? He had been stabbed and shot so many times in the abdomen, maybe something had gotten nicked. There would be no way of knowing if Ellis and Alba were miracle babies, and with you being a perfectly healthy candidate for motherhood, he knew that it had to be him that was the problem. 

Which was fine, Joel didn’t mind the twins being the only children he would have with you, they were more than enough. Still, he couldn’t help feeling guilty about not being able to give you the one thing you wanted, the one thing he was specifically designed to give his mate. Although you had adamantly claimed it was fine, that you were perfectly happy with the life you had been given, he saw the yearning you felt as you walked by one of the few pictures of the twins that hung along the walls of the house, especially the one that had been taken when they were barely a month old. Or the jealousy that you had tried to hide when Maria gave birth to a little girl two years earlier. Or the way you looked at even your best friend’s incessant additions to his family. 

The longing on your face was enough to break Joel’s heart and so he kept trying for you, even though he was sure it was a lost cause. What else could he do? To reject your attempts would be to admit the truth, that the likelihood of another pup was probably slim to none and that it would probably be best if it was dropped altogether. Nevertheless, you remained persistent, ignoring every sign that the attempts were futile for yet another year, until he had completely forgotten why you were so keen on jumping his bones to begin with. Which of course, was when it happened. 

After an exhausting illness had knocked you down at the end of May, accompanied by a familiar distaste for meat, it became clear that a test needed to be taken. Joel had dropped the twins off at Tommy’s that night, terrified of what the fallout would be if you weren’t pregnant. However, nothing could have prepared him for what he came home to that night. He had been ready for an average, vaguely tense stroll to the clinic with his mate, only to be forced into a set of dark clothes so that he could sneak through town like some sort of burglar. 

For the last year, the clinic had been run by a new head honcho, you. The training with the previous doctor had been completed just before the twin’s second birthday, allowing the elderly woman the luxury of finally being able to retire. It had taken almost a year for you to get the hang of handling the ins and outs of being in charge, which was why you didn’t want to shock the nurses who had just gained trust in their fearless leader. According to you, there was no reason to start a panic about maternity leave for what could be the flu. So, the two of you had used the cover of night to sneak through Jackson, infiltrating the clinic like it was some sort of grand heist rather than a trip across town for a pregnancy test. 

Of course, that was the day where the clinic was fresh out of tests, meanwhile the ancient ultrasound machine had broken for the millionth time. With no other option, you decided to do it the old fashioned way, hoping like hell that you were far enough along for there to be a heartbeat. Joel had sat patiently as you dug the stethoscope out of your desk, grumbling about the clinic’s lack of supplies until your hands slid across the cold metal. He took a deep breath as you shoved the buds in your ears, watching as you pressed the circular end to your abdomen. It took a few slight adjustments but then he saw it, the way your eyes lit up with a gasp before you tore the ear buds out so that he could listen. With shaky hands he had taken the stethoscope, straining to hear it. You shifted a bit and there it was, a little heartbeat fluttering in his good ear, a new life carving more space for themselves inside of his chest. 

The two of you had cried, holding each other and making nonsensical promises that ended in a round of passionate lovemaking against your desk. It was stupid to fuck in your workplace, especially when any nonsuspecting Jackson resident in need of medical attention could waltz in, but neither of you cared, too hopped up on the good news to stop. Joel had plowed into you with abandon, incessantly praising you as his cheeks burned from smiling so hard. 

That night had been one month ago and Joel was still riding that high as his two four year olds battled in the yard. It was different this time around. The first time he hadn’t been ready to be a father again. He was scared shitless for your entire pregnancy, constantly doubting himself and praying that he wouldn’t fuck it up again. Tragedy had chased him before and he was convinced that at any moment, his life would collapse in on itself yet again. But none of that happened, Joel had two healthy pups and a woman who loved him. And in four to five months, there would be another pup for him to care for. There was nothing for him to fear anymore, only the satisfaction of having a life that was truly worth living. 

“Joel?,” you huffed, breaking Joel from the spell he was under. 

He hummed, “They’re fine baby, best they get it out now before bedtime.” 

A frustrated sigh fell from your lips, but after one more glance towards the backyard, you nodded. Joel kissed your cheek, trying to distract you from the wrestling pups. They would be fine. If they truly needed a time-out from one another, he knew that one of them would have already started screaming at the top of their lungs. 

“How are my girls today?,” Joel murmured, pressing his hands against the bump to hold his pup. 

You snorted, “Puh-lease, you always think it’s going to be a girl.”

“I do not.”

“Mm hmm, yeah you do. It’s exactly what you said last time,” you pointed out. 

“I mean… I was kinda right though,” he shot back. 

A snort came from you, followed by a smack to his arm that made him squawk and chuckle. With an almost audible roll of the eyes, you brushed past him to get a better look at the pair that tussled in the grass. 

“Only half right,” you grumbled as you peered out at them. 

The snake had been long since forgotten, probably yanked from Alba’s hands by her older brother once it had gotten too close to his face. Although Ellis had been screaming bloody murder just moments before while his sister was chasing him, Joel knew all too well that his son had been blessed with his father’s temper. A fear of snakes could easily be overcome once a certain threshold had been reached, a threshold that Alba loved to test at every turn. 

Ellis wasn’t like his sister, he wasn’t sporty or sociable. He preferred to spend his days quietly coloring or pretending to read books that were far too advanced for his age, though Joel had a sneaking suspicion that he knew more than he was letting on. If Ellis wasn’t somewhere with a book, he was shadowing one of the grownups in his life, either following you through the clinic like he was some sort of intern or watching Joel fix something in his workshop like he was learning the ropes. It was crazy how much of a little man the boy was. There were times when Joel wondered if his real son had been swapped at birth for a younger version of himself. He couldn’t help it. Every time Alba’s antics were shut down by a pointed look from her older brother, all he could see was himself and Tommy. 

However, unlike her Uncle Tommy, Alba didn’t often push for more than Ellis could give. Usually, one outburst was all she was looking for, as if shattering the illusion of his maturity was the only thing she was after. She was smart enough to walk the line of appropriateness like a tightrope to keep herself from getting in trouble. When Alba wasn’t picking on her brother, she spent most of her time tracking down one of her parents to play whatever needlessly complicated game she had made up at the top of her head, or begging anyone that would listen to take her to the park so that she could blow off some steam. Joel was close to building her an at home gym so she could exhaust herself, anything to keep her from bouncing off the walls. 

They were complete opposites, which meant that a bit of tussling was necessary to keep any grudges from forming. Joel peered out the window, chuckling a bit as Ellis finally gained the upper hand in the brawl. It took a lot to get his son to engage, but Joel was glad to see him rough house like a regular four year old. They fought over a toy, forming a small heap of flailing limbs as they grappled with each other. It made him laugh to see the doll being fought over, especially since he knew Ellis didn’t give two shits about it, likely trying to get a bit of revenge on his sister for bothering him. The kicks were a bit more enthusiastic than before, teetering on the verge of parental intervention, but Joel held back to allow them the chance to correct themselves. 

“I don’t like it when they play like that,” you commented, the small crease between your brows deepening as you watched the twins roll around in the dirt. 

Joel sighed and stepped closer, wrapping his arms around you so that he could bring his chin to your shoulder. He smiled at the two, remembering the scar on his left elbow that he had earned from a particularly rowdy game of Kill The Carrier with Tommy and the neighborhood kids. 

“Relax honey, s’not like that. They’re brother and sister, a bit of play-fighting is good for them. Plus, if one of them wasn’t keen, you know that we’d fucking hear it. Hell, the people manning the gates would probably hear those two hollerin’,” Joel pointed out. 

Alba was the worst for it, but both of them had the strongest lungs he had ever seen. During their time as toddlers, Joel was perpetually thankful that the hearing in his right ear had all but disappeared in the years since settling in Jackson, as it ensured that their shrill cries were at least somewhat drowned out by years of damage. Meanwhile, you had been left with ringing ears and splitting headaches that were so bad that tylenol had become your best friend until they grew out of it. 

“I guess you’re right,” you sighed, melting back into him. 

Joel leaned down and kissed your cheek, ghosting his lips over your neck for a second for another hit of the delicious aroma you emitted. He smiled against your skin as you tilted your head back a bit, allowing him more room to peck at the sensitive skin. His mouth watered as he peppered kisses all over, trying to keep his groans to a minimum so that the moment wouldn’t be over before it had even started. Lately, the twins seemed to have a second sense for when their parents were about to engage in some much needed adult time. Joel knew that, but he was hoping that if he stayed as still and silent as one possibly could while sucking hickeys into their mate’s neck, he would fly under their radar. However, the warning you let out soon pulled him from that fantasy. 

“J-Joel, wait. You’ve gotta - shit - gotta cut it out. We’ve got incoming.” 

“Mom! Dad! Alby’s mean, she chased me wib a snake!,” Ellis exclaimed, causing his sister to immediately come to her own defense. 

“Well Lis is a stoopid butface who's scwared of snakes AND he took my dolly!,” Alba shouted back, sticking her tongue out at him for good measure.  

“You’re the butface!,” he gasped indignantly, like being called a butface was some affront to his personal character. 

At times, Joel had to remind himself that he was the adult, which meant that he couldn’t laugh at the petty arguments of two wound up four year olds. Plus, he was not completely without blame for the situation at hand, as quite a few cookies had slid their way after he picked them up. Joel couldn’t help it, all it took was one flash of the puppy dog eyes and he was folding like a piece of wet paper. Still, he knew that he had to stay strong before the two of them started screaming about who was the biggest buttface of them all. 

“Alba Miller, that ain’t a very nice thing to say. And what have I told you about buggin’ your brother? If Ellis doesn’t wanna play, you gotta let him be. Now, say sorry to him,” Joel admonished from your side. 

“M’sorry Lis,” Alba mumbled, kicking at the carpet as she stared at her feet. 

He nodded at his daughter’s apology, “Thank you sug’, now how about you Mr. Man?” 

Joel turned towards his son with a raised eyebrow. Ellis sighed, stubbornly flashing his eyes at his father’s request. It had always been that way, from the second Ellis refused to take his first breath, to when he had ignored Joel’s attempts to get him to look up during tummy time, to his adamant rejection of any set of clothes that wasn’t picked out for him by his mom. Whereas Alba didn’t care enough to be tied down by a simple apology, or the slight corrections from either of her parents, Ellis was tougher to break. 

Well, for Joel at least. The both of them listened to you unconditionally, while he often felt like they were only humoring his corrections. He didn’t blame them, he too hung off your every word. 

“I’m sorry Alby, you’re not a buttfwace,” Ellis gritted out, glaring at his father one last time for good measure. 

Being chased around by a snake and then tackled to the ground wasn’t typically what the four year old boy preferred to be doing, so Joel allowed his poor excuse for an apology slide. If the discarded coloring book and crayons that laid against the lawn were any indicator, it had been an ambush. 

“Why don’t you two go get cleaned up? I brought home some chili that Uncle Jake made for supper,” you suggested. 

The pups looked at each other, raising their eyebrows in question before they tore out of the sunroom like two bats out of hell. They shoved each against the table in the breakfast nook, against the walls, against anything that could slow the other’s pace as they raced towards the stairs. It was only when you chastised them that they slowed down, although Joel knew that it was all for show. The second that they passed the dining room, which marked them as officially out of their parent’s sight, the pace picked up once more. 

“God, they’re going to make me go gray,” you groaned, sighing as you turned back toward him. 

Joel snorted, “Guess that leaves me shit out of luck then, I’m already there.”

What little brown Joel had left in his hair when the two of you met was almost gone, as the salt had started to completely cover the pepper, but he couldn’t complain too much about it. At least he wasn’t balding, and you didn’t seem to care. Plus, there was something about seeing himself grow old that felt like a victory. He never thought he’d live long enough to see it.  

“I love it, you’re my handsome silver fox baby,” you cooed, lovingly raking your hands through his curls, “I wouldn’t want you to change a thing, just keep being your sexy self.” 

“Whatever you say darling,” he hummed, eyes sliding closed as you rubbed circles into his scalp, “I’ll dye it fucking pink if ya want, just keep doing that.” 

A giggle came from you as Joel slumped forward, pressing his face into your neck so he could huff at the skin there. The magic of your fingers soothed each muscle in his body, until he felt like he was practically asleep standing up. Joel could spend eternity as he was, basking in the scent of his pregnant mate while she rubbed all his aches away. But he knew that with two pups, that was a pipedream. 

Until the kids were grown, Joel would have to make due with these scattered moments. But oddly enough, he didn’t mind being resigned to a few seconds of solace each day. It just made the time all the more special. And in that particular moment, with all of his strained muscles being addressed, he couldn’t help but smile at how perfect this small piece of the puzzle was. 

“Did you fix the breaker in the schoolhouse?,” you asked, speaking directly into his left ear so that he could hear you properly. 

Joel nodded groggily, “Yeah, it didn’t take me long. S’why I picked ‘em up so early.” 

“You know,” you chuckled, “Most dads would be thrilled to have some downtime. You could have left them with my mom and gone home to take a nap. With how late you stayed up with Ellis last night, I wouldn’t have blamed you for it.” 

How terrifying had it been for Joel to wake up as he had the previous night. The first thing he had seen was a small face that resembled his own, peering down at him with the focus of a deranged serial killer. Without even blinking, his son had stood there in complete silence, causing Joel to nearly jump out of his skin. Close to cardiac arrest, he had almost lunged at the small demon in front of him to protect his pregnant mate that was asleep beside him. 

But as the post-dream haze faded, Joel was relieved to find that it was just Ellis who had crept into his room after a bad dream. So instead of chanting the tiny bits of scripture he could barely remember from Sunday school to ward off a child-shaped demon, Joel spent his night reading to his son. He held Ellis close to his chest for hours, rocking him and whispering about Amelia Bedelia’s adventures until the little boy had finally dropped off around four thirty that morning. 

“Wasn’t so bad, he had another bad dream about fucking David Bowie,” Joel groaned, shaking his head at the thought of Ellis’s blubbering about the goblin king, “Plus, I wanted to see them.” 

“We shouldn’t have let them go see that stupid movie,” you sighed, “But in my defense, I had never seen Labyrinth before! Tommy said it was supposed to be for kids.”

Joel had a cheeky response, but a loud BANG echoed from upstairs, signaling that at least one of the human tornadoes were on their way. Given the swiftness of the little feet and how the steps halted at the room next to the bathroom to pound at the door until a muffled voice snapped at her to cut it out, it had to be Alba. 

“Well, I guess I can’t be mad at you for wanting to spend time with them,” you sighed, feigning a disappointment that caught his attention, “It’s a shame though, I heard you had left work early, so I thought I’d join ya. Had something special planned but whatever, there’s always next time.”

He blinked, “What? What did you have in mind?” 

“I thought we could pick up where we left off this morning.”

Joel choked on his own spit, his eyes widening as he thumped himself on the chest to cough it back up. Face was beet red, he finally caught his breath and narrowed his eyes at your sly grin. It had been far too long for you to be poking the bear, especially with how close he had been that morning. The two of you had gotten up early, both half dead from lack of sleep but desperate as he shimmied you out of the baggy sweatshirt of his that you had slept in. 

Neither of you had cared about how tired you both were or the morning breath, all that mattered was finally getting to feel each other after weeks of failed attempts. Joel had almost made it, teasing your drenched slit with his throbbing cock when a flurry of fists had slammed against the locked door. The doorknob had shuddered from one of them trying to figure out a way to break in and he sighed, groaning as he felt the moment slipping away. With no other choice, he had pulled away and dressed the two of you quickly before they beat down the door. 

Joel was quite literally starving, ready to die if he didn’t feel the tight embrace of your walls around him soon. He didn’t know how many times he had given himself a pitiful release in the few spare moments he had, holding up a pair of your used panties to his nose as he imagined what it would be like to have you splayed out for him once again. It was starting to get downright pathetic. And there you were, waving a first class dinner right in front of his face like it was some sort of joke. But little did you know, he already had a plan set in motion for tonight that would ensure the two of you got some much needed alone time. 

“Christ honey, ya can’t just say things like that to me. How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that I could be breakin’ that sweet pussy open right now?,” Joel whined.  

“Guess you’ll have to make it up to me with a little midnight snack,” you giggled, nipping at his throat in a way that made his stomach clench, “I just hope they actually stay in bed this time, it's been too long baby.”

Joel smiled wide, thanking his lucky stars that he had secured a babysitter as another playful nip to his pulse point had him close to laying you out on the ratty old futon in the sunroom. It’s not like it would have been the first time he had fucked you on it, but he refrained. Now was not the time for a quickie.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart, we just gotta put ‘em down. I’ve already asked and your mama is gonna do the rest for us,” Joel murmured. 

“My mom? What? Why?,” you asked, abruptly pulling back from his heated skin. 

He shrugged, “Figured we could use some alone time honey, so I called in the big guns. Been too long, I need ya all to myself. Wanna take care of my girl tonight, without anyone interrupting us. S’that alright darling?” 

Joel smiled at your enthusiastic nod, leaning down to steal one soft kiss from your lips as two sets of uncoordinated feet touched down on the first level of the house and sped towards the kitchen. The two of you broke apart with matching sighs, giving each other one last longing glance before turning towards the door. He motioned for you to go first, watching your hips sway as you left him behind in the sunroom. It took all of his strength not to lunge forward and tear your jeans off with his teeth, but the two little gremlins that raced into the room put any thought of that sort to bed. There were more important tasks that needed to be attended to, like getting them to sleep so that he could whisk you away for the night. 

After dinner, Joel was meticulous with how he spent the rest of the night. He kissed you on the cheek, promising to watch them while you did some self care until your mom came. First, he challenged the twins to a race in the backyard, which inevitably led to multiple rounds due to the fact that they were almost as competitive as their mother. All he had to do was lose a couple times and they ousted him from the activity, labeling him as a slowpoke before they continued to fight it out for number one. As they exhausted themselves, Joel cleaned the discarded toys around the yard, biding his time until one of them said uncle. In the end, it was Alba who won the final round, as Ellis had finally decided that the bragging rights were not worth the effort. 

Next, Joel worked through a plethora of books, trying to tire their minds as much as their bodies. He kept going until they slumped against the couch, their eyelids starting to flutter as they fought sleep, which signaled that they were ready for the final step. After filling the tub with the salts you made him use when his back hurt, Joel placed them in the warm water and watched as every bit of fight left in them melted away. They were both so out of it that they didn’t even react when their grandmother knocked on the front door, too busy trying to keep themselves upright to notice the muffled sounds of the two of you talking in the entryway. 

Joel gently rinsed the shampoo from their curls, chuckling at their little yawns and sleepy sighs. As tired as they were, it was easy for him to maneuver them however he wanted, which thankfully cut the usual bath time in half. It didn’t take long for the twins to begin to sway and he plucked them from the steaming water, chuckling as they groaned through the process of him drying and redressing them. 

Even with as tired as he was, Ellis refused to go to bed first, clinging to one last bit of stubbornness for the sake of reasserting his place as the eldest. Alba was too sleepy to argue, already gone by the time her head hit the pillow. She didn’t even react as Joel drew the sheets up around her and placed a kiss against her chubby cheek, completely dead to the world. He whispered a soft -  love ya sugar - before he pulled away, smiling as Alba snuggled deeper into her pillow in lieu of a response. It was only when he turned around that he noticed that Ellis was also fast asleep at the foot of her bed, too overcome with exhaustion to stay awake despite his adamant refusal just moments before. Joel smiled at the sight of the two of them, shaking his head as he slipped his arms under his son to carry him towards his own bedroom.

Since their third birthday, the twins had started to sleep apart. Ellis had been placed in the room next to the plum bathroom, as he was more likely to need it in the middle of the night. Which left Alba in the room at the end of the hall, due to the fact that she slept like a damn log no matter what. A storm could blow through the house and she’d be none the wiser. It had been a hard separation, one that neither of them particularly liked at first, but the change was necessary. 

Their petty arguments and late night shenanigans had started to get out of hand. All it had taken was one midnight adventure into the backyard for a game of tag and the line was drawn. Joel had almost passed out when he had passed by their empty room that night, letting out an actual cry for help that had lifted you from the depths of sleep in an instant. Half cocked fears had driven him to a state that he hadn’t been in for years as he tore through the house, tears threatening his waterline as he convinced himself that the past had somehow finally caught up to him. Meanwhile, you had been ready to call in the calvary, rightfully believing the same as him. However, after the two of you had looked outside and seen them playing in the dark, the decision to separate them had been made in an instant. 

Plus, with another Miller on the way, their old room would soon find a new occupant. It still looked the same as it had when they were infants, although it had gone through a couple much needed updates for the incoming pup. All of the sets of two had been split apart, with the extras carefully stowed away in the basement in hopes that another surprise addition wasn’t on the way. A new coat of paint brightened the walls, along with a few paintings that their excited siblings and cousins had made for them. All the room needed now was the pup. 

As Joel walked into Ellis’s new room, careful not to trip over the art supplies and books that littered the floor, the pup let out a small whine. He slowed as he neared the bed, trying not to jostle his son as he lowered him onto the sheets. A hand came up and gripped Joel’s collar, as if even in sleep Ellis knew that his father was trying to make a hasty escape, and he smiled. Stubborn didn’t even begin to cover it when it came to this one. 

“S’alright buddy, your Papa’s gotcha. M’here sweet boy,” Joel mumbled into his son’s ear as he slowly pulled the tiny fist away from his chest, “I love ya buddy, but ya gotta relax. S’alright, your mama and I will be back before ya know it, just sleep Ellis.” 

Ellis relaxed at his father’s words, completely knocked out by the time the quilt was drawn up under his chin and a kiss was dropped into his hair. With both of the twins asleep, Joel eased himself down the hall, careful to avoid all of the creaky spots along the way. The last thing he needed was a restless child coming back from the dead while he was trying to make a break for it with their mom. As quietly as he could, Joel slipped into the bedroom, holding his breath for a moment after the door clicked shut. When two sets of feet didn’t come bursting down the hall, he sighed in relief, thanking his lucky stars that the plan actually worked. 

“Did they give you any grief?,” you called out. 

Joel walked over to the bathroom, leaning against the door frame with a grin on his face as you smeared a clear goop all over your face. It was the sweet smelling stuff that you coveted, forever trading far too much for a small bottle in order to ward off any wrinkles. He had laughed when you told him the reason behind the pricey trade, only to be snapped out of his joking mood by the glare you had sent his way. Joel had switched gears after that, reminding you that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, while also jokingly pointing out the fact that his own aged face was basically made of leather. That had earned him a smile, but the goop remained a part of your routine and he learned after that to keep his mouth shut about it.

“As much as I appreciate the down time, I can’t believe you managed to get them both in bed that fast completely by yourself. What did you do? Bribe them? I read two full chapters of my book AND did a full in-depth shower before my mom came, that literally never happens.”

He laughed, “Nah, I tired them out with some laps around the backyard and a bunch of books. All they needed was a hot bath and boom, out like a light. Ellis was asleep before we even got back to his room. He did stir a bit just before I got him down, but he was out again by the time I tucked him in.” 

“Hmm, I bet he was faking it. Ten bucks says he gets up and sneaks in with his sister again tonight,” you challenged. 

Joel laughed and shook his head.

“You don’t have ten bucks baby and even if ya did, what the hell would I do with it?,” he shot back. 

“Shit, ten kisses then?”

“Yeah, alright sweetheart,” Joel agreed with a lovesick grin, ready to give them to you either way, “I’ll take that bet.” 

You smiled and turned back towards the mirror to finish your routine. Meanwhile Joel drifted over to the sink, not to halt your movements, just simply wrapping his arms around you so that he could watch from over your shoulder. He took note of every step, following your fingers as they dotted some of the thicker goop under your eyelids. The soft circles you rubbed into the sensitive skin below your eye had him in a trance, a low hum rumbling in his chest as he slumped into you.

Joel’s chest tightened as you pressed back into his embrace, the warmth of your body against his chest making him sigh. The look you gave him in the mirror was worth a million words, a million lifetimes filled with nothing but utter bliss, but he’d have to settle for trailing loving kisses down the side of your neck for now. 

The beauty of holding you in his arms was not lost on Joel, you were the only person who had ever crept through the cracks of his gnarled soul to catch a glimpse of the truth of his being and understand it completely. To be seen for who and what you are, that’s something people dreamed of even before the outbreak, or at least he had. The minx you were, you had come when he least expected you, infiltrating his self imposed imprisonment to tear open his chest and engrave your initials on the inside of his ribcage, forever marking him as yours. It made Joel want to swallow you whole, to weld his arms around you so that he could forever be a part of you, but he couldn’t. You were the sun, the stars, and everything in between, all a mortal man like him was bound to do was worship you and pray that it was enough.  

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re doing that?,” you chuckled, sighing as he snuffled at the bite mark he had left years ago. 

“Mmm, I have faith in ya honey. Just do your thing and I’ll keep lovin’ on ya,” Joel mumbled, voice muffled against the crook of your neck as he continued to nip at the skin there. 

“Alright cowboy, how about you focus on getting ready, hm? I doubt my mom is going to be too happy if she hears us banging up here when we’re supposed to be heading out,” you reminded him, drawing him out the ocean of love and lust that your presence drowned him in. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Joel gave you one last kiss, lingering for a few seconds longer before he abruptly slapped you on the ass and walked away. A faint whine slipped from your lips and he paused in the doorway, throwing a smug grin over his shoulder that had you rolling your eyes despite how flustered you were. Joel laughed and drifted over to the dresser, filled with nerve racking excitement for the night he had planned. He tugged off his dirty clothes with a cheesy grin still plastered on his face, slipping into a cleaner pair of jeans and one of the only shirts he owned that didn’t double as work clothes, only for a singular glance into the mirror to shatter his confidence. 

For the first time in his life, Joel found himself wondering if his outfit was okay. He stared at himself, tugging at the fabric around his midsection and legs that had grown tighter in the last few years. It wasn’t that Joel was particularly unhealthy or overweight, his job in Jackson ensured that his body had remained strong. Nevertheless, four years of proper food and a comfortable life had left him with a softer tummy and thicker thighs. A flash of anxiety tightened all the muscles around Joel’s heart, ancient worries nipping at him that he tried his best to brush off. It was way too late in the game to be worrying about if you thought he was handsome or not. For Christ’s sake, you had birthed two of his kids and had another on the way. He shook his head, trying desperately to get it together before he let the panic get the best of him and called the whole thing off. 

A frustrated sigh fell from Joel’s lips and he paused, dipping his fingers into the gel he had borrowed from Tommy to tame his curls. He raked his hands through the silver strands, downright disgruntled as he tried to convince himself that he didn’t look completely absurd. Sighing at the sight of himself, he decided to leave it and moved back out of the bedroom. If you loved him as much as you said, he supposed that his newly acquired thickness and aging features wouldn’t bother you. 

Joel crept down the stairs, careful not to alert any restless pups as he made his way to the first floor. Babysitting the twins could be a handful, and he had promised that they would be asleep for your mother by the time she came. The last thing he wanted was to leave her with two excited grandkids after she had already been the one tasked with watching them all day. Especially with all she had done to ensure his plans went off without a hitch. 

“Has she figured it out yet?,” your mother called from the couch as he touched down onto the first floor, marking her place in her book so that she could look up at him. 

Joel shook his head, hoping like hell that he was right. Tonight had been a bit of an all hands on deck situation, which meant that he had to trust not one, but five other people to make it happen. Sure, he knew that Cooper, Maria, and even the woman in front of him could probably be trusted enough to keep a secret. But with two chatty-cathys like Jake and Tommy involved, Joel was in utter disbelief that the whole thing hadn’t fallen apart on day one. 

“I think everyone kept their word but Jake and her are like two peas in a pod, so I ain’t completely sure,” he sighed, “Who knows, the clinic has been so swamped that she’d probably forget it if he did tell her. Reckon I could’ve left the damn thing right on the dresser and she’d probably would've walked right by it on the way to bed.” 

She scoffed, “I’d prefer if you kept the ring somewhere safer than that until you have the chance to give it to her. I didn’t bring it halfway across the country and save it for over twenty years, hiding it from her stepfather and then those sick pricks who kept me in that damn brothel, just for you to lose it by being careless.” 

“Yes ma’am, I-I didn’t uh… That was a dumb joke, I wouldn’t do that,” Joel answered quickly, face flush from the shift in her tone.

The woman could still be as ornery as ever, but Joel knew enough not to fight her on the subject. He was right, it was a dumb joke to make, especially when he knew how precious of a thing it was that she had given him. In the time since her arrival to Jackson, your mother had softened a considerable amount, especially for her grandkids and the daughter she was still trying to mend fences with. The kindness had even been extended to Jake’s family, as well as Tommy’s, but Joel was still kept at an arm’s length. 

Joel didn’t blame her, he probably wouldn’t have liked anyone his older daughters introduced to him if they had made it that far, and he had a funny feeling that the same would be true for the twins. Who could possibly be perfect enough to deserve his kids? They would have to be a world class children’s surgeon, who somehow doubled as a school teacher and volunteered with the elderly, all while curing every disease known to man, in order to get his approval. Afterall, they deserved the best. Still, Joel knew that there was no way your mother hated him entirely. If she did, she wouldn’t have given him her most prized possession. That had to count for something. 

“I went up there to help Jake with a few things and it,” she stopped and cleared her throat, “... It looks nice Joel, really nice. I think she will appreciate it. After everything that I… Well, all I was ever worried about was keeping her alive, so much so that I couldn’t see how miserable she was. I’m glad she has someone who does things for her, someone that keeps her safe AND happy.” 

The compliment was rare, so rare that Joel wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. Some of the ice in her eyes had melted and for the first time ever, he could see a small twinkle of something. A quiet excitement radiated off of her, so subdued that the untrained eye would have missed it, but it was there. A veil of grief still masked it, like many of the other positive emotions she exuded, but he could see how happy she was for you despite her own pain. Joel understood that grief, could sense how hard this was for her as someone who had lost the only man she had ever loved, and he wished there was something he could say. But Joel only knew of the past from your perspective, and he knew even less about the father you had lost well over twenty years ago. There were no words that could fix that type of pain, so instead he refocused on her praise. 

“Thank you, I want it to be perfect. I love her so damn much and I uh… Well, I know that it ain’t much but I want her to feel um - to feel…,” Joel trailed off, slightly uncomfortable gushing about his mate in front of such a severe woman. 

She waved off Joel’s attempts at an explanation, giving him a look of understanding that calmed his frayed nerves. 

“It isn’t about material possessions,” she sighed, looking away from him, “Her father and I never married, but that was my choice. Abe showed his love in other ways instead. He built me a house, he let me pursue my career over his, he gave me a daughter who is so much like him that it hurts sometimes… The ring didn’t matter to me and he knew that.”

“So why did you keep it?,” Joel froze as her gaze snapped back towards him, fearing he might have overstepped, “I mean, shit. I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t know why I asked that. That’s not really any of my business, I just meant -” 

“It’s fine, you should know if you’re going to give it to her. I hated the thought of it, being someone’s wife just felt like admitting defeat to me. She never met my parents, but they were hard people, very strict and religious. God, I hated them so much but it’s funny, you always end up becoming the one thing you never wanted to be,” she chuckled. 

Joel felt his heart break for the unfortunate woman, standing there in silence as she worked through the past she tried hard to avoid. He wondered if you knew any of this. There had been many conversations, hard and awkward as they may be, between you and your mother since settling in Jackson. It had helped the two of you to come together, but he knew there were still a lot of things she hadn’t been able to fully express to you just yet. 

“Anyways, none that matters now I guess. I met her father and I finally had a family. He understood, so he never pushed me to marry him… Even if his mom was always asking when she’d see us under the chuppah,” she laughed, softening as she remembered your grandmother, “When she died, Abe took her ring for our daughter. She was the only granddaughter so…” 

“So, he figured it should go to her someday,” Joel finished. 

“Yes, but it was more than that. She’s not like me, Joel. Even as young as she was when he died, Abe knew that she’d want it someday, that she’d want all of the romance that came with a commitment like that, just like he did. That’s why he kept it, because he knew her…,” she said wistfully, getting a little quieter as she added, “He was always so good at knowing people.”

A beat of silence filled the air and Joel didn’t move to fill it, letting her have a chance to breathe. This was the most your mother had ever spoken to him about… Well, anything. And the information session on the family you barely remembered? That was priceless. There was no way Joel was going to ruin it. He watched as she straightened up and peered into his eyes, looking directly into his soul as she continued. 

“Everything good in her, all of that hope she has, comes from him. She is completely of him, not me. When Abe died, I promised to keep it for her until she found someone that would love her. I never gave it to that bastard Paul, I’d sooner toss it in a lake. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but giving you that ring was not one of them and I know that her father would agree.”

Another beat of silence passed, one where Joel stood in quiet astonishment of your mother’s words. Never had any of that information been divulged to him. Of course you had told him stories about the father you had lost over the years but not many, which he attributed to either the pain that still lingered or the simple fact that you had only been five years old when he died. There were stories about ice cream trips, dressing up in silly costumes for Purim, and how he treated your family with such care, but that was it. Joel had been able to put together that he was a good man, but to learn more about him from an adult’s perspective, someone who could actually paint a picture that wasn’t faded around the edges, that was everything. And to be given the blessing of not just your mother, but the man who had loved you both so much? It was everything to him, as your mate, as a father himself. 

“I… Thank you, I never knew any of that. She hasn’t uh… Her memories of him are few and far in between I think, so I still don’t know a lot about him, other than that he was a good man and that he really loved you two. I wish I could have known him,” Joel admitted. 

She nodded, her mouth twisting in a way that made him want to reach out and hug her.

“You do, in a way. He was… warm, like her. And she knows people, just like he did, so much so that it used to scare me but now… Now I think it helped her figure out what she wants. That’s why I know she’ll say yes, she’s known what she wanted since day one,” your mother said. 

“I-I don’t even know what to say, other than I love her and I promise that I won’t ever hurt her. All I want is to make your daughter happy,” Joel vowed, trying to keep himself from getting emotional in front of the stoic omega. 

Above all else, even if your mother still absolutely hated Joel as she had after their first encounter in the arena, he needed her to understand that he would never do you harm. If it came down to it, he’d die before he ever let anything bad happen to you.  

“I know,” she nodded, “Although, perhaps you should get better at giving explanations if you want her to say yes. The stuttering doesn’t sound very convincing and you should probably promise her more than just ensuring her safety. I think we both know she can hold her own.” 

Joel chuckled, shaking his head at the dry jab, “Yeah, maybe you’re right about that.” 

“Right about what?”

Whirling around, Joel was met with a sight that made him weak in the knees. The last days of June had been warm, which caused you to swap the scrubs out for a pair of shorts that 

perfectly framed your ass, the denim tapering off mere inches away from the swell of it. If that wasn’t bad enough, the tighter than usual t-shirt you wore nearly drove him up a wall, as the evidence of his claim on you was straining against the fabric around your tummy. That and the deep v-neck almost gave Joel a stroke, but the presence of your mother kept any lewd thoughts from turning into actions. However, he couldn’t entirely let your beauty go unaddressed and marched over, greeting you with a kiss that certainly teetered on the edge of appropriateness. It was over much too soon but he made sure to make it count, even sneaking in a small dip that made you squeal and break away from him. 

“Wow, what was that for?,” you panted, giggling as he pulled you back up. 

“Y’look real pretty baby, just had to kiss ya.” 

Entranced by the way you beamed at his compliment, Joel leaned back in, completely forgetting where he was. All he could focus on was your lips, so pretty and soft, practically calling to him. How could he leave them unkissed? Refusing to kiss the one who brought him back from the depths of hell would be a sin. However, when a throat was cleared Joel halted mid air, inches from reaching the plushness of your mouth once more. The two of you turned, breaking apart at the sight of the severe woman who cocked her hip out at the affectionate display. 

“Ugh, please go,” she muttered, grimacing as she turned back towards her book, “The twins will be fine, I can watch them until noon if you want to sleep in. For the love of everything that is holy, just get out of here before you blind me. There’s only so much a woman my age can take.” 

“Thanks mom,” you said with a sheepish grin, gesturing for Joel to follow you towards the door. 

Joel nodded, thanking your mother one last time before the two of you practically sprinted out of there. He grabbed your hand as you stepped out onto the street, squeezing it every now and again in lieu of chatting. The summer air was the perfect temperature, not too chilly and not too hot, which soothed his dilemma about slipping a pair of jeans on rather than his only pair of shorts. Sure, you loved when Joel wore them, but who was he kidding? He was not a shorts type of guy and he was pretty sure the only reason you liked them so much was because they were much too tight around his crotch. 

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?,” you asked excitedly, making him chuckle and shake his head, “Because we passed the cafe, town hall is playing Footloose tonight, which I doubt you want to see, and considering the fact that you don’t drink anymore and we already had supper, I can’t see us going to the Bison...” 

“Ever heard of a surprise?” 

You scoffed, “Yeah and they piss me off. C’mon, just tell me baby.” 

Joel rolled his eyes, zippering his lips with one hand before he pretended to toss the key over his shoulder. He laughed as he felt you begin to drag your feet, leaving him no choice but to pull your dramatic ass along until you stumbled back into a normal pace. The sigh you let out as he forced you to walk normally was long and drawn out, but he knew that your own curiosity would be enough to convince you to follow him in the end. 

“Guess this is it then, you’re finally going to murder me. You’ve played the long game Mr. Miller but here we are, five years later and the final phase is in motion at last,” you lamented.  

Joel shook his head, keeping his mouth shut despite the fact that he knew you were trying to break him. The stable was in view, all he needed to do was keep your interest up long enough to get you on the back of a horse and outside of Jackson’s walls. If you would just stop rambling about his supposed plans to assassinate you, then maybe he could get you to the surprise without losing his mind. 

It was a field trip Joel had thought about for quite some time but after much deliberation, as well as a quick logistics session with his brother, he had figured out how to do it in a way that was safe. While the pregnancy had made him more nervous about it, Tommy had promised to be nearby for the night with Cooper, the two of them holed up in a lookout tower with a walkie talkie in case anything went sideways. Aside from a few scans over the area every few hours, the agreement was that they would keep a wide berth so the two of you could be loud if need be. Joel was incredibly excited and terribly anxious about it, feeling like he was burning from the inside out while you continued to push his buttons for information.

“Listen honey, I ain’t telling you nothing. M’just gonna take ya on a little ride and then I’ve got a few things planned, s’all I’m gonna say. Now, I know you’re itchin’ to know but let me do this right baby, please,” Joel cut in, which thankfully silenced your long winded murder accusations. 

Another look of skepticism was thrown his way but you nodded, allowing Joel to lead you into the stables and towards the jumpy horse that was somewhat of a family pet. Rusty still refused to take any other riders, but he seemed to understand that the twins were an extension of his owners, since they were the only other people that didn’t get immediately bucked off of his back. Meanwhile, the rest of Jackson remained shunned by the timid horse. Joel rolled his eyes as you approached the stallion, cooing at him like he was a sweet little puppy, rather than the grumpy brute he was. 

“Don’t baby him darling, asshole nearly tore Eugene's arm off the other day when he stuck his hand in to give him a carrot. Fucker didn’t even care that he was getting a treat,” Joel warned, keeping an eye on the finicky beast as he secured a saddle overtop of him. 

“Sh, don’t listen to him sweetie. I’m sure you had your reasons,” you murmured. 

Joel rolled his eyes as you placed a kiss on Rusty’s muzzle, which was answered by a series of excited little nods from the horse that made you smile. He sighed and patted Rusty's side in defeat, shaking his head at the way you babied him. Someone as ancient as Eugene most certainly did not deserve to be whipped around by his coat sleeves, especially when all he was trying to do was give the stallion a treat, but Joel supposed that there was no use in keeping a grudge on an animal that had never shunned him or his family.  

“Spoiled rotten,” Joel tsked, chuckling at the way you swatted at his arm in response. 

Shaking his head, Joel led Rusty out from the stables, giving him one last look over before he pulled himself up into the saddle with an audible grunt. He hauled you up next, placing you directly in front of him rather than behind so that he could wrap his arms around you as he steered the two of you towards the gates. 

“Ready darling?,” Joel whispered into your ear, noting the way you squirmed at the proximity. 

“I-I’m ready,” you stuttered, giving him the green light to head towards the exit. 

The guards at the gates had already been notified of the trip, which thankfully meant that the two of you were simply waved off rather than subject to the usual line of questioning. As he veered off to the right, Joel breathed a sigh of relief, letting the night air soothe his nerves. Would you like what he had planned? Fuck, he hoped so. Everything with the two of you had happened backwards, which meant he never really got the chance to try his hand at the whole romance thing. Not that he had ever been known for it before the outbreak, the best his hookups ever got from him was the usual aftercare and an offer of a paid cab ride home. And after the world ended? Well, let’s just say the quick fucks Joel had squeezed in here and there were dirty, more of a mean’s to an end. But once he met you, his soul mate, he suddenly felt the need to try. 

There had been attempts. Joel had carved that rose years ago, but he had given it to you after he had fucked the shit out of you for days on end. Even after that, when he thought that he might finally have a chance to woo you, to show you how much you mean to him, the two of you had been separated for weeks. Hell, by the time Tommy had found the two of you entangled in the ski lodge, any thought of pursuing cutesy little things had gone out the window. The growing life inside of you had been his only concern, and after they were born, the twins took up any remaining free time that either of you had. There had been small gestures, like the desk he made you for your office at the clinic, or the breakfast he made you each morning, or the song he wrote you for your last birthday, but it wasn’t enough. You deserved more. 

Joel needed to get better at the grand gestures, especially since his competition was you. In a world where so many commodities had become unavailable, one might think that gift giving would be nearly impossible, but you were annoyingly creative. Whether it be the long lost Fleetwood Mac CD you had found for him, or the way you had reinforced his favorite brown coat with fleece for the wintertime, or the lunch box you packed for him every day, you continuously bested him in making an effort.

It was his last birthday that had kicked Joel in the ass, and he had vowed that day to find a way to top it, even if it was the last thing he did. At first he had thought it was just a notebook, something he could use for jotting down measurements and supply lists for his job, but after some urging from you to open it, he was stunned into silence. A small collection of pictures, all taken from his brother, had been arranged for him in a small book that he now kept in his nightstand. It had a few pictures of the twins, of you, of Sarah, as well as a couple shots of the family he grew up with, but it was the last picture that had made him dissolve into a puddle of tears. 

There, on the very final page of the book, framed with terrible drawings of rockets and other space themed decorations, was a picture of Ellie. His mouth had dropped open, pure astonishment splitting his face wide open as he looked down at the girl he thought that he’d never see again making funny faces in a series of photobooth snapshots. He had no idea that the picture existed, or who the other girl was in the photos, but he swallowed it all down to ask: 

“How?” 

“Tommy said she left it in the room she stayed in. He kept it thinking she might be back for it someday but then ah… That didn’t happen so…,” you explained, trailing off when you caught the look on his face. 

Fury had whipped through Joel in that moment, deepening all of the lines in his face and darkening his eyes. All he could feel was pure rage, not towards you, but towards the brother who had kept such a treasure away from him. How dare Tommy hold on to this, especially when Joel had devoted his life to grieving her for four years. How many bi-yearly visits had his brother sat on this information, babbling about Frankie while Joel floated above himself and tried to make all the appropriate noises that an older brother should? Not once had Tommy said a single word during his lowest period, but it was that exact thought that snapped him out of it, forcing him to grit his teeth and swallow down his resentment. 

There was a reason Tommy hadn’t told him. Two things could have happened to the picture. Either Joel would have vehemently refused it in his initial drunken stupor, cussing his brother out for thinking he needed the reminder of his failure, or he would have begrudgingly accepted it later on and left it with the rest of his things at the cabin. There would be no getting it back, not when he had two living pups that needed him alive and a mate that would be broken by a pointless death. Understanding this, Joel had taken a deep breath, drinking it all in for another second before he turned to you and began to cry. 

“Darling, I-I can’t,” he groaned, his brain unable to keep up with the wave of emotions that washed over him. 

Without even thinking about it, Joel launched forward and welded his arms around you, squeezing you so tight that all of the air rushed out of you. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. If you don’t like it, I totally get it. This was supposed to be a happy gift. God Joel, I didn’t mean to cross a line by digging up all of this shi-” 

“No,” Joel whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of your face for good measure, “It’s perfect honey. The best gift I ever got, promise.” 

That was months ago and yet, Joel still couldn’t get over the enormity of the gesture. That was why, as he neared his destination, he felt like he was about to implode. He wanted, more than anything in the world, to make you feel as special as you had made him feel that day. Joel had worked hard, scrounging up what he could and planning for months, but he was still nervous. What if you laughed at his efforts? Or worse, rejected them entirely? Sure, you had never done that before, but there was always a first time for everything. Afterall, Joel was not exactly known for being great at expressing his feelings. He tried to keep his head on straight for the last few minutes of the ride, even though he was sure that you could feel the layer of sweat that had soaked through the front of his shirt, but it was getting harder the closer the two of you got. 

“Honey, I uh… Well I wanted to do something nice but if you don’t - I mean, if it fucking sucks, we could always do something else. I don’t want you trying to spare my feelings alright? I’m a big boy, I can take it and if this ain’t -”

“Joel,” you called, breaking him from the spiral. 

“Yeah?”

“You’re better at this than you think. Everyday you make me and the twins feel so loved, it’s just what you do baby. I’m sure whatever this is, I’ll fucking love it,” you softly encouraged. 

Joe smiled, feeling his chest crack open and all of the tension rush out at your words. He pressed a small kiss to the back of your neck in thanks, nuzzling it for a moment before he straightened up in his seat. It was your words that pushed him through the last bit of the journey, giving him just enough strength to veer off into the clearing he had scoped out where Rusty could graze. 

“Alright, this is it,” Joel announced as he jumped down, holding out his arms for you to leap into. 

But you didn’t move. Eyes going cartoonishly wide at the forest that Joel had to admit, somehow looked ten times more terrifying at night, you whipped your head around before looking down at him with a raised brow. He chuckled, reaching forward so that he could yank you off of Rusty’s back and wrap your legs around his waist. 

“You’re really not beating the murder accusations Joel. I mean, all you need is a machete or something, and you’d be set to star in the world’s first post-apocalyptic slasher movie,” you teased as you pinched his side. 

Joel barked a laugh, shaking his head at the slight sting as he set you down in front of him. There was a mischievous look in your eye, one that made his heart skip a few beats. He leaned in, brushing his lips over yours for just a moment before he pulled back with a sly grin. 

“Machete is overdone, I’d be more original than that.” 

That made you laugh, a true laugh that puffed Joel’s chest up a bit despite the anxiety that still weighed it down. The fear of rejection still wriggled like worms in the pit of his stomach, but the sound of your laughter was making it a bit more bearable. 

“Oooh, like maybe your whittling tools? That could give it a little personal touch. They’d call you the Wayward Whittler,” you tried, nose scrunching up as it rolled off your tongue, “Bleh, forget that one. That sucks. You need something better, maybe something like…” 

“The Crazy Craftsman?,” Joel tried, which earned a cackle from you. 

“Yes! That’s perfect,” you laughed, throwing your head back in a way that made his heart soar, “Well, we’ve got it all figured out. Guess it’s time for me to die now, do your worst.” 

Joel shook his head, smiling as he held a hand out for you to take. A matching grin graced your lips as you took it, giving him the last boost he needed to direct you towards what could either be a romantic night, or a travesty of his own creation. 

“Sure thing sweetheart, but I was thinking we could go for a little walk first,” he joked, tugging you behind him as he weaved through the trees. 

From just beyond the treeline, Joel could hear the rushing water and he hastened towards it, wanting to get it over with before his heart gave out entirely. The two of you broke through the forest, coming out along the side of the river that powered Jackson. It was further upstream than the dam, a conscious choice he had made to ensure that no confused workers would stumble upon any intimate scenes. That, and the fact that it was tucked away, hidden from any of the usual groups of raiders or infected that passed through the area. Plus, the swimming hole just before the bridge was a nice touch. Once upon a time, Joel had promised to take you swimming in the river he had found you by when the summer came. Although this was a substitute, the waters were just as cool and the company was just as gorgeous. 

On the other side of the bridge, a lodge was built into the side of the rocky hillside. The wooden structure was slightly worn, the logs having been washed out by years of harsh weather, but the big windows and near perfect interior still boasted a rare beauty. It was the type of place where snobby rich pricks had probably escaped to when the stress of their fancy high rise had gotten to them, but not anymore. Now, it was just a beautiful building hiding in the middle of nowhere, waiting for someone like him to take advantage of it. There was a warm glow of candles coming from inside, beckoning the two of you inside. Joel turned to you with a hopeful smile on his face, praying that you weren’t completely apathetic towards the spot he had found.  

“Oh wow, this is beautiful,” you gasped.

The look of wonder on your face was something to behold and Joel tried to burn it into his memory with all of his might. This night wouldn’t necessarily change things between you, but he wanted it to be an experience that you thought about from time to time, smiling to yourself as you completed whatever mundane task life in Jackson threw at you. He wanted it to be a story that the both of you told an edited version to the kids someday, so that they could understand just how much their parents have always loved each other. So, as the look on your face filled him with hope, he took one last deep breath and began. 

“We met for the first time by a river,” Joel said, leading you across the bridge, “And I know that everything got messed up out there, but I still think about how it was at first, about how happy we were out there. That place was the first home we had. It was nothing but a coffin before you came around, but then it became a home, you made it a home.”

“Joel, this is so… What is this?,” you asked, voice thick with emotion already. 

“Hush baby, I’m gettin’ there. Look, I know the cabin is miles away and that it didn’t exactly,” he gestured towards the polished lodge, “Well, it didn’t look like that, but I wanted to take ya back. That was the place where I met my favorite person, it was where we fell in love, it’s where we bonded. Fuck, who knows, it could be where our pups were made. Honey, it’s our start.”

“Baby,” you squeaked, eyes brimming with tears that quickly spilled over onto your cheeks. 

He shook his head, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead before he continued towards the lodge. 

“Not yet sweet girl, there’s some more stuff inside first,” Joel implored, to which you gave a shaky nod.  

Coming to a stop at the door to the lodge, Joel gave you one last hopeful look before he opened it up, gesturing for you to go first. His heart clenched as you stepped in, the sound of a sharp gasp falling from your lips making his head spin. He followed, desperately hoping that it was a good surprise as he carefully closed the door behind him. 

Flowers, courtesy of the talented gardener your best friend was married to, covered nearly every surface. The air was filled with the smell of gardenias, dahlias, peonies, and a few more that Joel couldn’t quite place. Candles were scattered throughout the first floor, giving the room a warmth that made everything feel more intimate. There was a table filled with treats that you mooned over for more than a few seconds, eyeing all of the chocolatey goodness that was left for you with a small smile before you turned towards him again. 

“Joel, you shouldn’t have. This is way too much,” you admonished, though there was no real heat behind the words, just a flustered warmth that made him blush. 

“I wanted to baby, you deserve a little pampering every now and then. And I know you probably wanna dig into that chocolate, but there’s more to see upstairs first,” Joel directed, nodding towards the stairs to the second floor. 

However good the first floor looked, nothing could have prepared either of you for the second. Although Joel had given his helpers a plethora of instructions, he was shocked at how closely they had recreated his over the top imagination. He hadn’t expected them to be able to meet half of his requests, knowing that his need for perfection was completely unreasonable in a post-apocalyptic world, but they had followed every single directive to a T. There was even some artistic license that Joel couldn’t find it in himself to hate. 

More flowers highlighted the beauty of the open concept room, along with an obnoxious amount of petals all over the bed that reddened the tips of Joel’s ears. He certainly didn’t have the guts to ask for that, but he also had a feeling that they were courtesy of your excitable best friend. The candles around the room burned low, casting a sensual glow to the room that ticked the room temperature up by a few degrees. Even with the door to the balcony open, the fresh air wafting in from outside and the sound of rushing water, it was sweltering. However, given how hot and bothered the two of you had been lately, he was pretty sure the candles had nothing to do with it.

Awestruck, your jaw popped open as you looked around. Each time your eyes met Joel’s, a few more tears would fall, but it was the little memories that he had given his minions to leave out that started the real cries. The first thing you came across was a replacement of sorts. The small rose Joel had once carved for you was long forgotten at the cabin, along with many other precious things, but there it lay on a coffee table. Or at least, a replica did. It had taken him far too many times to get it right. Not that Joel would ever admit it, but there was a closet filled with failed recreations in his work room back home. Nevertheless, the endless trial and error was worth it to see your reaction. 

“I thought I lost it,” you sobbed, clutching the rose to your chest like it was priceless. 

Joel stepped forward, grabbing your face so he could brush the tears away as they fell. He kissed your eyelids, cooing at the small whimper that bubbled to the surface in return.

“That ain’t the original baby, I made another for this. Thought you might like to remember that day… It uh, well it was a really good one for us.” 

You blinked, slowly remembering how that day had played out. The rose, the morning chores, the fight by the river, and then…

“We bonded that day.”

Joel nodded, feeling sheepish as he remembered alongside you. He didn’t mean to be an ass that day, all he had wanted to do was unwind the clock a bit, to be the chivalrous gentleman you most certainly deserved. What Joel didn’t realize at the time was that you didn’t want that, you wanted him as he was. One frustrated argument was all it had taken for him to realize it, which had ultimately led to the love making session that had ended with you sinking your teeth into his neck. 

“That day was one of the best days of my life darling,” he admitted, though he was sure you already knew that. 

You smiled, “Me too.” 

Another nudge from Joel and you turned back towards the room, reaching another artifact he had left out. Although this one was a bit unclear, with the colorful case and upbeat soundtrack listed on the back boasting a mix that he would usually steer clear of. He cleared his throat, chuckling at your look of confusion. 

“Um, this is from… Well, it wasn’t exactly the best time. I mean, we had almost just died but you brought one of these mix CDs with us for the drive to Jackson and it was the first time in a while that I was happy. I mean, things got pretty crazy after that first day on the road but just for a second, everything felt okay. We were together again and it felt so fucking good.” he explained. 

“Even after you had to listen to my horrible rendition of the Spice Girls?,” you teased. 

Joel laughed, “Yeah baby, even after that.”

You set the CD down, smiling as you dragged your finger over the cover for another second before turning back towards the last bit of scattered memories. As you walked over to the small collection of things that covered the desk in the corner, Joel took a deep breath and readied himself. Pictures and keepsakes were strewn across it, showcasing the life the two of you had built together in Jackson. A few pictures of the twins as infants, toddlers, and even one taken a couple months earlier at Tommy’s birthday party were placed in the center, showcasing the center of both of your lives. Perhaps in a different life there would be a sonogram for him to add, but for now all he could make do with was one of the many drawings the pups had done for their incoming sibling. 

Around the edges, there were a few of the notes Joel had left you over the years, the ones you had hidden from him in the box on the bookshelf, as if he didn’t also frequent the library in his own home. You giggled, plucking a few from the desk and reading them, letting more tears flow as he got into position. He watched as you picked up one of the very few pictures of you and him, the only one that he looked semi-decent in. It had been taken at the twin’s second birthday party by Maria of all people, after the two of you had snuck into the backyard for some much needed alone time while all the kids and parents were too distracted by the chaos. 

In the picture, Joel holds you close, one hand on the small of your back while the other cups your face. His face is lit up, uncharacteristically lively as he stares into the eyes of the woman he loves. Even his mouth, so often found in a grim line, is spread wide with a grin that makes him look ten years younger. But it was you that stole the show in the photo, clad in a baby blue sundress that had driven him wild as he watched you host what turned out to be a jam-packed party. Your hair is slightly tousled, probably because Joel had his hands in it just moments before when he kissed you, but it makes you even prettier. And the look you're giving him in the picture, god, that look made him more sure of what he was about to do than anything else. 

“Hmm, you look so handsome in this one baby. It’s a good thing Maria came out of the house when she did, or else she would’ve gotten quite the show,” you laughed, shaking your head as you turned, “Do you think that she saw when you - Joel? What are you doing?” 

The way you stared down at him on one knee, cocking your head at the gesture like it was the strangest thing in the world, nearly made Joel lose his nerve but he pushed through. It was now or never. 

“Honey, I-I need to tell you,” Joel stopped, taking a deep breath to steady his pounding heart, “Before I found you, I was perfectly fine dying alone. Fuck, I was ready for it even. Anything would be better than feeling so god damn miserable all the time.” 

Fat globs of tears sprung from your eyes and Joel winced. Maybe starting with how miserable he used to be wasn’t the best move, especially when he was proposing to his very pregnant mate. As you bit down on your trembling lower lip, desperately trying to keep in the shaky cries he knew were seconds away from breaking free, Joel switched gears. 

“Sorry, that was a bad start. Let me try again. For years before the outbreak, I dreamed of what it would be like to meet my person, to fall in love with someone and be a family. Then, after everything that happened, I started to think that it was just a fantasy. Or if it was real, that I’d never find someone who’d be crazy enough to love someone like me, but then I met you.” 

A cracked sob echoed throughout the room, fallen from your lips as you shakily lowered yourself onto the floor. Joel chuckled as you got down on his level, gripping his shoulders to keep yourself upright as you gazed at him through a heavy veil of tears. He lifted your left hand, pressing it to his lips before he rubbed at the finger he hoped would soon be adorned with a ring. 

“I-I don’t understand Joel, what is this? I mean, this is all so… F-Fuck, it’s so amazing baby, but why are we on the floor?,” you blubbered. 

Joel laughed, a true, full, belly laugh as he shook his head at your utter confusion. It had never once occurred to him that you might not understand the tradition of getting down on one knee, but he was a man of his time and he’d be damned if he didn’t do it for you. 

“Everything I have is because of you babygirl. My pups, my home, my fucking sanity, I wouldn’t have any of it if it weren’t for you. And I will spend the rest of my life loving you as best as I can. My heart is yours honey, now and forever. So, will you marry me?”

Joel slipped the ring from his pocket, wishing like hell he could have found a box for it in time, but the sentiment would have to do. Plus, he had to admit, the family heirloom was pretty damn impressive. An emerald sat at the center, wrapped in a thin line of peridot, with a thin gold band that glinted in the candlelight. 

“W-Where did you get this?! This is my grandmother’s ring! I don’t understand. M-My dad was supposed to save it for me but then the world ended and he… Well, he fucking died. How the hell do you have this?,” you stammered, astonished by the small piece of jewelry. 

“Your mama kept it,” Joel answered with an earnest smile, “She said that he wanted you to have it someday when you found the right person, so she um… She gave it to me so I could ask ya darling. I know that I never knew him but I… Well, I hope that’s okay.” 

“Oh my god, Joel!,” you cried out as you threw yourself at him. 

A small oomph came from his lips, the force of your body hitting his chest nearly knocking him to the floor, but Joel managed to get his balance. He wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to weep into his neck and babble about how overboard everything was. 

“So, uh… Is that a yes?,” he asked, unsure if the display of emotions was a positive thing or not. 

As quickly as you had nearly tackled him, you were pulling away, placing a plethora of kisses all over Joel’s face as you repeated your answer again and again. 

“Yes.”

A kiss to the forehead. 

“Yes.” 

His nose. 

“Yes.” 

Both of his cheeks. 

“Fucking a million times yes.” 

The last kiss was dropped onto Joel’s lips, effectively sealing the deal and forcing his heart to strain against the confines of his ribcage once more. He dove into it, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of your tongue sliding against his, in the way you tugged at his hair and moaned into his mouth. All consumed by you, he could hardly keep in his pained whine when you pulled away much too soon. However, when you extended your left hand to him, fluttering your fingers with an excited grin, he couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed. 

Instead, Joel grabbed your hand, placing a kiss to the back of it before he carefully slid the ring on. He held his breath, praying that it would fit, only for it to slide home like it was meant to be there all along. The air in his lungs halted when he looked down at it, a chemical reaction going off in his brain that had moisture gathering in his eyes as his cock simultaneously twitched to life in his boxers. 

“I love you sweet girl, more than anything,” Joel breathed, completely in awe at the sight of the ring glimmering in the candlelight. 

“I love you too Joel. I never thought I’d meet someone who loved me so much, someone so…,” you sighed as you cupped his face, “Perfect for me. I mean, I never thought I’d be able to choose. Then there was Paul and that stupid wedding. Fuck, I never even said yes but it didn’t matter.” 

Joel growled, a deep resentment for that awful man bubbling up to the surface. It didn’t matter that the piece of shit had been dead for years, his ghost still managed to stir up some rage. 

“Baby, I need you to understand that I will never treat you like that asshole did. I love you, I’d rather fucking die than hurt you. And if anyone ever threatens you or our pups, I will kill them myself,” he hissed through gritted teeth. 

“I know Joel, that’s one of the many reasons I’m saying yes,” you grinned, rubbing a hand over his chest until he released the tension there, “For most of my life, I felt like I was sleepwalking, but then I met you and you changed my life. You understand me in a way that nobody ever has, you showed me that I had a voice, that I could choose and I choose this. I choose you, forever.” 

“Oh sweetheart, you’re giving me waaaay too much credit. That was all you, my strong girl. You found your own voice honey, not me,” Joel admonished, heart swollen with pride as he thought about the confidence you had gained in the past five years. 

“Maybe, but I couldn’t have done it without your help. All I had ever heard was that I was worthless, that I was stupid, that I didn’t deserve respect. But you? You actually listened to me and for the first time in my life, I had someone who loved me, someone who didn’t tear me down. I might have found my own voice but Joel, it was you who gave me confidence to do it.” 

“Goddamn honey, how am I supposed to follow that? I can’t believe you’ve outdone me at the proposal that I planned,” Joel groaned, making you giggle at his theatrics, “I can’t even begin to explain how proud I am to call you mine. You’re the smartest, kindest, most beautiful and strong person that I know. And until I die honey, I’m yours. I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, now kiss me.”

The two of you met in the middle, a surge of electricity setting all of Joel’s nerves alight as his lips moved against yours. His hands grabbed at your ass, kneading the flesh beneath his fingers as you tugged on his curls like you could fuse the two of you together. Sweat formed at his hairline, the heat of the room turning downright tropical as his greedy hands grabbed every part of you he could reach. One twirl of the tongue from you and Joel was done, grunting into the kiss as he picked you up and walked to the edge of the bed. He bit your lip, causing you to whine unabashedly and grind down against the bulge in his jeans. The zipper dug into his hardened length, the sensation only worsened by the sound of your pretty moans riling him up even more. 

“Do you like rubbin’ that little cunt all over me? Tell me, who’s making that pretty pussy gush? God, she’s just so needy, isn’t she? Talk to me sweet girl,” Joel panted, unable to keep himself from shivering as you licked a stripe up the side of his neck. 

“Shit, you Joel. Only you. Need you to - ah - need you to fuck me,” you keened, already gone despite the fact that he had barely touched you yet. 

Joel grinned wolfishly, allowing you to grind against him as he sucked at the skin along your neck. His hands wandered under your shirt, drifting over your hips, across your belly, and up under the swell of your breasts. Joel nudged the pesky bra aside, sneaking his hands into the cups so that he could toy with your nipples until they were swollen and stiff. All he had to do was bite down on the sensitive skin a bit harder while he plucked at your overly sensitive peaks and you were done, letting out an uncharacteristic low warning growl. He grinned, loving how worked up you got when he toyed with you like this. 

“Are you trying to kill me?,” you grouched, all flushed and sweaty as you glared at him, 

He laughed and shook his head, “Quite the opposite sweetheart.” 

The moan you let out as Joel’s lips crashed into yours was better than any symphony, causing his knees to almost give out from the sheer beauty of it. For two weeks, the forces of life had kept him from having you this way, forcing him into a state that was embarrassingly needy. Joel needed to hear more, to tear that blinding pleasure from your core until all that could be heard throughout the room was the muffled cries as you released again and again. It riled him up just to think about it. With his cock beginning to ache against his zipper, he flung you onto the bed, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as he watched you bounce against the mattress. 

“Take it all off. Need to see all of you honey. Shit, you’re so fucking sexy baby,” Joel commanded, his tone somehow both domineering and desperate.

Shaky hands peeled off your scant layers one by one, revealing a sight that Joel could only describe as excruciatingly beautiful. His eyes burned as he gazed upon your naked body, almost as if his retinas knew that what they were witnessing was the embodiment of divinity itself. It was as if you had fallen straight from the heavens, kindly enough to grant him a small glimpse at paradise. 

Joel stared at your soft skin, entranced by how smooth it looked compared to his. He trailed his gaze downwards, practically foaming at the mouth as he watched your pert nipples harden in the air. His mouth watered as he imagined himself launching forward, sucking and biting at them as you squealed in delight, but he had to wait. 

After two weeks with nothing, Joel wanted everything. He wanted to flip you over and drill into you like a maniac, tugging at your hair as you begged him to pump you full. He wanted to throw one of your legs over his shoulder and ease into you, kissing every inch of your face as he listed the many reasons he had fallen for you. But more than anything, Joel wanted control, to be precise in his movements in order to bring you the most pleasure he possibly could. And based on the dark look in your eye as your hips bucked up against nothing, there was only one way he could do that. You wanted him to be fucking filthy. 

“Touch yourself for me sweet girl, play with yourself just like we practiced,” he drawled, stepping forward so that he had a clear view of what lay in between your thick thighs. 

What Joel expected you to do was rub your slick cunt, perhaps stopping to tweak at your nipples first to playfully tease him. But what he didn’t expect was for you to bat your eyelashes at him, smiling as you shoved two fingers into your mouth. His eyes bulged out of his head, cock jumping at the sight of his mate fucking her own mouth with one hand while squeezing her breasts with the other. The noises you were making were lewd, the soft gagging making him sweat and regret all of his decisions immediately, but he stayed rooted to his spot. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to, the sight alone was enough to make him cum in his pants and he was worried that any slight movement would make him explode. 

“Jesus fucking Christ baby, just like that. Like choking yourself honey? Bet you wish it was daddy doing it for ya. Shit, you’re such a dirty girl, so good for me,” Joel groaned, his pained voice almost getting lost by the whines you let out around the digits. 

Nodding, you let the hand tweaking at your sensitive nipples drift downwards. Joel swallowed hard as you opened up your legs for him, revealing the drenched slit that begged for his attention. The smell of your arousal hit him like a freight train and he quickly unleashed his cock, squeezing it around the base to calm himself down. Grinning around the fingers that continued to thrust away at your throat, you reached down to toy with your neglected clit. Gentle fingers brushed over the swollen nub again and again, until slick was dripping down your wrist. He watched as you started with small circles, teasing yourself into the pleasure just as he had taught you, until you were ready for more. 

“C’mon darling, I can tell that she’s fucking starving for something inside of her. Be a good girl and give her two of those pretty fingers, wanna see her cry for me,” Joel ordered, although with how turned on he was, it sounded more like a whine. 

“Mmm-hmm,” you replied through a full mouth, thrusting two fingers deep inside of your pussy without another word. 

Joel groaned at the way your walls immediately clenched around the digits, sucking them in as you started to fuck your needy cunt. Slick dripped down from your quivering entrance, ruining the sheets below, but he didn’t give a shit. He’d happily sleep in the wet spot if it meant he got to witness such a erotic display. The way your garbled moans spilled around your fingers as you pressed a thumb against your clit almost brought Joel to his knees. Completely entranced by your pussy, he didn’t even notice that you had taken your drenched fingers out of your mouth until you called out to him. 

“Come here alpha,” you sighed, heavy lidded eyes staring him down like he was the prey. 

Those words hooked into Joel’s chest, leaving him no other choice but to stumble forward like a fool the second he heard them. He had almost rounded the bed when he saw your spit soaked fingers trail down, reaching past your pussy to toy with that tight ring of muscle that you had allowed him to take a handful of times. A flash of heat burned through Joel’s lower abdomen as he realized what your intentions were, forcing him to halt and squeeze the base of his cock again to keep himself from cumming like some sort of riled up teenager. If that wasn’t enough, the sound of the guttural groan you let as you slipped one, then two fingers inside of your ass could have killed him right then and there. 

“Jesus honey, what are you trying to fucking do? Kill me? S’not playing fair,” he moaned, almost losing it when the fingers in your ass started to thrust in time with the ones in your pussy. 

“Who s-said anyth- fuck - anything about playing fair?,” you breathily teased. 

Joel cussed, kicking himself for teaching you his ways as he tried to keep himself from dissolving into a mess of desperate pleas. He growled and shook his head, trying to remember the original request you had made for him to join you. Every step of the way, his eyes darted from your overstuffed core to your flushed face, his mind spinning with all the filthy things he wanted to do to you. By the time he got there, he was semi-convinced that he was dreaming. It was all too good to be true. 

“Closer,” you whined.

It was so desperate, so wanton, that Joel had no choice but to abide by it. He shuffled closer, until his thighs brushed against the sheets and his cock nearly touched the side of your head. 

“Where do you want me sweetheart? Fuck, just me where you need me and I’ll be there. Is this what you mea- hey! Oh shit,” he groaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as you turned and captured the reddened tip between your lips. 

A sweat broke out on Joel’s forehead as he looked down, watching with a slack jaw as you took him halfway down your throat and swallowed around him. He didn’t know what to say, so shocked by your actions that he couldn’t even reprimand you for foiling his plan. Instead, he hissed through his teeth as you started to bob your head, his gaze frantically switching between you fucking both of your holes with abandon and the sight of you taking his cock down your throat like a pro. 

“F-fuck yeah baby, that’s it,” he cussed, reaching forward to brush the hair away from your face, “Got all of your slutty little holes filled, hm? How’s it feel to be such a fucking whore for daddy? Oh my god, that’s it - ngh - just like that. Bet she misses me, pussy loves when I stretch her out.” 

The noise you made around Joel’s cock was nearly incoherent, but it sounded vaguely like a yes. He chuckled, locking eyes with you as he started to thrust in and out of your mouth. Keeping it slow for the first few strokes, he grinned at how well you took him, with nothing but pure lust staring back at him through unshed tears. You were just as famished as Joel, practically begging him with your eyes to be a little rough, to remind you how much he yearned to be inside of you at all hours of the day. So after your throat relaxed, he picked up the pace, groaning at the feeling of you moaning around him as he fucked your face.  

“Nngh, oh darling, look at how wet she is. That pussy is just beggin’ to cum for me, isn’t she? F-Fuck yes baby, c’mon. Fuck her a little harder for me,” Joel taunted. 

The way you fought against the tears in your eyes, batting them at Joel so prettily as you gagged around the big cock that slammed into the back of your throat with each animalistic thrust was too perfect, and he found himself moaning embarrassingly loud. With your thighs shaking, fingers thrusting desperately in and out of your gushing cunt, he could see that you were right on the edge. All you needed was one last push to launch you into space so, he did the only thing he could think of. 

Sputtering as Joel tore his cock away, you cried out, blinking wildly as you tried to comprehend what was happening. But before you could, he grabbed your face, leaning down so that he could look you right in the eye. 

“I think I know what ya want honey, but I’m just checking. Are you okay if I get a bit rough? I promise I’ll make you feel so good baby,” he asked, gently wiping some stray tears away.

A chirp of excitement came from you, along with an enthusiastic nod as you nuzzled the hand that cleaned the fluids from your face. 

“Good girl, just tell me if it gets too much,” Joel cooed, giving you one last soft caress before he hardened his stance again, “Now, open that mouth for me.” 

You obliged, even rolling your tongue out in a way that made Joel suck in a harsh breath between his teeth. He gathered all of the spit in his mouth, letting it drip down into your own. Without even having to be asked, you snapped your mouth shut, waiting patiently for him to tell you to swallow it. The way you looked at him was downright filthy, but not as filthy as the wanton moan you let out when he suddenly reared his hand back and slapped you straight across the face. He didn’t do it too hard, just enough so that the sting would add to the pressure growing between your legs. 

“Swallow it,” he snapped. 

You did, whimpering as you opened your mouth to show him that it was gone. The fingers in your core were halted, which made him tsk. 

“I never said you could stop.” 

Joel swooped down so that he could look you in the eye as your fingers started moving again, covering your mouth with his palm to muffle your high pitched whines. The wet sounds coming from your core increased the harder he stared, the fingers in your holes trying desperately to bring you up over the edge. Despite his cruel demeanor, he smiled when he felt your lips pucker beneath his palm, unable to keep himself from softening as you kissed his hand.  

“Aw, so sweet f’me honey. Such a good little slut. Fuck, always look so sexy playing with your holes. I bet that little pussy wants to cum, doesn’t she baby? I can see her twitching.That's alright, cum for me darling, want to watch her cry.” 

Joel didn’t look away from your face as you came, unwilling to miss a second of it. He watched as your face scrunched up, tears falling from your eyes as they rolled back in pleasure, taking note of every expression so that he could use it for later. With how frequently the two of you fucked and how often he found himself taking mental snapshots of your blissed out face, it was a wonder Joel got anything done with how large of an archive he had acquired over the years. Could he remember what he had for breakfast that very morning? Hell no. But could he remember exactly how many times he had made you cum and in what positions on your birthday three years ago? Absolutely. 

“Fuuuck, Joel,” you cried out as his hand left your face, followed by a sharp gasp as he ripped the fingers from your core and climbed over you. 

“I know baby, did so fucking good for me. My mate, my omega, my fucking wife, all mine. You hear that honey? Nobody else can have you like this, s’all for me,” he rambled, cock twitching at the sight of the ring wrapped around your drenched fingers. 

A gasp, followed by a litany of swears came from you as Joel leaned down and clamped down on your gland, worrying the skin under his teeth in a way that had you both making obscene sounds. He wasn’t sure what it was, but all he could think about was the day that the two of you bonded, the day that his life had come together again in a way that finally made sense. It was enough to make him bite down even harder, rendering you absolutely useless by the time he pulled back to stare at you through heavy lidded eyes. 

“I fucking love you sweetheart, so good for me. Always so fucking beautiful - shit - you drive me insane. Fuck, just wanna make you feel good, wanna keep that pussy stuffed like she deserves forever,” Joel growled, wrestling with the remainder of his clothes so that he could feel every inch of your skin against his. 

“Joel, fuck. There could never be anyone else baby, it’s you, you’ve ruined me,” you whined, reaching out to him with a pained expression, “But I love it daddy, love the filthy things you say, the way you love me, how your big cock feels inside of me. P-Please, I need it, need you alpha.” 

The last part was spoken not as a request, but as a call to his very nature. It awoke something ferocious inside of Joel, the same something that screamed at him to keep you swollen with his pups every single day of his life. His sanity drifted away, replaced only by the need to heed the call of his desperate omega that needed him to fulfill his duty. And you were no better. By the time his pants finally hit the floor, you were gone, bucking your hips at him and writhing against the drenched sheets as you wailed. The air had grown thick, both of your scents mixing together in a way that had his mouth watering and his cock aching, but the loud cry of his name you let out snapped him out of it. 

“Hush now baby, s’okay. Daddy’s gotcha, m’gonna make it all better,” Joel promised, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your forehead before he pulled your hips towards him. 

Dragging your hips upwards, Joel kneeled against the mattress and ripped your legs apart. He placed them on each of his shoulders, rendering you absolutely useless as he laid you back against his thighs. The weight of his cock was heavy against your mound, providing the both of you with the jaw dropping sight of just how deep he was about to spear into you. With your shoulder blades pressed into the bed while your lower half was held up by nothing but his brute strength, Joel was seconds from passing out. He couldn’t get over how enchanting you looked with your back arched against his thighs, body on full display for his ravenous gaze. 

“Look at that baby, see how deep she's gonna take me? Fuck, always so tight. Such a pretty pussy, so wet and ready for me every time,” he moaned, panting as he dragged himself through your sticky folds, “What more do I have to do? Already fucked another baby into her but she wants more from daddy, doesn’t she?”

“Please,” you breathed. 

“Please what sweetheart?” 

“Please, may I have your c - oooh fuck,” you squealed, choking on air as he buried himself all the way to the hilt. 

Before you had a chance to catch your breath, Joel was off, lifting you up and down, using you in a way that had your pussy twitching around him in seconds. With how sensitive the pregnancy had made you, he wasn’t surprised that you were already so close. Each thrust hammered against your g-spot, dragging you towards an even more explosive end. He chuckled as you tried and failed to speak, amused by how easy he could take you apart like this. And Joel was no better, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he watched your tits bounce, the swollen nipples almost as enticing as the protruding belly that he had given you. 

Joel was so wrapped up in the way you shook and moaned beneath him that he didn’t even realize how close you were until you suddenly let out a pinched whine, glossy eyes begging him for something, anything. His lungs burned from his relentless pace, sweat dampening his hairline as he continued to plough into you but he kept going. It was not usual for him to have you like this, so wanton and open, with no fear of anything or anyone interrupting and he needed to take advantage of it properly. There was no need for him to worry about the bed slamming into the wall, or the sound of his thighs clapping against the cradle of your hips as he drove into you, he could fuck you just how you wanted.

“I know, I know babygirl. She’s so desperate isn’t she? Can’t even let go unless daddy tells her to. S’alright honey, cum for me, I know you want to,” Joel demanded, hissing through his teeth when you answered by spraying him with a stream of slick, “Fuuck, just like that honey.”

Joel fucked you through it, uncaring of the way your body twitched from the overstimulation as he continued to jackhammer into you. It didn’t matter to him that you were barely cognitive, a mess of slick and tears as he pulled you up from his thighs and wrapped your legs around him. What mattered was making you understand just how obsessed with you he was. If it were up to him, this would be his job, pulling as much pleasure from your core as you would allow whenever you needed. 

A scream was muffled against his mouth when Joel pulled you up, the new angle somehow making him spear into you even deeper than before. The tip of his throbbing cock kissed your cervix, causing you to shudder and clamp down on him like vice. He whined at how tight your walls hugged him, clutching your hip hard with one hand while the other buried itself in your hair. Joel made a fist with your messy strands, tugging on your hair so he could hear the litany of curses you spat at him as even more slick dribbled into his lap. 

“Shit darling, love this, love you so much. So pretty, so smart, so sweet, I can’t - fuck - can’t believe you’re mine and I’m-  ungh - I’m yours. Never gonna want anyone else, never needed anyone else before you, my sweet girl, my wife - oh fuuuuck. You’re gonna be my fucking wife.” 

The feeling of your warm breath against his neck was driving him crazy, along with the way you moaned oh so sweetly as you came around him yet again, your walls weakly clutching at the base of his cock, trying desperately to tease his knot inside. Teeth buried themselves into his gland and Joel made a warning noise, his thrusts stuttering for just a moment before he got himself back in check. He was a man possessed, completely deranged in his incessant need to bring you mind numbing pleasure. 

Joel wasn’t sure, but he had an idea of what was making him so feral. Each flash of the rock on your hand made his cock scream for release. The rock, the bite mark he had left on your neck, the pregnant belly he had given you, the way you looked up at him oh so lovingly, it all spoke to the beast within. A possessive streak bubbled up from deep inside, making Joel absolutely insatiable despite the crescent moons you dug into his skin as another wave of pleasure soon followed the last. As your orgasm petered off, he pulled his glistening cock out, ignoring your choked sob as he flipped you over onto your hands and knees. 

“No, no, no, no, no, please. N-Need you daddy, Joel, alpha, please, I c-can’t,” you cried, dutifully folding over the pillow he shoved underneath your belly to protect it as he forced his way back inside. 

A garbled scream was muffled into the sheets as Joel slid home, followed by a desperate whine as he pulled your cheeks apart to look at the hole he had been neglecting. 

“M’not going anywhere sweetheart, gonna make you cum until you can’t see. Then m’gonna give you want, gonna fill you up so good that you’re leaking for days,” he promised, chuckling at the way you clenched around him as he teased the puckered skin. 

“Please,” was whispered into the mattress, followed by a broken wail as Joel started to thrust once more. 

One hand snuck into your hair, forcing you to arch against him so that his cock nailed that devastating spot every single time. Joel gritted his teeth, the sound of your high pitched mewls and his heavy sack slapping your clit making his stomach clench. He groaned as you started to throw yourself back onto him, so far gone that he wasn’t even sure you were speaking English anymore. Chuckling at the endless stream of nonsense, he continued to tease your back entrance, pressing tight the ring of muscle until you let out a garbled demand that forced him to shove two fingers inside. It was quite the stretch, with his thick fingers more than double the size of your own, but the wad of spit he let fall from his mouth eased the glide. 

“More, more, more, more,” you sobbed, legs shaking as he started to thrust his fingers in time with his cock. 

Joel swore, “Such a slut for me, aren’t ya? Both of these greedy holes are filled up baby, what more do you want? What does daddy need to do? Want me to take you the Bison and you fuck you on the bar? Want me to break that little cunt open in front of everyone? Show the whole town just how good that pretty pussy is at taking daddy’s cock?” 

A broken cry tumbled from your lips, rivulets of your cum running down his thighs as you reached your peak, this one even more brutal than the last. How many times had Joel made you cum so far? He had lost count, all he knew was that he needed to keep going. The pleas you were letting out were getting downright sinful, nothing but jumbled nonsense that made his balls draw up, forcing him to chew on the inside of his cheek to work through it. The sweet, nonsensical pleas would have broken his heart, if he didn’t know how much you fucking loved it when he treated you like this. After spending the day calling all of the shots, running the clinic, while also being a mom, what you needed was for someone to take the reins. 

And Joel was more than happy to. The way you undulated beneath him, working yourself back against his steadily throbbing cock, made him want to propose to you all over again. You were slack jawed and shaking with every brutal thrust Joel gave you, making him thank ever higher power above that his stamina hadn’t wavered despite his age. He didn’t care if it killed him, he would continue fuck you into the mattress until his legs gave out. It didn’t matter that his cock was aching, knot demanding to be locked inside as he continued to fuck you silly, what mattered was making good on his promise to break you into a million little pieces. That’s what his mate deserved, what his wife deserved. 

“J-Joel - mmfph - I can’t, need more,” you choked, gripping his arms hard as you tried to muscle through the sharp bolts of pleasure Joel was pulling from your swollen pussy, “Need you closer, want you close to me, please daddy. I can’t - I don’t wanna, not without you, please, please…”

The desperation in your voice this time was different, like you would die if Joel didn’t give you a taste of adoration, and he quickly pulled out so that he could flip you around again. However, upon turning you over, he immediately regretted the decision as he grabbed the base of his cock to stave off the cum that threatened to spurt out of him. Sweat glistened across your skin, illuminating your figure beautifully in the soft candlelight. 

If Joel was a smarter or more creative man, he would write poems about the gorgeous woman beneath him. You were ethereal, glowing with the pregnancy and drenched in lust, all while you looked at him like HE was the perfect one. It broke through every single one of his defenses and set his heart on fire. The hand adorned with a glittering ring reached out to Joel and he smiled, plucking it from the air so that he could kiss the back of it. You tugged on his hand, letting out a soft come here that had him climbing over you in seconds. 

“Darling, I could live a million lives and still never get over how fucking beautiful you are. Like a goddamn goddess babygirl, and I don’t tell you nearly as much as I should. Just so, so sexy. And you want to be with me forever? Fuck, I’m a lucky man,” Joel praised as he placed a smattering of kisses over your face. 

You giggled at his soft touch, “You tell me every day Joel, I think you’re in the clear.” 

He shook his head, giving you a cheeky grin before he said, “Then I should tell ya twice.” 

The laugh you let out in response was cut off by Joel easing himself back inside. He smiled as you wrapped your shaky legs around him, allowing him to slide in just a few more inches. His forearms bracketed your head, giving you no choice but to look him in the eye as he started at a slow but forceful pace. Each thrust knocked the air out of your lungs and forced a small squeak from your lips, which he couldn’t help but think was so goddamn cute. 

“That’s it sweetheart, take it like I know ya can,” Joel sighed, letting his hands roam all over your sweaty body.  

The way you squeezed his cock and scratched at his back told him you were close. Joel pressed his mouth against yours, nipping at your swollen lips and sucking on your tongue until he was sure you were on the edge. Pulling away, he grunted at the feeling of your walls tightening up even more, hugging him almost painfully hard and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was doomed the second you let go. 

“Let me have it baby and I’ll give you what you want, shit. Dammit, I’ll fill that tight little pussy up so good sweetheart, just fucking cum for me. Know ya can do it, fu-uck, please. Christ honey, need to feel you choke my cock. Please, please, please,” Joel rambled, the desperation in his voice evident as his cock started to twitch. 

A squeak came from you, followed by a full body shudder as you released so hard that Joel had to trap you against him so that the force of it didn’t push him out. He groaned as you came, eyes rolling into the back of his head as your cunt greedily milked his reddened cock. With his lap soaked and your walls clenching around him so good, he couldn’t handle it anymore, thrusting forward so that he could lock himself inside. Joel let out an uncharacteristically high pitched whimper, calling your name like a goddamn whore as he released inside of you, right where his seed belonged. Thick torrents of cum spurted out of his cock, making you both moan as you both shook from the overwhelming surges of pleasures that just kept coming.

Again and again, Joel flooded your womb, until he was sure that if it was possible for him to somehow get you pregnant again, he would have. It was all so mind blowing that he found himself shaking under the weight of his own body, close to collapsing as the two of you were thrown off the edge once more. He groaned, rolling the both of you onto your sides so that he didn’t squash the precious bump that stuck out from your midsection with the next round of mind melting pleasure. 

“Oh fuck, Joel, I d-don’t, shit. Baby, that was so, oh my god,” you stammered, shaking like a newborn deer as you came down from the last wave. 

Joel held you close to him, tangling his legs with your own while he drew shapes on your hip bones and played with your hair. He nuzzled your neck, kissing the thin skin there until you had caught your breath and called his name. After giving your gland one last peck, he pulled away, coming face to face with a more disheveled version of you than he had seen in a while. The sight of it made his heart soar, knowing that it had been him who fucked you so good. 

“Beautiful honey, just the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen,” Joel confessed, unable to keep all the gooey-ness from spilling from his lips with how exhausted he was. 

“I love you,” you whispered, which only caused his heart to burn even brighter in the solace of the quiet lodge. 

“I love you too,” he answered, like it was the only thing in his life he had ever been sure of. 

And to a certain extent, it was. Joel’s love for you had been one of the first things he had been sure of in over twenty years. A light had filtered into his life again with just one smile from you, knocking him on his ass and driving away all his demons in an instant. Everything that had come since then, the bond, the twins, the home the two of you had made in Jackson, it was all a derivative of the love Joel had been so afraid of for decades. 

So, as Joel knocked his nose against yours and sighed at the way your fingers made soothing circles across his scalp, he couldn’t help but feel victorious. There was nothing else he had ever longed for as much as a family, a partner to love him as much as he loved them, a home to call his own, perhaps even a few pups that bore his image. But after the world had ended, after his first daughter had been torn from him so cruelly, he had resigned himself to a life of pain. And after Ellie died? Fate seemed to be giving him the middle finger, laughing at him for allowing himself to fall for it again. Joel had tucked away his sense of self, his hopes, his dreams, his humanity, anything that could possibly make him feel. 

But you? You had changed the game, stumbling into Joel’s life and unknowingly jumpstarting his heart in a way that had scared the absolute shit out of him. And after everything; the kidnapping, the arena, the cult, the traumatic birth of the twins, the murder of the two men that had threatened his peace, holding you in post engagement bliss made him want to gloat. It had taken fifty six years, but Joel had found a home, and he had you to thank for it. Laying one last kiss into your hair, he let himself drift, feeling like a champion of the odds for the first time in forever. 

- You - 

The nap that you had taken was necessary, given the relentless pounding Joel had rained down on your poor pussy after you had said yes to the proposal. It had been so mind breaking that you had awoken groggy and disoriented, unsure of where the hell you were until you caught the sparkling ring that now adorned your left hand. As carefully as you could, you disentangled yourself from Joel, wanting to get a better look at the heirloom that had been hidden from you for decades. 

The candles throughout the room flickered still, although most had gone out since you fell asleep. Padding towards the staircase, you stopped before the first step, casting a glance back at the devilishly handsome man that was your mate. Joel hugged the pillow that had just cradled your head, snuggling it closer to his chest as if it was you as he muttered nonsense in his sleep. That man loved you so much that it was surreal, like looking at the sun for too long as a curious child and coming away with dizzying holes in your vision. With one final glance, you turned back towards the steps, not wanting to wake the alpha that had so kindly fucked you into another dimension just a few hours earlier. 

Joel had been running on little to no sleep lately, too stubborn to wake you in the middle of the night when one of the twins came knocking. And with how many times he had just made you cum, you decided to let him rest for a bit longer before you jumped his bones again. Although, you had to admit that it was hard not to with how handsome Joel looked, naked and splayed out against the sheets. 

The first floor was slightly brighter, with many of the candles still going strong and the moonlight leaking in from the huge windows. You toyed with the ring as you drifted over to the table of treats, snagging the bowl of chocolate covered fruit to munch on as you stared out at the scenery. The trees shuddered under a gust of the humid wind, the warmth of it creeping in through the cracks of the molding. The quietness reminded you of the peaceful home that you had once shared with Joel in the forest. All of the memories, both bad and good, rushed over you in an instant, and  you couldn’t help but smile. It had all been worth it. 

Absentmindedly, you brushed a hand over the growing swell between your hips, smiling at the small kick that nudged you. There was a part of you that wanted to leave the comfort of the lodge so that you could bask in the cool waters and enjoy the sanctity of the forest, but you refrained. The last time the two of you had been separated in the woods, it hadn’t ended well and you weren’t willing to risk it again in the state you were in. The last thing you needed was the father of your children having a stroke when he realized that you had left the lodge without him, especially with how your last pregnancy had ended.  

Joel had relaxed some since then, but that didn’t mean he was particularly keen on letting you wander too far with how traumatizing the birth of the twins had been for the both of you. This time around, he stayed close, glaring at anyone in town that stared at you for too long no matter how many times you reminded him that he wasn’t hated in Jackson anymore. It was hard for people in town to stay mad at Joel when he had two pups who so clearly worshiped the ground he walked on, who babbled excitedly about their days to him as they strolled through the streets, all while he hung off of every word. He was a good dad, anyone could see it, and it forced everyone who once hated him to see the man he was, the man you loved. 

Plus, with how ruggedly handsome Joel was, you guessed it had something to do with that as well. He was the town handyman, and you knew just how good he looked while he worked, all sweaty and flushed as he put something back together. With how jaw dropping he was and how attentive he could be towards his family, you weren’t surprised how many residents suddenly needed various home appliances repaired. You didn’t mind. They could look all they liked, just so long as they also got a good look of Joel kissing you in the street, holding the swell that he had given you. Just so long as everyone in town knew that the sexy handyman belonged to you. 

Not that you were worried. With how relentless Joel’s public displays of affection had been since he found out about the newest edition, you were sure that the entirety of Jackson was well aware of the bond the two of you shared. He was so excited that it made you giddy, and it also made the pregnancy a lot less nerve racking than your first. That and the fact that you were pretty sure that there was only one pup this time around. Although you had no way of knowing, you remembered how much larger the bump had been and how drained you had felt growing two pups instead of one. Sure, there had still been the month of morning sickness, along with the unusual cravings and the mobility issues that came with growing a new life, but you were relieved at how much easier it was to only house one. 

Four years after the twins had come into the world and the fear that had once plagued your union was all but gone. Joel had become the man you knew he could be, the one he had always been capable of being but was too scared to after everything terrible that had happened to him. A part of you would like to think it had something to do with you, with how much the two of you loved each other, but you couldn’t discount the work he had put in. Being a dad again had terrified him, yet Joel had shown up for his pups and you every single day. You could tell that the responsibility of caring for Ellis and Alba at times felt like an anvil hanging above his head, could see it in the layer of sweat that glistened on his skin during the days that his past haunted him, but his broken heart had somehow started to mend around the people he loved. 

And now Joel was your fiance. Or was he your husband now? You had no idea how this was supposed to work. The only weddings you had been to had all been awful, including your own travesty that had ended with you being shoved out the window by the two women in your life that loved you the most. Was the puffy white dress and boring churchy vows what you wanted? Surely not, but you had never experienced anything else. Not to mention the fact that the proposal had taken you completely off guard. Regardless of the few comments Joel had made over the five years of being together, along with the matching bite marks and house filled with his kids, you were never sure if it was something he truly wanted. Hell, you weren’t even about it until you saw the beautifully broad man down on one knee. 

Although the purpose of such a gallant display had eluded you, the sight of the ring had drawn something out, the ghost of a memory long since forgotten. It sent you back to a time before Joel, or Josiah, or even Jake, when the world had been free of infected beings that shambled around in search of fresh meat. It was then that you had watched your parents laugh as they danced around the kitchen, had seen the princess meet her prince charming in one of the few films you were able to squeeze in before the world fell apart. As any little girl would, you had begun to dream of Prince Charming, someone who would love you unconditionally and be your best friend for the rest of your life. Never once had the younger dreamed that you would find him in the way you did, but every day since the first had proved to you that dreams could come true. 

Even if one of the many adversaries had succeeded, at the very least you would have been able to say that you had been truly loved and known by someone beautiful. The way you felt about Joel Miller was intense. It was like being in love with the wind itself. He was all encompassing, wrapping around you during every storm and carrying you away from the merciless talons of reality. But it could also be gentle, soothing you on days when it felt like everything and everyone was against you. 

Joel knew every piece of you, even the pieces that you had tried desperately to hide, and he loved them all. He could take you apart and put you back together without even breaking a sweat. And you tried to do the same for him, every single day. Which was why you didn’t care if Joel wanted a big ceremony, a small agreement in front of the family, or just a set of rings for one another. He was your mate, the love of your life, the father of your children, and your fucking husband as far as you were concerned. The specifics meant little to you when the end result was spending the rest of your life being loved by such a goddamn hunk. 

“How’d I know you’d be down here getting into the chocolate?,” a syrupy voice, still thick from sleep, drawled from the bottom of the stairs. 

The smile that spread across your face was involuntary, along with the small flutter of your heart. That was the effect Joel Miller had on you. Even after five years, two rowdy kids and another on the way, he could still make you weak in the knees. Before you had a chance to turn, Joel was already at your side, spinning you around and bending down to kiss you. He flooded your senses as his lips moved against yours, leaving you dazed that you missed when he snuck a hand into the bowl of sweet treats you held and stole one. As Joel pulled away, you laughed and beamed up at him, admiring how his curls looked all tousled from sleep. Although it had only been a few hours, he somehow looked completely refreshed, like all he had truly needed was a few hours buried in between your thighs and a quick nap to rejuvenate. 

“Hm, maybe don’t knock me up if you want me to stay in bed and wait around for your ass to wake up babe. Mama was starving,” you shot back, giggling at the wary look he sent your way. 

“Last time I checked, it was you that was begging me to cum inside and get you all round again. It takes two to tango sweetheart,” Joel joked, shaking his head at the jab, “You know, you could’ve woke me up honey. I would’ve gotten you something to eat, s’not good for you or her to wait if you’re hungry.” 

“Roger that cowboy, no naps for you,” you teased, getting up on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips, “Don’t worry Joel, I was fine. Plus, I really just wanted to get a better look at this bad boy. It’s just so pretty.” 

Joel grinned at that, plucking the hand in question from your belly to examine it himself. The way he lit up - god - it made you want to rewind time so that you could see it over and over again. He kissed the finger that he had adorned with the ring, admiring the shiny jewels for another second before he placed your palm over his steadily beating heart. 

“M’glad you like it sweet girl. I wasn’t sure how you'd feel about it all. We’ve never really talked about getting married, especially not since Ellis and Alba came, but I knew that if I didn’t ask I’d regret it for the rest of my life. You’re my missing piece honey, and I want to be yours in every single way I can,” Joel admitted, his words hitting you square in the chest. 

“Baby,” you admonished, “I can’t believe you thought I’d say no. It’s only ever been you and I’d like to keep it that way. You’re a part of me Joel, it feels like I can’t breathe when you’re not around. All I do while we’re apart is think about you and how much I love you. Fuck, or how good it feels to have you love me back. There’s nothing I’d rather do than - ah!”

You squeaked as Joel abruptly picked you up, kissing every inch of your face and neck as he carried you across the room. The nearly empty bowl was torn from your grasp, slammed down onto the coffee table before he fell back onto the couch with you in his lap. A series of giggles came from you as his mustache tickled your skin, only intensifying as Joel laid you back against the cushions and relentlessly tickled your sides. His laugh bounced off the high ceilings as he playfully wrestled you into a mess of breathless cackling. It was only when you begged him to stop that the assault finally ended. He pulled back to let you get some air, leaning over you with a soft smile as he did. 

“I know that you love me darling, I just get nervous sometimes,” Joel said as he knocked his forehead against yours, “A good nervous honey, like I’m going to go nuts if I don’t remind you how much that I love ya. I just… I needed it to be perfect baby, you deserve nothing less.” 

“It was Joel, I loved it. And for the record, I would have said yes if you asked while I was on the toilet. Don’t get me wrong, this is probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever experienced, but all I need is you baby. That’s all there has to be for it to be perfect Joel, just you,” you cooed. 

And it was true. The grand gesture was heartwarming and amazing, but unnecessary. Joel could have asked you at the Tipsy Bison over greasy steak sandwiches, he could have asked you at the end of dinner while you both cleared the table, he could have asked you when you were curled up in bed with your reading glasses on while you thumbed through a book, or hell, like you said; he could’ve asked you on the toilet. In any scenario, you would have accepted and remembered the moment as one of the top ten of your lifetime. Joel was what made the whole thing special. 

“Christ darling, I’m the luckiest man alive. I thought for sure you were gonna say no when you started asking me what the hell I was doing, damn near shit my pants,” Joel laughed, letting the weight of the admission roll off of his shoulders. 

“To be fair, you don’t usually get down on your knees for me,” you chuckled. 

The look Joel gave you at that statement was pointed, as if to say, do you wanna bet? It made you flush and giggle, rolling your eyes at his innuendo. Of course, he did get on his knees for you quite a bit, more so than you did for him as of late, but that wasn’t what you had meant. He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you groaned, playfully shoving at shoulders until he relented. 

“Okay, you do get on your knees for me quite a bit. My bad baby, that was a poor choice of words. What I meant was… Well, you don’t usually get down on one knee for me. I didn’t understand what you were doing. For a second I thought that you were trying to help me take my shoes off like you used to when I was pregnant with the twins and I was about to tell you to get the hell up but then you started saying all of these incredibly sweet things,” you explained. 

Joel guffawed, “Have you really never seen anyone do that? I guess I don’t really know what people do nowadays, but that used to be what ya did when you proposed. It’s tradition.” 

Scrunching your nose, you tried to pry out any memory of the odd practice from your brain but came up blank. Perhaps you had seen it in passing on a TV show as a kid, but any recollections of that were long gone. All that remained were the memories of various community members, your mother, Jake, Cooper, and finally yourself, being dragged towards the council to be matched up with someone. It never mattered to those people what anyone thought about their designated match. Paul never got down on one knee, he just made a shady deal with your stepfather and boom, he was assigned to be your husband. 

“No, I’ve never seen it. Where I’m from, alphas would never get down on their knees - in any context - for their omega. They just bought them by making a deal with someone on the council and then there would be a wedding. Nobody gave a fuck what we thought,” you admitted quietly, sighing as your past bubbled up from the depths once more. 

The way Joel’s face dropped made you frown, but he was quick to haul you up, maneuvering you until you were straddling his lap again. His face was wide open as he gazed upon you, uncaring of the mess the two of you were as he brushed his hands over every inch of your naked body. Peering at Joel in the soft light, he too was a mess of sweat and cum. It didn’t make you nervous to be so bare in front of him anymore, he had seen it all by now. In fact, it made you feel like you were on solid ground, like the two of you were equals in the soft glow of the candlelight. 

“M’sorry baby, I didn’t even consider that,” Joel sighed, “I guess that I always just dreamed of doing it that way. It’s a real old tradition that’s supposed to be a sign of devotion, of love, which is why I thought it was fitting. There’s no one else I’m more devoted to, or love more than you honey. You and our pups, that’s it, s’all I need.”  

A rush of dopamine filled you, his sweet words making you practically glow. Perhaps Joel was not the Prince Charming most people would dream of but he was yours, and he somehow always knew just how to make you squirm like a lovestruck teenager. 

“Please don’t apologize Joel. I didn’t understand, but I still loved it and I…” you trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence. 

With nothing else to say, you pressed your lips against his. Joel hummed, cradling your face as he allowed you to take charge. The kiss was slow and loving, leaving the both of you yearning to weld yourselves to one another so that you’d never have to part. If you could, you’d keep him in your back pocket instead of leaving for the clinic every day but that was impossible. Joel had a job to do and the twins needed parents that weren’t so busy mooning over each other that they forgot to feed them. But you supposed that these moments were for that, cherishing one another in the solitude of a paradise found. 

“Darling, whatever you need, I’ve got you,” he sighed as he pulled back. 

You grinned and nuzzled his jaw, breathing his scent for another few seconds until the spicy aroma coated the back of your throat. Pulling away, you smiled at his heavy lidded eyes, reveling in the fact that you could get Joel drunk off of you with just the briefest of touches. The air was thick, the candles and your overheated bodies seeming to make the summer night even more stifling, but you didn’t mind. With sweat covering every inch of you, along with a steady stream of his cum trickling down your thighs, you looked out at the fast moving waters outside. 

“What do you say we go for a dip?,” you asked as you turned towards him with a grin, “You did promise to take me swimming once.” 

Joel answered your grin with an even bigger one, nodding wildly as he pulled the both of you up from the couch. In seconds, the two of you were scampering towards the door, laughing like kids as you hurried towards the ultimate cool off. There was only one pause, when you begrudgingly slipped off the ring and left it on the table by the door to ensure that it didn’t get swept away, but then you were both back to racing towards the water. 

“Geronimo,” Joel called, his voice muffled by the heavy stream pounding off the rocks as he leaped from the bridge. 

You came to a halt at the very edge, waiting for him to surface before you followed him in. It was a bit daunting for you to jump into water without him, especially with the memory of your last dip in the moving waters of Montana still fresh in your mind. The grin he gave you when his head breached through the water was infectious, but that didn’t stop you from glancing at the edge of the swimming hole, remembering how you had almost drowned before being flung into one that looked just like it. 

A sinking feeling crept over you as your eyes followed the current, thinking about how you had shivered and puked after dragging yourself up onto the bank. You remembered crying out for Joel, despite the fact that he was nowhere to be found. Those memories were ones you tried hard to avoid, but the sight of the rushing waters flung you into the moments after you first jumped in and you drifted away from the man in the water who grinned at you.

The shock of the cold held you down beneath the waves and you felt your body quickly torn away from the shore. You flipped and somersaulted weightlessly in the rushing waters, every attempt at paddling to the surface useless against the current. More pain erupted from your side as the river slammed you against one of the rocks and a groan was muffled by the water. Desperate to breathe, you sucked in a mouthful of the frigid water but it stung your chest. Panic bloomed from within at the realization that you were drowning. 

Your lungs screamed for oxygen but you were stuck, shoved against the solid stone and weighed down by the rapids. Opening your eyes didn’t help, as all you could see from the bottom of the river was black. Was this it? Was this how you would die? You were infuriated at the thought. How could this be the thing that killed you? After everything you had been through, drowning seemed absolutely ridiculous. No, this couldn’t be it. Not with Joel somewhere alone and in pain. Not when you finally had a home.

“Come on sweetheart, what’s the hold up? Are ya chicken or something?,” Joel’s cut into your panic fueled remembrance, snapping you back to the present in an instant. 

You focused on the way Joel smiled at you, letting it bring you back down to earth. Joel Miller was right in front of you, he had survived the arena and you had survived going after the people that had made the mistake of taking him away from you. As scary as almost drowning had been, you didn’t die that day. And if Joel’s face wasn’t enough to soothe the swirling memories that locked you in place, all you had to do was look down at the swell sticking out from your tummy or think about the twins back home with their grandmother. They wouldn’t even exist if the worst had come to pass. A midnight swim in the river with the love of your life was not going to be the thing that killed you, the universe would have to try harder than that. 

“Not scared baby, just taking it all in,” you answered him, taking a deep breath before you leaped in behind him. 

There were no excruciating pins and needles from the temperature this time, nor were there ice chunks thumping you in the back, just a cool embrace that immediately shooed away the overwhelming heat that plagued you back in the lodge. That and the man that grinned at you as your head broke the surface made it perfect. Joel swam over in an instant, pulling you into the shallow end so he could wrap your legs around him. The two of you bobbed with the waves and you breathed a sigh of relief. The night had gotten progressively more humid, signaling an incoming burst of rain, but the water was perfect and so was he. 

“See, s’not so bad, is it sweet girl?,” Joel teased, whispering it into your ear as he nibbled on your neck. 

“Hmmm, nope,” you answered, tilting your head so that he could get better access to his mark, “Plus, the company is pretty good. I never thought I’d get to see you run but-ass naked into a river and yell geronimo, but now you’ve truly sold me on this whole marriage thing. My husband, the absolute dork.” 

He snorted, “Takes one to know darling.” 

With that, Joel bit down on your gland hard and you moaned. It was maddening how easily he could get to you, as you could already feel all of the tired muscles in your abdomen that had been fucked into submission tighten up again at the small move. He wasn’t ignorant of his abilities either. Each move by him was incredibly precise, like taking you apart was down to a mathematical equation that only he knew the answer to. The way Joel laved his tongue over the indents he made over your skin, his fingers digging into your asscheeks to keep you still as your hips began to twitch, all worked in tandem to have you dripping for him in seconds. 

The water, once so refreshing to the both of you, was now in the way of the heat growing between you, and Joel wasted no time pulling you from it. He laid you out against the soft ground, keeping his lips on yours the entire time. His tongue teased the seam of your mouth and you gladly let him in, sighing in frustration when he continued to err on the side of caution. Exasperated, you wrapped your legs around Joel and flipped the two of you over, straddling him just as a crack of lightning flashed through the sky. 

“Christ baby, maybe we should - ungh - oh fuck me,” he groaned, eyes going round as you grasped his length and dropped down hard. 

“I don’t care,” you snapped, lifting yourself up so that only the tip remained before you slammed down again. 

The pace you set was rough and desperate, Joel’s cock making your mind go completely blank as you rode him into slack jawed submission. He gripped your hips, your breasts, anything he could reach as raindrops started to fall from the sky. And still, you kept on going, moaning and throwing your head back like a depraved whore as another crack of lightning illuminated your bare skin. The rain started as a sprinkle at first, but it soon picked up, drenching the two of you as he grabbed your hips and began to help you ride him. 

“Fuck, just like that babygirl. Ungh, so fucking tight every time. Can you hear how wet she is for me? Goddammit, such a needy thing aren’t you? Can’t even wait to get inside, gotta have it out here. Christ, I fucking love you honey, such a good fucking girl for me,” Joel groaned. 

The words made you throw your head back, pace faltering slightly as your walls clenched and unclenched around him. With the curls around the base of his cock tickling your clit, his strong arms forcing you to stretch around his wide girth with every downstroke, you couldn’t help but lock up. A garbled shriek fell from your lips, dwarfed only by the sound of thunder, so close that it almost shook the ground. Still, you couldn’t find it in you to care about the danger, not when you were cumming and falling over him as you tore at his graying curls. 

“Joel, I can’t, ohmyfuckinggod, yes, yes, yes,” you mewled, shaking against him as the orgasm tore through you. 

Joel grunted as he flipped you over, tearing his cock out of you the seconds that the last vestiges of your orgasm petered away. Before you even had a chance to whine about it, he had already plucked you from the ground. He ignored all of your nonsensical pleas for him to release you, letting out a low growl when you tried to wiggle out of his grasp. That stilled you, along with the dark look he gave you. 

“Nope, stay fucking still,” Joel snipped, readjusting so that he could carry you bridal style towards the lodge, “S’not safe for you two out here. It’s way too dangerous, shouldn’t of even let you start but fuck, that pussy is just so fucking perfect. How could I say no to her?” 

“Joooel, c’mon, it’s fine!,” you pleaded, letting out a yelp when he leaned down and bit the spot on your neck that sent a wave of tingles down to your core. 

“Enough honey, I need to keep you safe - fuck - need to protect what is mine. My pup and my fucking wife can’t be out here in the storm. Need to take care of ya, so hush up,” he stammered, the truth behind his hardened features peaking through. 

The alpha in your mate was ready to breathe fire, causing Joel’s chest to rumble with useless threats pointed towards a force of nature of all things. He wouldn’t be soothed until you and his unborn pup were out of danger, even if the likelihood of you actually being struck by lightning were slim to none. Still, you didn’t fight him on it, too distracted by the way he continued to nip and suck at your neck each step of the way. As miffed as you were about the quick venue change, you had to admit, it was sexy when Joel let himself be overcome by his instincts. His need to fulfill his biological duty made you squirm in excitement, and you quickly decided to rile him up just a little bit more. 

“Shhh, I know baby,” you cooed in between soft moans, going crazy at the way Joel continued to spit possessive mantras between his teeth, “You’re so good at protecting us, so glad that’s I’m yours Joel. And you’re mine, do you hear that? Nobody else can have you - fuck - I fucking love you.” 

Joel let out a pained whine and pulled his face away from the love bites he had left as he neared the door. Any of the brown in his puppy dog eyes were gone, replaced by a pitch black that was ravenous for every inch of you. He ripped open the door, practically tearing it off as he marched inside and kicked it shut behind him. Ignoring the treats and the ridiculous amount of flowers, he hurried over to the couch so that he could throw you down against the cushions. 

“I’m yours darling, nobody else can make me feel like this,” Joel admitted, clambering between your thighs and tearing them apart so he could stare at your drenched slit, “And look at that, she’s still so fucking needy. Fucking hell, I gotta taste that sweet little pussy on my tongue.” 

Before you even had the chance to respond, Joel had lifted both of your legs up over his shoulders and was devouring your pussy like it was a four course meal. A slew of curse words fell from your lips, followed by a drawn out wail as he suckled your throbbing clit into his mouth. Joel chuckled against your folds as you pulled at his hair, yanking the strands and squirming so much that he had to double down on the hold he had on your hips. The way he was building you up was too much, sucking your nub even further into his mouth so he could bat at it with his tongue. The pressure inside of you continued to build, until you were sure it was going to kill you, but Joel knew you too well. Just as you started to suppress the urge to explode, he had already reached up to tweak at your nipples, giving you just enough stimulation to break.  

“Oh my god, f-fuck yes. Please daddy, m’gonna -  ouu shit,” you shrieked, shaking as liquid ecstasy flooded your veins. 

The way Joel groaned into your sopping cunt, his desperate sounds vibrating against you, had you twitching as the pleasure washed over you. He was relentless, sucking up every bit of moisture as slick poured out of you with each devastating wave. And just when it had petered off, when you thought he might let you go so that he could slam his cock back inside again, you felt him double down on his efforts. A choked whine was torn from your throat, ignored by Joel as he used you however he damn well pleased. It was only worse when you looked down and caught a glimpse of his pinched brow, moaning at the sight of his closed eyes as he focused all of his attention on forcing you into another orgasm. 

“D-Daddy please - ungh - SHIT baby, just like that. Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum again already. Ooooooh my fucking god!,” you cried out, thrashing against his hold as your walls began to clench around nothing. 

A request was on the tip of your tongue, but Joel was much too attuned to your every desire. As the storm raged outside, the rain now pounding against the windows and the thunder making the foundation shudder, the embarrassingly loud praises were drowned out as he slipped two, then one more finger inside of you. With how soaked you were, the three digits slipped in and out easily, working you into a frenzy as the rough pads rubbed so attentively over that sensitive spot inside of you that had your legs shaking over his shoulders. 

The command for you to cum was muffled into your folds, almost drowned out by your relentless babbling, but you caught it. All it took was one particularly harsh thrust of his fingers, combined with a devastating suckle and flick combo from his mouth, and you were gone once more. Every thought flew out of your mind, the pleasure burning so bright, spreading out from your core until you were boneless and sobbing. As you orgasm petered off, you pushed at Joel’s head with more insistence, signaling to him that you were much too sensitive for a third. 

“Mmmm, fucking delicous babygirl,” Joel sighed as he pulled away, shoving his fingers into his mouth the second they were released from your twitching core. 

Watching him through hazy eyes, you couldn’t help but moan at the show he was giving you. It was so filthy, so downright depraved, that you couldn’t help but buck your hips up at him. A breeze filtered in from outside, hardening your nipples in a way that had Joel licking his lips. You reached a hand out to him, the desire in his eyes making you squirm, but he didn’t grab it. Instead he stared at it for a moment, letting out a frustrated noise before he was suddenly retreating. 

“J-Joel? What?,” you called, lifting yourself up onto your elbows to watch him go. 

Joel ignored your soft voice and you whimpered, desperate for him to return despite the fact that he hadn’t even left the room. Naked and splayed out, pussy crying for attention from the man with the monster between his legs, you were a disaster. But he was too busy, completely ignoring you as he headed towards the door. Tears blurred your vision at his refusal to say anything, a deep seeded desperation coming from within, and you cried out.  

“Please,” you squeaked, overwhelmed by the pangs of desire that came from your very being. 

It wasn’t just Joel’s cock you needed. No, it was his touch, his gentle words, his loving gaze. All of him was so perfect that you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you would yearn for his presence until the day you died. But with his attention elsewhere at that moment, you felt like you were going to wither and die. 

“Hush now darling, m’right here. You’re gonna be okay baby, I’ve gotcha,” Joel cooed, dropping down onto the couch so he could blanket himself over you. 

The weight of his heated skin against yours was one thing, but the smell of him was another. As you shoved your nose into the crook of Joel’s neck, taking in lungfuls of the delicious scent that was forever entwined with yours. A heavy sigh came from him, followed by an excited little chirp from you when he pulled back to kiss you on the tip of the nose. 

“Wasn’t going nowhere honey, just wanted to give ya this,” Joel chuckled as he held up the ring you had slipped off before heading out to the river. 

“Mmm, I guess I can forgive you, ring pleeease,” you giggled, fluttering your fingers at him until he grabbed the hand. 

The ring slid back onto your finger so perfectly that you couldn’t help but grin. It was toothy and wide, much too dorky to be sexy but Joel didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he matched your energy, looking like a kid in a candy store as his nose brushed yours. However, the second you felt his forgotten length rub against your core, reminding you of how the two of you were but naked and pressed together against the couch, the mood changed. The gaze upon you went from light and loving, to possessive and so devoted that one could mistake it for insanity. A shiver inched up your spine, goosebumps prickling the skin he brushed his hands over again and again. 

“Fuck baby, this is how I want you from now on. No clothes, just that fucking ring. God, s’like the mark, drives me wild every time I see it. Just another reminder that you’re fucking mine, mine to fuck, mine to take care of - shit - to marry, oh sweet Jesus,” Joel groaned, his words working the both of you up. 

“I want to get you a ring too,” you rushed out, hissing through your teeth as he started to rut against you, “Want to see it every single day, want everyone else to see it too, want all of the people in town to know that you’re my alpha, my mate, my husband, you’re mine too Joel.” 

That tore an animalistic groan from Joel and he nodded, grabbing the base of his cock so he could place it at your entrance. Even though he had just been inside of you, he halted for a moment, looking at you for confirmation that this was what you wanted. It filled you with warmth, your sweet alpha always checking in on you no matter how obvious it might seem to anyone else that you wanted him. And you knew that Joel would stop if you wanted him to, no questions asked. He only ever wanted to make you feel good. 

“Please baby,” was all you had to say and then Joel was pressing into you, draping himself over your nude form as your mouth dropped open from the stretch. 

You felt every ridge, every throbbing vein of his thick cock. A grunt came from you as Joel’s reddened tip brushed against your cervix. He pressed a line of kisses into your neck, ending it with a final peck to your swollen lips. A breathy whine tumbled out as he started a slow pace, circling his hips into the cradle of your own on every downstroke. The way his pubic hair scrubbed at your oversensitive clit was perfect. That and the way you panted into each other’s mouths, sharing breaths in between desperate kisses as strings of arousal dribbled down both of your thighs. 

“Pretty girl, my girl, so good for me, TOO good for me,” Joel joked your legs up a little higher around his waist, drawing a breathy moan from you as he slid a little deeper, “Just like that, hm? Is that the spot? Right there honey? Feels so good, you’re so good, shi-it.” 

“Yes, right there Joel. S’good baby, you make me feel so fucking good,” you answered, tearing at his shoulders with your claws as he dug into you a bit harder. 

The air was sweltering as you writhed against one another, every inch of your bodies pressed together so perfectly. Keeping a passionate pace, Joel grabbed one of your hands, the other slithering down to cup the growing life between you. Tears sprung to your eyes at the simple gesture and when you looked into his eyes, you saw how his glimmered as well. Ever the caretaker, Joel made a sympathetic noise and bent down to kiss your eyelids, doting upon you despite his own swelling emotions. 

“I love you Joel,” you whispered, heart bursting at the seams. 

“I love you too darling, so much that it scares me sometimes. I’d die for you, I’d kill for you, fuck - m’gonna live for you. My whole life is yours baby, gonna keep you nice and full, gonna take care of you - ohmygod - gonna make sure you never need a thing. I’ll give it to you baby, anything you fucking want, just ask,” Joel rambled. 

“Kiss me, make me feel it,” you whined, not even fully sure what it was you were asking him for. 

The whine Joel let out as kissed you was pornographic, so much so that you wished you had the means to record it. Although you had heard about the joys of sex tapes and somewhat understood how the vague concept of the internet had revolutionized the masturbation of many. However, you had never truly understood the appeal. It all seemed so crass and disconnected. Why would you want to watch two strangers fuck when you could go find Joel? However, the first time the need for him had hit while your mate was too busy with work to do anything about it, you couldn’t help but wish you had some footage to aid in the experience. Fuck, who were you kidding? You didn’t even need a video, just the sound of his deep grunts as he thrusted into you would be more than enough to get you there. 

“I w-wish I could take a video of us like this,” you admitted when he pulled back, too drunk off of him to censor yourself, “Would be so fucking hot, I’d watch it every - gah mmph - every single day baby. God, all I need is the audio and I’d be happy, wanna listen to the sexy noises my husband makes when he - oooh fuck - when he fucks me.” 

Joel chuckled, pulling back so he could look you in the eye as he said, “I don’t know how sweetheart, but m’gonna make that happen if it’s the last fucking thing I do.” 

The response you had died on your lips as the angle of his thrusts changed, his cock now brushing up against every pleasure spot inside, lighting up all of your nerve endings like the fourth of July. A wicked grin came from Joel when you let out a throaty groan, your head thumping back against the cushion as slick gushed from your throbbing cunt. 

“Oh, that’s it, isn’t it sweetheart? Did daddy find the spot? Fuck yeah I did, can feel her squeezing me like a goddamn vice. Choking my cock so fucking good, like you were made for it. Love it, love you so much baby,” Joel keened, his voice going up a few octaves with the strain of holding off. 

“G-Gonna cum, shit, gonna cum Joel,” you warned him. 

A choked noise came from your mate, followed by a litany of broken whines as Joel slammed his knot into your silken walls. You howled, exploding around the thickness of his flared base in a way that had you both boneless and wailing as his cum started to pour into you. His fingers dug into your hips, keeping them still so he could grind up into you, prolonging each and every release until you disintegrated into an overstimulated mess. The pleasure was so intense that you clamped down onto Joel’s shoulder, muffling your whines into his skin as you were thrown into space. By the time you were done cumming, he had filled you up so much that you were sure it would be leaking out of you for fucking days. 

“Holy shit,” Joel panted, rolling the two of you over so that he could steer clear of squashing your abdomen. 

A chuckle was all you could give, too fucked out to do anything else but rub his scalp in the way you knew Joel liked. Moaning from the attention, he melted into you. He nosed at your breasts, sighing into them as you pressed a kiss onto the top of his head. It didn’t matter that the couch was slightly cramped, or that there was a storm slamming into the sides of the house, or that the two of you were covered in sweat, what mattered was the way he hummed in satisfaction as you whispered a soft I love you baby into his curls, quickly answering it with his own slurred admission of adoration. 

Soon, Joel’s knot would go down and the two of you would drag yourselves off to bed, perhaps even going a couple more rounds before you had to return to Jackson. But for now, with your bodies entangled and your hearts one, you couldn’t think of anywhere else you’d rather be. As Joel dozed, his hands cradling your tummy as he dreamt about god knows what, you smiled to yourself. Despite everything that had taken place, you had made it. In that moment, with the two of you snuggled so close and the rest of your family waiting back home, you realized that neither of you were alone anymore and you’d never have to be ever again. 

The world was a ruthless place and many times your spine had almost snapped under the pressure but luckily there was someone who made it easier. Joel lifted the burden that came with existence, a cross which every human being was forced to bear, by simply existing. All of the chains around your soul had been torn off by that man, freeing you in ways that even he could never fully understand. Joel Miller was the first good thing in your life and after years of nothing but horror, you finally had proof that it wasn’t senseless to hope, to dream, to want something more for yourself. It was rare, but sometimes good things did come for those with the stomach to wait for it. So many times you had wanted to give up, to throw away any chance at happiness for the sake of comfort, but you hadn’t. 

And now, with the home you had always dreamed of embodied in the man who brought color into your life, you knew that it was all worth it. The two of you had felt the sharp sting of rejection, of loss, of grief, of spite, that sting had been the only thing keeping either of you alive before meeting each other. The tragedy of knowing true pain, not the kind that people mentioned in passing, but a true overwhelming grief surrounding the wretchedness of one’s own existence, had driven you both to the point of madness. It had seemed like hope was lost, only for the impossible to become reality in the blink of an eye. 

Fate had brought you both to the river that day, braiding your souls together so painfully tight that they could never possibly be torn apart again. And as the night slowly bled into dawn, you found comfort in the knowledge that the two of you finally had a life of peace. The world would turn in on itself as it always did, ensuring pain and perhaps even violence in the futures of many, but you were unshaken. Joel was your future. The family the two of you had built together with blood, sweat, and tears was your future. 

In a world poisoned by such constant agony, one might wonder what the point of any of it was and whether anything really mattered at all, but not you. No, you had learned first hand how to appreciate the simple things. 

The masterpiece of unending devotion that was created between two lovers. 

The divinity in a broken spirit when it finally loves and is loved in return. 

The violence that could come from protecting the person who made life more than just surviving. 

The transcendence of becoming the person you always wanted to be, the person you were always meant to become. 

The wholeness that came as a result of it all. 

To have Joel, to love him and be loved by him, was worth whatever price. There was nothing else more noble, more commendable to fight for than the gift that was true love. So as the man in question muttered in his sleep, yanking you even further into his embrace, you went willingly, allowing yourself to relish in the victory that was being happy in spite of it all. With Joel, you were home, the rest of it was meaningless. 

[oceanicwriting]

black book.

summary: falling in love with lorenzo berkshire was totally forbidden, but... what kind of story would your life be if you don't end up madly in love with him? although there is much more hidden under his sexual practices that end up releasing a part of you that he had never seen.

pairing(s): lorenzo berkshire x fem!reader

a/n: this ended up being so long that i didn't check it twice... sorry if there are errors, at some point i will give it another go, promise. btw, this was inspired by a tiktok i saw two days ago about this black book thing. hope you like it!

+18 smut (a little), oral sex/sit on my face (f!receiving), masturbation (f!receiving), fingering, teasing, mention and use of drugs, smoking, fuck buddies, cursing

ㅤㅤㅤ every woman knew, from the first moment they accept lorenzo berkshire between their legs, that everything that will happen would be strictly sexual and no more than one night. many had tried to change that, but he was a man of his word. at least he was with all the other girls who have been under his domain because you were too special for that. how could he even think about forgetting the best sex he had ever had in a closet in the hallways?

ㅤㅤㅤ since then, you've met more times than you can count, under the strict law of not crossing the romantic. at first, a little biased by the disgusting rumors about him, you thought it was a safe plan. and it was... for a while. when he started asking you to spend the nights with him, send you surprise notes, talk in the moonlight and all kinds of things, your heart became an incurable weakling.

ㅤㅤㅤ are you in love with lorenzo womanizer berkshire? of course you are.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what do you think of this one? —you look at your friend's dress, who walks around the room, swaying her hips—. i feel like it's not that short...

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at the end of the dress almost certain that if she sit down anywhere her ass would be exposed to the world.

ㅤㅤㅤ —of course, i forgot that the shorter the dress, the faster zabini fucks you, —you mumble with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ your friend throws a piece of clothing from the floor, laughing nervously at the comment and insulting you between murmurs.

ㅤㅤㅤ when she turns her attention back to looking for another dress, you let yourself fall on the bed, releasing all the air that you have trapped since last night. in your mind, you had repeated the events over and over again, trying to connect some things but failing miserably in the attempt.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what's wrong with you? every time we go to a snake party, you're jumping on one leg. did something happen with berkshire yesterday?

ㅤㅤㅤ the mere mention of his name sends a chilling wave through your body. you deny it, but your friend knew something had happened. the last few times you hadn't come back from being with him until the next morning, and last night you had come back early, slamming the door in your way in.

ㅤㅤㅤ —liar. —she comes over to sit with you on the bed—. come on, tell me.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo was a boy from another world in bed. he knew perfectly how to use a woman's body to please her desires, taking advantage of the situation to satisfy his own pleasure. he was fully aware of how to squeeze, bite, lick, or caress so that anyone could bend to his charm. and he had bent you in every way, body and soul.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you have to promise not to tell your crush about this —you say, lifting a pinky that your friend wraps around hers in a promise—. i found a black book in lorenzo’s room yesterday. it was a small leather notebook with a silver L on the front. i hadn’t really given it much thought, but he got so weird when he saw it in my hands. he was… tense like never before.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you couldn’t see anything inside?

ㅤㅤㅤ you shake your head and say—: i just wasn’t interested. i thought it was a notebook for class or something, but he got so mad that i doubt it.

ㅤㅤㅤ —that’s weird…

ㅤㅤㅤ your friend doesn’t want you to think about it too much and tries to make you forget about it with drinks straight from the bottle of alcohol she hides under the bed. that was the only fun you had all night because lorenzo disappeared with one of your classmates, and your friend got lost among the crowd.

ㅤㅤㅤ the next day, right after you wake up, your friend walks into the room, looking disheveled. when she notices you're awake, it seems like a memory hits the back of her mind, and her green gaze looks like it's about to explode.

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh and ask—: what hap...?

ㅤㅤㅤ she shushes you, throwing her bag onto the bed and searching for something amongst the makeup that falls against your messy sheets.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what the...? —in her hands is that black leather book with the shiny silver L sending out sparkles from the morning light reflection—. what did you do?

ㅤㅤㅤ —when blaise and i wanted to find a place to... —she trails off, painting her cheeks red—. you don't need those details, got it. the thing is, we went to the wrong room, and before we left, i saw the book on the desk. no one knows i have it, i swear on my parents.

ㅤㅤㅤ the book has a lot of full pages, losing the neatness of the empty ones at the end. there are entire minutes when you doubt whether to open it, but the curiosity running through your body is inevitable to feel.

ㅤㅤㅤ —so? —your friend asks, forcing you to look up at her—. are you going to open it or not?

ㅤㅤㅤ the first page has black book written in capital letters and lorenzo’s initials just below it. the next page has a small table that takes you two seconds to understand.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what is that?

ㅤㅤㅤ —they look like scores —you say, showing your friend the table.

ㅤㅤㅤ —scores? scores for what?

ㅤㅤㅤ and right below it, there was a list with three points, but the most important one was the one that gets stuck in your mind.

ㅤㅤㅤ —scores for sex.

ㅤㅤㅤ your friend looks at you, noticing the terrible mistake she made by bringing the book to you. she tries to take it from your hands, but you don't let her, and you start to slowly turn the pages. there were names of classmates, girls who have talked to you once, girls you don't know, and others girls you could remember in the back of your mind. and there was your name crossed out, but still visible with a five next to it. in that book, you were either a regular muggle or the worst of them all.

ㅤㅤㅤ —this was a terrible idea —your friend says, finally taking the book from you—. a horrible idea.

ㅤㅤㅤ but you can't speak because your heart has tightened so much that it leaves you breathless and unruly tears fall down your eyes. all you can think about is how pathetic you must look, crying over a man who made it clear from the first moment that you shouldn't fall in love.

ㅤㅤㅤ it had been a week since you discovered lorenzo's big secret. you could have chosen many paths to destroy him, but you made the cowardly decision to avoid him at all costs. he had tried to communicate with you through notes, appearing in the bedroom at any time of the day or chasing you through the halls. and yet, you didn't feel like facing him.

ㅤㅤㅤ when the night came, you always had the three same questions. hadn't he searched your body more than once? did you hear wrong when he repeated between grunts that you were doing perfectly? ​​why did he cum so fast when you wrapped your mouth around his cock? it was strange and disgusting that, after seeing all those names, your concern was centered on the small detail of a score.

ㅤㅤㅤ now you were sitting between a couple of people at a party that your friend had insisted you should be at. you felt calm, comfortable, and were having a great time. until the fun in your eyes fades when, walking through the door with a triumphant air, he appears. lorenzo berkshire would be your downfall for a long time, and you knew it very well.

ㅤㅤㅤ —hey, no. —you hear your friend's voice behind you, but your body is on autopilot, designed to escape—. enough of running away, okay? the girl i've known since i was ten never runs from jerks because she wears that skirt well and makes them suffer.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at her, then at the crowd. if lorenzo was any other selfless boy, you would have taken revenge as you well know, but he was not that. he had removed any sanity within your loving heart, and you were not sure about playing with something as fragile as that.

ㅤㅤㅤ —no. i...

ㅤㅤㅤ —no, you do —your friend says, pulling your arm to get onto the improvised dance floor with a big smile—. you and i are going to have the best night of our lives.

ㅤㅤㅤ you drink alcohol, dance among people, smoke marijuana, and laugh with faces you can’t remember. you were having such a good time that you can only now sit down laughing out loud at a joke your friend had told.

ㅤㅤㅤ —oh, let me get more alcohol —she says, losing her balance as she gets up from her chair—. oops.

ㅤㅤㅤ you follow his figure from your seat, and there he is. lorenzo is dancing close to a girl in the middle of the crowd. just seeing him ignites a wave of rage that feeds off of all the toxins you’ve taken up until that point. and you think in the midst of lucidity that maybe you could do your thing to make him angry... just a little.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look for some boy who can get your attention so you don't feel repulsed by his touch and you find him. in a corner, smoking a joint on his own, is a boy with fine features. it was the perfect moment, perfect man and perfect opportunity.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you get up, walking among the people, you purposely bump into the body of the girl who clings to lorenzo's shoulders. you apologize with a soft smile that doesn't fade from your face when you feel the boy's eyes linger on your figure contouring as you walk.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you arrive with your prey, you greet him with a more seductive voice than you expected, but it has the effect you wanted. it doesn't take you any time to have the boy in the palm of your hand, between jokes and white lies, you manage to have his fingers on your legs with a delicacy that could melt you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —do you want to go somewhere else? —it's the voice of the boy sitting next to you, speaking close to your ear. you look at the crowd in search of lorenzo, but you can't find him—. i don't think i can hold back the urge to touch you under that dress anymore.

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh and, the truth is, you didn't dislike the idea of ​​rolling around with this cute stranger either. of course, if he wasn't violently attacked by lorenzo's friends, starting a fight that no one can stop. it's impressive how screams, pushes, or swear words take center stage so quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ —walk. —even though it's just one word, you know exactly who that voice is, pulling you towards the bedroom stairs.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo's quick steps blur your vision, but you try to stay awake with the soft scent of his cologne hitting your nose. when you reach your room, you can't help but sit up in bed, trying to catch your breath and clear your mind to become aware of what will happen now.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you can lift your head, lorenzo is standing right in front of you. he has his arms crossed on his chest, dark gaze, and waits for you to start some kind of conversation. a wave of heat hits every part of your body, uneasy from the gesture of his tongue pushing the inside of his cheek. oh, he was so angry.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what? —you ask, getting up from the bed, trying to avoid him noticing the stumble you've made in your own steps.

ㅤㅤㅤ —aren't you going to say anything?

ㅤㅤㅤ you turn to see him, pretending not to understand with a small gesture of confusion, managing to feed his anger as you wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you ignore me all fucking week and now you let someone else fuck you in front of everyone. —he lets out a cynical laugh and claps angrily—. oh! surprise, despite everything, the lady has nothing to say.

ㅤㅤㅤ you try not to laugh at how funny his voice sounds in your head.

ㅤㅤㅤ —my problem if i want to fuck someone in front of everyone. why do you care, lorenzo? and he was just touching a little. tasting...

ㅤㅤㅤ you hear him, his four strong footsteps that shorten the distance with you. it's the scent of her perfume that you catch first, turning on some parts of your body. you can't deny that his demanding gaze also wreaks havoc on your stomach, and memories of all the times you've been together play through your head at an imperceptible speed.

ㅤㅤㅤ —we're not exclusive, remember?

ㅤㅤㅤ you expected those words to hurt him, but it seems they only manage to sink the thorn into your own heart, causing a pain that hasn't been felt so intense for a week. all because of that stupid black book.

ㅤㅤㅤ —and, after all, i'm nothing more than a muggle worth five points. —and it seems that hurts him, because he steps back, destabilized and obfuscated—. how long do you think it was going to take me to discover it? maybe you're used to taking them to your room once or never, but i've been to that fucking place, i don't know... fifty times?

ㅤㅤㅤ —how did you know?

ㅤㅤㅤ —that doesn't matter. do you know how disgusting i felt after knowing that? rating girls for their performance in bed? are you sixteen fucking years old?!

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo grabs your arm tightly, pushing you against the bed and preventing any movement with the weight of his body on top. your breathing hits at the movement, feeling dizzy again.

ㅤㅤㅤ —listen, it's not what you think.

ㅤㅤㅤ his voice, so clear and firm, different from the blurry image of that moment. it's hilarious that he wants to keep thinking you're stupid, as if you were exactly what his book says.

ㅤㅤㅤ —are you telling me that i lack reading comprehension? honestly, lorenzo, i'm impressed by how much you underestimate me and... —the laugh that had been stuck leaves your lips like music to the boy's ears—. you know what? fuck it.

ㅤㅤㅤ the leg that was trapped between his rises, giving a sharp blow against his crotch. your hands push his chest, turning in the bed to straddle him.

ㅤㅤㅤ —a five, enzo? —he looks at you, breathing heavily from the wave of torment affecting his body—. weren't you the one who was going after my body? did i hear wrong when you told me that i was doing it just the way you want? why did you seem to enjoy it when i'm a fucking five?

ㅤㅤㅤ yes, it was unpleasant to put scores, but in your chest was a much bigger pain. you like lorenzo. you are madly in love with him and that clouds every other sense in your head. you wanted to be a twenty, fifty or top score for him. you wanted to be enough. you wanted to be the only woman in his power. you wanted to change the immovable.

ㅤㅤㅤ —beautiful... —his hand tries to touch your cheek decorated with small tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ your body reacts by instinct, hitting his arm to press it against the bed, avoiding any touch that could make you lose the courage you have accumulated.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why, lorenzo?

ㅤㅤㅤ if there was something he hated was seeing sad tears running down your face, being enough to say—: i'm not the only one with a book like that. we compare scores, bet on it, and all kinds of things. i just... i didn't want them to know.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, noticing the honesty in his eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you didn't want them to know what?

ㅤㅤㅤ he smirks, looking at your body with lust. every curve, every place that only he knew, every trace of his marks that have disappeared, and every area that he could touch to make you roll in pleasure. lorenzo knew every little detail of your body with such precision that it was inevitable for him not to imagine you naked.

ㅤㅤㅤ —how amazing you are in bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ and you could blame many things for the events that happen after that. you'd say it was his deep voice that scratched your insides, messy hair that falls on the duvet or disheveled clothes. some might believe when you blame the alcohol, but there was someone in the whole world who would always know the truth. you.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo buries his hands in your hips, pushing you against his body to grab your lips with a delicious habit. the taste of alcohol in his mouth is the same as yours, intense and hot. your hips move with the help of his hands that squeeze just the way you like. you let him dominate the situation of that kiss until a fleeting memory comes back to your head.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i want you to use your mouth —you murmur against his lips—. i want you to use it so you can't use it on anyone else.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo looks at you, trying to turn on the bed to do what you ask. the problem is that your body tenses at the intention, and he looks at you with confusion.

ㅤㅤㅤ —not like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ you pull your panties off to stop your pussy right in front of his face. the simple breath of lorenzo hitting your folds makes you shudder, but you know he has to suffer like never before. so, when he makes the gesture of getting closer to your wetness, your fingers tangle in his hair, pressing his head against the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i want to hear that you want it. i want you to beg.

ㅤㅤㅤ it was always lorenzo who dominated in the relationship. you enjoyed it that way, but today, there was a rage inside you that was as uncontrollable as the wave of ecstasy that runs through your body when you talk to him that way. you wanted to make him feel so small that he would be the one to beg to come back this time.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, part of his face covered by the black skirt and gaze lit up in flames. the hot, heavy air crashing against you was perfect, sending desperate signals to your eager and needy body.

ㅤㅤㅤ —let me devour you. i want to lick and suck until i can't take it anymore. please, just, please...

ㅤㅤㅤ and your pussy presses against his lips, holding part of your weight with the headboard of the bed and legs. lorenzo doesn't take long to do what he had asked, stimulating your clitoris with the tip of his expert tongue. you moan at the tickling sensations that travel from there, moving your hips gently against him.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo kisses, sucks, and licks as best he can against the weight of your body on top of him, raising his eyes over your skirt to watch you arch your back every time his tongue gets close to your entrance. his hands move up to your breasts, where one stops to squeeze over your shirt and the other continues its way to your mouth.

ㅤㅤㅤ —do you wanna s-see how i do it? —you say, looking down at him and sticking your tongue out to lick his fingers—. i always imagine it’s your cock.

ㅤㅤㅤ his fingers sink into your mouth so deeply that it’s impossible not to gasp. your tongue licks, curling and tasting the length of his long digits. when lorenzo is satisfied with that, he moves his hand from your back to your entrance.

ㅤㅤㅤ —w-wait, j-just wait a little —you say between soft moans—. i need you to go down a little.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo does so, making you shiver from the new sensation that builds up in that perfect area. then, you feel his fingers digging in in the perfect direction to touch a spot that activates thousands of waves of pleasure.

ㅤㅤㅤ his fingers going in and out quickly, while his mouth continues to stimulate you, was enough to make your legs feel weak. the accumulation of emotions that are trying to be released with moans explodes in an electric current that travels from head to toe, cutting off the air that enters your lungs, making you scream and fall against lorenzo's face pressed against your thighs.

ㅤㅤㅤ he grabs your ass and manages to turn with his head still buried between them. you can feel the tip of his tongue wander over your sensitive areas again. suffer, suffer and suffer.

ㅤㅤㅤ —stop. —one of your feet pushes his shoulder, making him look at you confused—. will you burn that book?

ㅤㅤㅤ your hands play with your shirt, lowering the neckline to free your breasts in front of him. lorenzo's gaze darkens, and he follows your hand to the inside of your thighs.

ㅤㅤㅤ —beautiful...

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo licks his lips, feeling his cock tremble in the desire to bury itself so hard and deep inside you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —would you do it to feel how my tight pussy takes you? would you do it so you could enter me whenever and however you want?

ㅤㅤㅤ a wave of pleasure runs through your body at the sensation of your own fingers touching the places that make you moan in front of him. lorenzo was slowly losing his sanity, and you could see it in his eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —yes, i will. i'll do whatever you want with that book —he says, his voice dragging out the words because of the rush with which he says them—. i will.

ㅤㅤㅤ and from one moment to the next, even if you're not sure how, you're out of bed with lorenzo staring at you as hard as the bulge in his pants about to explode. you don't let that weaken you, adjusting your clothes in seconds.

ㅤㅤㅤ —good. perfect, really. —he follows your body to the door with the bad mood sprouting from every pore of his skin—. then we can finish this when you do it right in front of my eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what?

ㅤㅤㅤ —what you heard —you say, sliding a soft smile on your lips—. when i see that ridiculous book in pieces, you can finish what we started. now, get out of my fucking room and close the door on your way out.

ㅤㅤㅤ your body disappears behind the bathroom door, where you hear him call your name angrily, and he leaves the room shortly after. if he hadn't given up, you were sure you would have, so you're thankful he did it first.

ㅤㅤㅤ the surprise is that lorenzo came back minutes later with the book in one hand and his wand in the other, turning the book on fire right in front of your eyes to turn you into a rag of moans, licks, thrusts and marks. not many things could change about this relationship now, but you know that lorenzo might be a little more in love with you than it seems.

[cloudshuffle]

Hi, d for the request can I please have yandere Royal Jade x thief reader?

gem in the rough. yan!jade

nobility au

Her grace, the elegant, classy, duchess Jade, also has a penchant for being frightening.

So terrifying is she that it's said she can make grown men wet themselves at a single glance (this is untrue, on accounts that it was only one man who she caused to wet himself, and there were many other factors involved in his pants-wetting, so he says. I think it’s more amusing to leave it down to the duchess.)

Yet all rumours sprout from a seed of truth. Jade is a formidable individual, demoness or not, and it’d do anyone good not to cross her. She near monopolises the flow of jewels in and out of our borders, and as far as it’s been recorded, none of her ventures have ever failed. She’s wealthy. Some even say she’s more powerful than the emperor himself.

The duchess has an eye for valuable things; things that would pay her back tenfold, if invested in the right way. Despite her cutthroat methods, I know merchants who would kill to be in partnership with her - provided they get an audience with her first. Duchess Jade is a very difficult person to get a hold of.

Speaking of valuable things. I suppose it’s dangerous for a thief to keep a diary, yet here we are. I’ve been feeling rather… lonely and sentimental recently, something about how there might be no one to remember me by. Anyway. It’s been said that the duchess has in her possession something called the Dragon’s Eye - an exquisite, rare, lovely jewel that would buy me not only my freedom out of these borders, but also a life beyond them. I have someone who’s willing to pay.

I do intend to acquire it for myself.

I’ve been watching the duchess’ estate for a period of time now, and I’m quite confident I’ll be able to slip in easily tonight. After that, well, let’s just hope the plans to the castle are up to date. If they aren’t, this will be my first and last entry, which is amusing in a way.

Though aren’t my best heists always the ones less planned?

In confidence, (Name).

I have to admit, the duchess herself isn’t the only frightening thing about her estate.

Security is nearly watertight, and I nearly got mauled at least thrice tonight. But humans are ultimately foolish creatures, and I managed to trick the guards at the outer walls into thinking their mutts were acting up at a squirrel. Still, I thought my heart would jump out of my throat.

The guards in the corridors? Less perceptive than the maids. Those twittery ladies never miss the slightest bit of gossip to pass around. I slipped into a uniform, hinted that the stable boy had his eye on the duchess, and slipped out quickly as they begun speculating on what might happen. He does have quite the looks. Shame he might be fired soon.

And finally I was close enough to slither into her jeweller’s vault, right underneath the guard’s feet. Or the carpet under them. It was a tight, unpleasant squeeze, but what’s playing pretend as a snake compared to my future on the line?

Rumour had it that Jade’s vault was manned by a host of the continent’s best lapidarists, all chained to their desks and made to slave away to produce only the best jewels for her. That rumour always seemed a little silly to me. Didn’t people work best when they were well-fed and happy? But there were no lapidarists. In fact, there wasn’t a single soul in that chamber, not even a guard.

The carpeted floor ate up all sound, and the gems sparkled silently in clear cases. I probably could have stolen the cushions they rested on and fetched a small fortune - the workmanship and the gold embroidery spoke enough.

But I was here on a mission. And though I usually turn away at the sign that something might go awry, maybe it was the temptation of my reward, or maybe it was the sight of the jewel that drove me on.

Fiery red and deepest purple laced with the richest gold. Lovely didn’t even begin to describe such a jewel. Though an eye for aesthetics didn’t come with the job, I think even a blind man could simply feel its beauty radiating from it.

The gold in the middle did somewhat resemble an eye. And I took it with gloved hands and slipped it into a velvet pouch.

Leaving was easy. The compound was designed to keep people out rather than in, and I made it back to my temporary quarters without fuss. I deposited the jewel safely (even I’m not foolish enough to note down where it is), and satisfied at having a job well done, decided to treat myself to a drink at the bar downstairs.

There was a lovely lady at the bar with a presence about her. She looked normal enough with a nondescript cloak and brown hair (save the covering across the lower half of her face), but she didn’t feel normal, and so all the other patrons were giving her a wide berth, even raging drunk. I was in no mood to contend with rowdy, stinking men, so I took up the empty seat next to her.

“Good evening,” she said to me, and I had to sigh. Conversation really wasn’t on my agenda for the day, but she must have misunderstood. “Long day?”

“Sure,” I replied. “Just got home from work.”

“So late!” she exclaimed. “You must be working very hard.”

I shrugged. “I suppose I do.”

Conversation died down, and she left shortly after that. She did tell me she was looking forward to seeing me again.

I wonder what she meant.

Yours unsurely, (Name).

With much difficulty, I’ve finally managed to make contact with the buyer! Pardon the excitement, but we’ve arranged for a meeting at the docks tonight, where they’ve already arranged passage for me. I asked why they weren’t worried about me running off with the jewel, and they said that I likely didn’t want to keep it in my possession any longer.

Which is… true. It’s hard to find a buyer for such a high profile object, but harder still to keep it around me. I’ve been checking on it every day, and I’ve noticed that I feel… somewhat queasy around it. Like it’s a drain on my energy.

Hey, I didn’t survive this long without being at least a little superstitious.

That aside, it was discovered that the jewel went missing sometime in the night that I stole it. Though it’s an important item, the upper echelons seem more interested in covering up the theft than issuing a public notice. I suppose I understand. How would it look if not even the nobility had safe, secure homes?

Regardless, as long as it doesn't harm me, I suppose the jewel and I can coexist for a day longer. And I'll let the stone keep its secrets. It’s not much longer before it’ll be off my hands.

Looking forward to the future, (Name).

I’m writing this entry by candlelight, still sweaty and breathless from escaping from that place.

I made my way to the docks once the sun set. The Eye was heavy in my pocket, but in some way, I felt like the weight of my future was finally in my hands.

I was feeling unusually optimistic. And I’ve learnt, thankfully, that that’s when things go wrong.

Like any respectable thief might, I concealed myself amongst the many crates and boxes waiting quietly to be brought inland the next day. Making the first appearance is always foolish. My boat, supposedly, bobbed quietly on the water with not a soul in sight. Not unusual - the sailors would all be inland at the moment, causing ruckus at the taverns. But it didn’t help to reassure me any better.

Shortly after, a trio of horses and riders come down the docks. Not the most discreet way to get somewhere, and definitely not the level of caution I would expect from someone about to attain the Dragon’s Eye. I knew I was right to be suspicious.

The lady in the middle got off first - I knew she was a lady despite the cloak because she rode side-saddle. Also another unusual detail in this day and age. The other two men at her side moved with a familiarity that I didn’t like; the kind that reminded me of trained soldiers and patrolling troops. They didn’t stir up particularly happy memories. When one of them moved, I caught a glimpse of sheathed blade under his cloak.

Two soldiers. And a noble lady.

I knew this, because Duchess Jade lifted the hood off her face in one smooth motion, her pink curls tumbling out like a cascade of silk.

I bit back a gasp. Because seeing the duchess up close, I recognised her too - the same lady who’d just sat next to me at the inn bar. No matter how she’d changed her hair, using magic or otherwise, it was definitely still her, aura and all.

“My dear master thief.” Her voice rang out, clear and full of authority. I knew immediately that confrontation wasn’t an option. “I know you’re hiding somewhere. You’ve done such a wonderful job, attaining the Dragon’s Eye. Do show yourself so I can present you with your reward.”

From under her cloak, she pulled out a drawstring bag, large and heavy with coin. Jade shook the bag as if to prove its contents, then retrieved papers and slipped those inside too.

“More credit, and legitimate papers for your safe passge.” She patted the bag. “This offer won’t last forever, master thief. Or should I call you, (Name)?”

By the time she finished her sentence, I was already gone.

I pick up this entry, once again by candlelight, once again fleeing.

The duchess knew where I was staying, which gave me valuable time to pack what little I had and sneak onto a transport cart. Once out of the city, I hopped off and hitched a more legitimate ride with another cart. Not that I trusted these people not to rat me out, but there was no way I was stopping any of these men in the dark without giving them a fright.

I’m on my way towards the border. The Eye is still heavy in my pocket, sitting quietly like an obedient child. I hadn’t known what to do with it, and figured it might be better to carry it with me, in case I needed to barter for something valuable. Like a life.

This journal will have to take backseat for now. I get the feeling I need to jump carts soon.

(Name).

[odditycircus-2002]

Mortal Kombat 1 Intros Part IV

A/N: I'm a fan of The Boys and have been watching the newest episodes of season 4. Of course, I love to hate Homelander, and it's satisfying to watch fatalities performed on him in Mortal Kombat 1 after watching him perform heinous crap. This led me to watch his intros and then other Mortal Kombat character intros, and inspiration hit! So I hope y'all like this.😁

Oh! And for those of you that are new, the reader here is a Gorgon, meaning snake hair and wears a mask since they can turn people into stone. They also happen to be an Imperial Healer with a bit of a dark side. Hope that helps!😁

Batch I

Batch II

Batch III

Homelander

Y/N: You are not a god. You’re simply, bad product.

Homelander: You’ll be praying to me for mercy soon enough.

/

Y/N: Why should I give you respect when it’ll only go to the bottomless gaping pit of insecurity you call a soul?

Homelander shivers sarcastically: Should I be intimidated by you?

/

Y/N thoughtfully: Perhaps a virus is in order...

Homelander scoffs: A God is above something so insignificant to him.

/

Homelander: What's with the ridiculous mask? Are you trying to cosplay as some D-List Supe?

Y/N: Why don't you take it off and find out?

/

Homelander: Pray to all the “gods” you want, you won’t survive against me.

Y/N: Why assume that I pray to any of them?

/

Homelander incredulously: You actually want to fuck that disgusting freak?!

Y/N with snakes out ready to bite: Unlike you, Baraka doessssn't fill me with revulsion at the sight of him!

Omni-Man

Y/N: One look and this should be over, fast.

Omni-Man: I'll break your neck before you can even get a peek at me.

/

Y/N: Having been betrayed by a cccccharlatan lover before, I know your wife would want you dead.

Omni-Man angrily: You're not her, so your point means nothing.

/

Y/N cautiously: Your medicine could treat Tarkat?

Omni-Man: If you comply and pledge your allegiance to the Empire, all your patients may receive Viltrum care.

/

Omni-Man: You have stupidly condemned your patients to death!

Y/N: I would rather have my heart ripped out than be fooled twiccccce by a charlatan!

/

Omni-Man: Think it over; what will you have serving a diseased ruler and others with her plague for 500 years?

Y/N: I will have no regrets pursuing my lifelong dream.

/

Omni-Man: I'll rip your damn head off in under a minute.

Y/N ominously: Rest assured, this fight will be a real Scourge.

Raiden

Y/N: Are you aware that Madam Bo's special tea is local around my canton?

Raiden: How in the world did she acquire it then?

/

Y/N: I would’ve paid all the koins in Outworld to have seen you absolutely humiliate Shao.

Raiden: I sense you and him never got along.

/

Y/N: I can confidently say that you’re healing up nicely since we fought the Dragon Army.

Raiden: I’m not sure I would’ve survived without your medical care.

/

Raiden: It must be hard being The Colony's lead Healer.

Y/N: Everyone who dies under my care is a blow to my soul.

/

Raiden: Why is there a statue of Kung Lao in the Wu Shi’s Courtyard?

Y/N shrugs: Kung Lao mentioned how he always wanted a statue of himself.

/

Raiden: You’re very different from how your Titan self acts.

Y/N shivers in disgust: I should thank Liu Kang for not having me predestined for Shang Tsung.

/

Raiden: You only have yourself to blame for missing your chance with Y/N.

Shang Tsung chuckles: You say that as if I don’t still have a chance to win them back.

Kung Lao

Y/N: So far, I don’t see any signs of Tarkat but there’s still a chance you could spread it without apparent symptoms.

Kung Lao: You are not putting my mind at ease, at all.

/

Y/N: You’re inviting me? I don’t even know if I’m able to stomach regular food anymore.

Kung Lao: It would be a crime if you didn’t get to try Madam Bo’s cooking at least once!

/

Y/N: How did you not loose any fingers when you first made that hat???

Kung Lao smugly: Through much practice and much skill

/

Kung Lao: I beaten you in our last fight, so what will change here?

Y/N mischievously: This time, I’m not holding back.

/

Kung Lao: Can you believe that the Wu Shi have a trap dungeon?

Y/N hisses in amusement: Who knew the Shaolin were so diabolical?

/

Kung Lao: You and Baraka aren’t a couple???

Y/N sighs wistfully: How I wish that to be true…

/

Baraka: I don’t always understand what Y/N sees in me.

Kung Lao: You definitely have something more than Shang Tsung.

Kenshi

Y/N: I am sorry I couldn't have saved your sight.

Kenshi: You did the best anyone could in that situation.

/

Y/N: What is it like using Sento to see?

Kenshi: It’s like when you stare at a flame and look away, you see the light of the flame even though it’s gone.

/

Y/N: According to Earthrealm myths, the closest to describing my current form is a “Gorgon”.

Kenshi: Perhaps that’s because there have been other gorgons before.

/

Kenshi: I don’t know Y/N, that seems a bit excessive even by the Yakuza’s standards.

Y/N: You and Kitana think a bit of food tampering is too much.

/

Kenshi in surprise: You and Shang Tsung weren’t just lab partners?

Y/N angrily: I was a fool to fall for his charmssss in the first place!

/

Kenshi: Given how you both act around one another, I'm surprised you and Baraka aren't together.

Y/N: I'm grateful to have him in my life.

/

Kenshi: The Colony is fortunate to have you and Y/N.

Baraka: I thank Deliah every day for sending them my way.

[valentine-cafe]

˖⁺. ﹙ the snake deity of deceit. ﹚: zhào talisen  164 .𖹭 ݁

. . . scary? my god you’re divine !! 🍒 : “ i am the face that stares back at you in the mirror, tormenting you before your heart shatters like the millions of glass pieces that previously occupied the golden mirror frame you built for yourself ”

꒰ verse ꒱ 164

꒰ species ꒱ corrupt snake god, primordial rhytraari

꒰ ethnicity ꒱ chinese 

꒰ age ꒱ unknown ( millennia )

꒰ gender ꒱ male

꒰ mbti ꒱ isfp

꒰ alias ꒱ copper resentment, the copper rhytaari, copper primordial rhytaari, copper wrath ( by ecpd 781 ), copper siren, copper boy, the great snake, the serpent of the lake, duckling, emerald’s right hand, ( shrimpie ♡ )

꒰ story ꒱ 

a master of lies - the deity of deciet and great destruction. serpent to most, siren to some - a mad god is what he actually is.

a being of chaos, a chaos that hungers forever and on — craving discord and destruction, awakened by this. . . underlying hatred for the world, a hatred unknown. what caused this to stir in the first place?

taking form of a giant serpant that many write about in their numerous mythologies across the eras. too busy sucking out the souls from their physical bodies and luring them into the waters of his river, his lake. tearing them open and degrading them from entering the vicinity. stupid humans, stupid, stupid mortals.

why enter the ever dawn when it is rumored to be a place where none come out of once they enter? was their deaths not enough to satisfy their knowledge, did they truly have to go search? stupid, mortal, creature.

the being has no love for this world. . . why?

who is to say?

none will, the mouths that were once able to are dirt filled and bone now.

 

꒰ appearance ꒱

copper eyes with maroon undertones. slitted pupils 

long, straight black hair that trails behind him, he often has it up in some form of a half-bun. has copper streaks in his hair 

tan skin with copper glimmers all over his body. has copper freckles all over his face. androgynous and sharp facial features  

7’11” tall ( 241.3 cm ) with a slender figure 

hands ad forearms are stained in copper colouring 

snake features, such as eyes, fangs and general features 

rows of sharp teeth and an elongated tongue 

sharp talons 

typically dresses in lots of traditional clothes in regards to his culture. especially long, elegant hanfus

gold and copper chains and necklaces all around him. on his clothing as well 

red painted lips 

copper and gold bracelets crafted with opals and pearls 

lobe and upper lobe ear piercings 

gold nose ring 

midline tongue piercing 

opal navel piercing

can turn into a giant snake that often dwells within lakes and water bodies

 

꒰ personality ꒱

alluring and charming, a silver-tongued, cunning and deceptive being which thrives off of discord and feeds on resentment.

carries himself in an eerily calm manner, an effortless cool confidence following wherever he may step.

when displaying wrath and malice, it is usually put into a serene and calm font, his enchanting voice misleading you into false safety.

deceitful, loves spinning the truth and playing mind games on people.

sinister — you find him often delighting in chaos, unafraid to step on a few eggs if it means he can have his way.

a master of manipulation, the rhitaari indulges in sadism of the highest degrees and often gives into his violent tendencies.

a sociopath, far from forgiving.

eager to put people in their place and remind them of his power, all with a smile on his face, laced with kindness.

he is patient, yet determined and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals.

in spite of his general aura of elegance and control, talisen can be quite erratic and even impulsive; something that can lead to catastrophic evens.

despite his malevolence, the rhitaari can as a matter of fact extend kindness to those he deems worthy of it. he does not fancy hurting the innocent. . . unless they can be used as leverage.

he is a possessive man, and has a tendency to grow beyond obsessive over the ones who hold his heart, which can result in quite the yandere behaviors from him.

though, he may be this confident being, it all ultimately falls short when the deeper parts of his soul are observed.

he is deeply wounded from the past. ashamed and guilty from the choices that he made and commit to. . . though, the show must go on, must it not?

 

꒰ with a lover ꒱

sweet and gentle with a lover, caring and nurturing

so many possessive undertones, hidden well by his deceptive behaviour. he is most definitely yandere esque. wants you all for himself — so that he can put you into his and his husbands’ cottage, and keep you there. where you can just simply be, and enjoy life them

always doing his best to assure that you are feeling good. and when you are not he’s immediately running to you to bring you comfort or whatever it is that you may need

dances you around the cottage or the forest grove, singing soft melodies to you

composes many poems and songs for you

very touch starved man, which means his hands are always resting on you, whether it be your hips, waist, thighs, shoulders — anything he can touch really

when you are not around him to touch, cuddle or simply speak to — he gets irritated very quickly

can be extremely teasing and flirty. especially with his words and touches. can get exceptionally touchy

can pretty much the definition of a puppy that forgets how big it really is. randomly picking you up and slinging you around gently, or simply just holding you close, stealing kisses and randomly throwing you into bed to cuddle

expect lots of random midnight walks

sooooo many kisses and huggles through the day

 

꒰ strengths ꒱

alluring song and beauty: his songs and beauty are enchanting, much like that of a siren. he is able to put people in trances with this and lure them to their watery demise.

he is proficient with enchantments, and often uses them for his mischievous deeds, causing discord and chaos wherever he may step foot. also uses enchantments to his advantage as a way of drawing in wanderers and onlookers into his river.

illusions: born with these illusionary powers even before he was a rhytaari, he has now mastered the skill of creating entire empires in one simple flick of the wrist. this means when you walk into one of his illusionary fields you may experience intense brain fog, nausea and start hallucinating, as you are walking into something that is seemingly real but isn’t. he uses this method to also lure people to him and kill them.

charms: he has taught himself charms throughout his years, using them to make people tell him things when they refuse to do so.

teleportation: the ability to travel from one place to another instantly, with so much as a thought. this includes multiversal and realm teleportation.

silver tongue: something he has always wielded, he can be both incredibly deceptive and convincing. able to work his way around someone’s head and pull at them like the strings of a puppet. he is talented in the ways of manipulation.

mind-reading: the ability of telepathy, however, he can only do such if he is deeply connected to the person or know the person very well.

shapeshifting: the ability to shift his form into whatever he so desires, this can range from different people and beings to animals.

divinity: he is considered to be a corrupt god and therefore obtains catastrophic abilities, that of which allows him to quite literally have the ability to rip into universes

 

꒰ weaknesses ꒱

. . . 

 

꒰ relationships ꒱

rishen herrera: husband, best friend, ‘deceased’ ( dies and reincarnates repeatedly )

alessio agresta: husband, work partner.

1311 rishen herrera: boyfriend, different universe ( verse 1311 )

9948e rishen herrera: close friend, different universe ( verse 9948e )

9948v rishen herrera: close friend. . . different universe ( verse 9948v )

zhào talisen: bullying victim, variant, different universe ( verse 781 )

zhào jìngyì: bullying victim, variant, deceased, different universe ( verse 9948e )

209 jìngyì herrera: bullying victim, variant, different universe ( verse 209 )

1311 jìngyì agresta: bullying victim, variant, different universe ( verse 1311 )

 

꒰ extra ꒱

he can turn into a small duckling when visiting people that he is fond of.

he is omnilingual yet his preferred languages are english and chinese ( mandarin )

he also knows all sign-language

he torments his variants ( doppelgangers ) across the multiverse, projecting his self-hatred onto them

he smokes with a kiseru pipe.

owns several familiars who were left behind by previous owners.

he can travel the multiverse with no restrictions.

[crescentmel]

i watched the x-men films for the first time ever here are my thoughts *spoilers obviously* :D

small backstory: i was going to go watch Deadpool & Wolverine however i have seen the previous deadpool movies but i’ve never watch the x-men films at all, my knowledge of that universe is minimal. my coworker suggested i at least watch Logan before watching Deadpool & Wolverine so i did.

Logan is easily one of the best Marvel films i have ever watched in my life, like top 3 films for sure it was amazing im still thinking about this movie weeks later. so i watch Deadpool & Wolverine and realize im low key obsessed with logan so might as well watch all the x-men films ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALSO I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE FROM THE COMICS DONT COME FOR ME

The Original Trilogy

Overall i enjoyed the first two films, i think The Last Stand might be my least favorite of the whole franchise im not gonna lie

i’m just gonna say it, i was so not here for the Logan & Jean romance, like im kind of a hater so if this upsets you than this post is not for you lmao

ADORED JEANSCOTT WITH MY HEART AND SOUL !!! THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTE !!!!

Right of the bat, Logan & Jean’s romance felt SO forced. like it wasn’t believable for me, in the first movie it felt like Logan decided he was in love with Jean, not that he is actively falling in love with her, it was kinda weird

Meanwhile you can like clearly tell that Scott & Jean are in love with each other, but it feels like Logan’s character is just disregarding that

I understand in the comics it’s supposed to be a love triangle of sorts, i just think that if they wanted to do that for the films they could have portrayed it better

Ororo is an angel i love her

charles & eric need to make out

scott summers you ball of sunshine

i’m glad the rogue crush thing died in the first film bc ohmygod that was hard to watch

my favorite is X2 of this trilogy i really liked the plot and how it expanded more into Logan’s story

The Wolverine Trilogy

Origins wasn’t like, super terrible? i guess? my least favorite of this trilogy for sure though

i liked the plot twist that his girlfriend of 6 years was manipulating him, i didn’t see it coming, i was like WOW that’s fucked up

was disappointed he forgave her like wtf 😭

deadpool thing was weird i didn’t like that

good film to learn logan’s backstory, his brother was so fucking annoying though

The Wolverine was a decent film, if ur looking for an x-men film that’s more action centric than mutant centric this is your film

it felt like a wolverine side quest lol, nothing crazy going on, but i liked it more than Origins

logan is just tired

snake lady’s powers were cool

this girl is never going to see logan again so at least she got what she could

it goes without saying that Logan 2017 is the best film in the whole x-men/fox franchise

i could definitely make a whole post going into a deep dive of Logan but i’ll just keep it short

Logan’s dedication to taking care of Charles warms my heart in a way you cannot imagine, he truly cares so deeply for that man, charles gave him the opportunity of having a new family and i feel like logan will always be grateful for him

Logan & Laura :’)

it was like watching Logan go from only caring about kids in a “i’m a teacher” way to seeing Laura in a “i’m her caretaker now” kind of way, like there was a shift in his character that he wasn’t expecting

my little family of three that definitely lived happily ever after

my favorite scene of the whole film was when Logan realizes that it was his clone self that stabbed Charles, and his immediate gut reaction was to say “It wasn’t me” and to reassure Charles that Logan would NEVER do that

so that Charles would never die thinking one of his closest friends (AND SON FIGURE) would ever betray him like that and kill him

LIKE THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO LOGAN, HE DIDNT WANT CHARLES TO DIE THINKING HE KILLED HIM ;_________;

Logan 2017 the film that you are

X-Men Prequel Films

oh boy here go

right off the bat i’m going to say Days of Future Past exceeds all four of these films, so fucking good, my favorite after Logan

but yeah First Class wasn’t like, terrible per say, i just found myself a little bored ngl

absolutely here for eric & charles love story, they’re literally friends to lovers to enemies to still lovers but they’re still enemies i adore it

i liked the character that mystique brought (& jennifer lawrence) but it was just such a jump from the mystique in the first films

also i just think that if eric wants to kill his abuser then he should go for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just saying charles it was a lil weird u wanted to stop him

i get the premise, setting up the basis of the x-men, but i just found it a little lacking

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

amazing 10/10 movie, i genuinely enjoyed every second, actually felt like a superhero movie

great balance of logan not knowing what the fuck is going on vs charles knowing exactly what to do next & logan just going along with it i love it

i’ve heard legends of how amazing quicksilver is in these films and this went beyond my expectations, fantastic character AND amazing showcase of his powers, the writers cooked on this, also makes me want to rewatch wandavision bc i didn’t appreciate his character enough son i’m so sorry

prison breaking out eric sequence was amazing

there’s so much more but just overall amazing film

apocalypse was definitely something? i mean it was probably difficult to follow up days of futures past so i can’t blame them, not like the worst film ever but ….. idk

THINGS I LOVED !! young jean & scott :’) !!!!! genuinely so happy to see the beginning of their friendship & romantic relationship, they’re literally so fucking cute AND young storm omfg a baby 🫶🏾

took me a second to realize it was oscar isaac lol, also OUCH eric’s little family but also like wtf was that death ??? 😭

idk plot was just kinda everywhere, nothing super memorable, also i just found it funny that logan was there for like less that 5 minutes and all he did was grunt lmfao at least he popped off on stryker for the millionth time fuck that guy

uhm dark phoenix

the one and only highlight for me for dark phoenix was once again, jean & scott lmfao

the whole solar flare & alien race thing was kinda weird, they didn’t even explain the alien race thing that well, idk what to even say about this movie

i thought it was weird that hank & eric were suddenly jumping on the “let’s kill jean” train when like they know she didn’t mean to kill raven ??? 😭 like wtf

someone explain the timeline bs to me bc i was surprised that jean “died” AGAIN.

wasn’t the point of futures past that logan now in the present is experiencing the new timeline in which charles, scott, and jean are all alive

so why did jean die in this, does that not defeat the purpose, like she’s alive in the present

or were they trying to plan another prequel film in which she comes back, again. then it’s just a repeating storyline from the og trilogy

anyways it was kinda bad

i don’t even want to talk about The New Mutants i’m gonna be real, it was also bad

and that is my long af reaction to watching all the x-men films for the first time. if you’re reading this and read all my yapping then thank you i really appreciate it lol 🫶🏾 in conclusion, i’m sad i missed out on a whole era of these movies when they were being released (probably bc im avengers obsessed lol) but i’m glad i did watch them now, and now i have a new universe to hyper fixate on lmfao (and logan) amazing movies !! gonna go rewatch Logan now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

also here is my full x-men movies ranking, deadpool films included:

[liketwoswansinbalance]

What if Evil Rhian and Evil Rafal interacted? Give me a good show, boys. 🍿

Note:

Expect violence and all-around ugliness.

Also, thanks for the prompt. This was a fun one!

⸻

Rafal: The one thing I can agree with Vulcan on is that we should've kept the name: The School for Evil and Good.

Rhian: What.

Rafal: You heard me. Clear as a death knell. Vulcan should've killed you while he had the chance. Instead I'm bedeviled by you, a foul nuisance spawned from "Vulcan's stithy."

[To clarify: In his Shakespearean insult, Rafal is now referencing the mythological, Roman god Vulcan, not Vulcan of Netherwood.]

Rhian: Well, you're a raging egomaniac, for someone who thinks himself the finest puppetmaster in the Woods despite being inadequate when set next to me.

Rafal: As if you're not one. And such language from the so-called Ever. Dean 'Headache' would blush.

Rhian: All right, let's say I descend to your wretched level, if only to vanquish you: you left me in the Doom Room, to rot!

Rafal: If you weren't a traitorous snake, I wouldn't have left you. Besides, you went behind my back to the Kingdom Council to frame me! To launch a war campaign against me without a jot of forewarning. I should have done worse while you were still vulnerable, hanging there, numb.

Rhian: And yet, I overheard you say to Midas that your aim was to take over all the Woods? What say you to that, devil brother? If I win and take over, I'll string you up by your vocal chords.

Rafal: [derisively] That's anatomically impossible. You're new at this, aren't you?

[Rhian lunges for Rafal, and they get into an all-out duel to the death, executing remarkable feats of arms, considering the pitiful weapons they're armed with.]

⸻

[During an intermission afterwards:]

[They are black and blue, battered and bruised all over, sustaining minor cuts, each gasping for his breath, and they are seated on chairs, beside one another.]

Rafal: I should've brought my poleaxe, or even a halberd, so I could fracture your skull properly. Strike out the brains and dash them on the floor. [shakes his head.] Would've been great fun to ram a longsword through your ribcage, too, had I brought it along. [He twists his letter opener around idly.] This meager, little thing isn't suited for thrusting; it barely did any damage.

Rhian: [nursing a long, open slice on his forearm] I think you did enough with that letter opener. [He sheathes his dagger.] Though, someone should've died, even if you failed to shear me in two. What gives. What's the matter with us?

Rafal: [glances over at the Storian] Looks like someone or some thing wants us alive to provide the entertainment. I'm not opposed to trying again though. Why don't we? I'd love to rip out your heart. It's not as if it's getting regular use anyway.

Rhian: And I wish to wreak the same harm upon you, with your tongue besides. I hate hearing that grating voice. So monotonous. You could be a punishment for others in Hell where you belong. Your lectures are torture enough.

Rafal: Well, you won't have to hear me much longer. Not that you ever listen. Your dismembered ears will make excellent trophies of war. I could have them plated with gold—gold on the outside, rot on the inside, just like your tainted soul. [He smiles to himself, satisfied, and then, fishes through his jacket pocket and finds a long piece of thread in a clump, trying to untie it, so he can use it to garrot Rhian, or at the very least, choke him effectively enough.]

Rhian: And I'm sure your bones would make a lovely tea set, once they're pulverized. [Rhian reaches over to clock Rafal upside the head with a book.]

Rafal: [leans out of reach, rolling his eyes] Child's play. [He shoves Rhian off his chair and that devolves into a second fistfight on the floor, more vicious than the first, in an all-out brawl as they forgo all dignity.]

Rhian: At least I have HONOR! [he bellows to stall Rafal, while attempting to summon his dragonfire.] I'll scorch you like I would a snowman!

Rafal: [raising his voice as he throttles Rhian in the neck, punctuating every sentence with a punch] You? Honor? You're the least honorable man I know. At least my Evil's out in the open, for all to see. Everyone knows I use underhanded means. Everyone knows I'm a two-faced backstabber. And they rightly take precaution and obey me. [spoken through his teeth with a clenched jaw.] My Evil's a publicly-acknowledged fact. Can't say the same about you, you who went to the Kingdom Council, who indelicately skirts around Ever customs despite claiming to be one. Which makes me the "honorable" one, by your twisted definition.

Rhian: How dare you— [as he rakes his nails across Rafal's face, drawing blood that clots immediately due to their self-healing, as per the original oath, leaving shallow, stinging wounds that knit themselves right up.] I will outlast you!

[Don't ask me how they can still heal despite breaking their oaths. The Storian derives sick entertainment from mindless repetition and senseless, brutish violence. That's why.]

[And, the Storian doesn't bother to write because this is a regular occurrence with two Evil twins—it's unworthy of a tale, infighting not balance. And so, the Pen just watches and waits and watches...]

[beausmom1214]

Today (December 14th, 2024) was your birthday, you would have been 5 yrs old today. It has been half a decade since God welcomed you into Heaven and made a special place there just for YOU, my sweet baby boy….and someday I hope you will be showing it all to me with nothing but excitement and joy, as I join you and all our loved ones in that special place. When the time is right I can’t wait to get there, wherever it is, simply bc it means I will finally get to meet you, little one. You are my first born son, the only child of mine that I’ve ever held in my arms and the only soul I’ve ever met that I’ve ever loved so much, even before I got to hold you. And saying goodbye (for now) was the single most difficult life experience I’ve ever, ever had. It was so devastating to lose you, to finally get to see you but knowing your gorgeous little eyes would never get to open and see me. It’s been 5 yrs and I still think about you every single day, son….i wonder about the little man you would be growing up to be, & dream of what your future on earth could have held in store for you. I know in my heart you would be making me so very proud, and would have lived your life to the fullest, & loved with all you had in your great big heart…and the world would have loved you so much. I know because I love you so much, more love than I’ve ever felt for anyone before, and my love for you is so strong and runs so deeply through me that I know I will love you with my whole heart for the rest of my entire life (and even after that, always and forever). I know that God made a special spot for you, and I am so proud to know without a doubt that my son is sitting right there beside Him and helping Him in any way he can. I know your heart, because I made it, & helped it grow, beat by beat, right here next to mine. I know how much love you have to offer the world, and I know you are using that love and intense passion to help others, even from the other side. I know you are making me so proud and helping others find happiness as much as you can bc it is what you would have loved to do. You have a heart of gold and are so blessed to be in the presence of God and all of his Grace, fulfilling your noble purpose right there amongst all of the angels. I miss you so much, every single day. Losing you left such a huge wake of emptiness and sorrow in my life. Everything would be so different if you were still here, my sweet boy. I hope you had the best 5th birthday today in Heaven that any little boy has ever known. I hope you are happy, and I hope you are looking forward to the day when we will finally be reunited as much as I am looking forward to it. I am so proud to be your Mom, and I love you with all my heart. Happy Birthday, Beau Maverick, my sweet little angel in Heaven. Take good care of Brown Doggie and Miss Gaia, and Rosie the snake. Love them with all your heart, and care for them as best you would care for any of God’s creatures, and they will love you immensely right back, and someday we can all be together again. I’ll be here waiting for that day.